


Things I Yearn To Remember

by silverwriter01



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-08-30 21:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 44,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8548972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverwriter01/pseuds/silverwriter01
Summary: When Alex's date night with Maggie doesn't go as planned, she heads to Kara's apartment to process what happened. Only she finds the apartment empty except for a message. When Supergirl returns they discover half of her memories are missing and she has a strange idea about her connection to Alex.





	1. Is it a date?

**Author's Note:**

> This is not part of the Pink Kryptonite series. 
> 
> I wasn't going to write anything new until I saw Alex truly coming out to Kara. But this idea sparked in my head while watching 'Anastasia' with a younger cousin. So while listening to 'Once upon a December' I started typing this up.

“Okay, okay.” Alex muttered to herself. “Calm down. It’s not a date. It’s not…right?”

The brunette waved her hands in vertical parallel lines as if trying to gesture a car to go straight. “Focus.”

Alex Danvers knew it wasn’t a date, but she couldn’t help but wonder if it was a _pre_ -date. The pair had grown closer since Alex had come out to her two weeks ago at the Dolly Parton Dive Bar. Yesterday, Maggie had asked her out for a drink.

It was still such a surprise to Alex that she was gay. She had never considered that it was the reason she didn’t like being intimate with men. Until someone suggested she might be, Alex never knew she could be.

The secret agent connected it back to watching Grey’s Anatomy years ago when Dr. Callie Torres first slept with Dr. Erica Hahn. She had watched the episode with Kara, but had not been paying attention to it. She only tolerated the show because Kara loved it. The agent got lots of reading done over the seasons of Grey’s Anatomy; dealing with Kara insisting she looked like the character Dr. Lexie Grey. She did not look like little Grey.

Alex had happened to pause reading a journal article when the scene had come up on TV. Kara had squealed in delight because she totally shipped Callie and Erica. Her words, not Alex’s. Erica’s coming out scene would have remained lost in her memory if it hadn’t come into play years later in the present.

Erica had been in awe of sleeping with Callie, realizing she was in fact gay despite sleeping with men her adult life. The doctor had likened it to needing glasses. “They said I needed glasses. I didn’t understand that. It didn’t make sense to me because I could see fine. And then I get the glasses and I put them on and I’m in the car on the way home and…suddenly I yell. Because the big green blobs I’ve been staring at my whole life weren’t big green blobs. They were leaves on trees. I could see the leaves. And I didn’t even know I was missing the leaves. I didn’t know leaves existed and then…leaves! You are glasses. I am so gay.”

The scene hadn’t sparked any ideas in Alex’s mind at the time that she could be gay. It had never dawned on her that she needed glasses until like Erica she had met a beautiful Latina woman. It had never been so easy with someone like how it was with Maggie. Even her relationship with Kara had taken years to reach the level of closeness and comfort they shared. Alex did throw a few bonus points in Kara’s direction. It probably would have been as easy with Kara if she met her today and not during her teenage years.

Alex carefully adjusted the slight curls she had put in her hair. Her normally straight and flat hair didn’t often work with her desire for waves and curls, but tonight it had. She looked amazing for their date.

“It’s not a date,” She reminded herself. That’s why she had only dressed up to a 7 instead of a 10. If it wasn’t a date, she didn’t want it to look like she had thought it was. But if it was a date, she didn’t want to look like she hadn’t thought it was.

“Dating’s so complicated,” She muttered to herself, slipping into a pair of dress boots. She ran her hands down the sides of her blouse, smoothing out the wrinkle free material. “Okay. Not a date. Focus.”

Alex lost her entire focus when her doorbell rang. She opened her door to find Maggie Sawyer smiling at her and all she could think was, “Please let this be a date.”

 


	2. It's not a date

It wasn’t a date, Alex realized after thirty minutes in.

The agent had thought it was and had even acted like it as they sipped their drinks in the private corner booth of a classy bar. It had to be a date right? Otherwise they would have gone to the alien dive bar. Maggie stopped that thought process cold.

“I really think it’s a good idea if we just be friends for a while, Danvers,” The cop had suggested. Alex, who had been leaning close on the table and had even been twirling her hair, immediately backed away. Only years of government training kept her from blushing in humiliation or paling in despair.

“Of course,” Alex responded, trying to make it seem like that had been her idea all along. “We should just be friends. Who ever said otherwise?”

The agent took a sip of her beer and looked away, allowing her eyes to show the horror she felt. Her face was composed when she turned back around. She briefly hated the soft, sympathetic smile on Maggie’s face.

Maggie sighed and looked down at her own beer. “I know this is going to sound cliché, but it really is me. I’ve done some soul-searching these past few weeks, trying to get over my breakup and even considering starting a relationship with you. It’s not that I’m afraid we’d be bad together. Nor am I afraid of that stupid rule about how women never end up with the woman they came out for.”

What rule, Alex’s mind cried out. Is there a rule book? She made a note to find said rule book if it existed.

“I realized things ended badly with my ex because she was a rebound relationship. Even more so than that I realized I’m still in love with my ex before this one. Her name is Kate Kane.”

Alex’s eyes widened just slightly at the name. She knew that name. She didn’t know it from work though her job did allow her privy to lots of non-extraterrestrial government secrets. She knew it from Kara.

Last year the blonde had gone to Gotham with Clark and met Bruce Wayne and his cousin Kate Kane. Kara knew Bruce from her first few weeks on Earth so he knew her secret identity and she knew his. During the visit to Gotham, it hadn’t taken Kara long to figure out Kate was Batwoman and for Kate to figure out she was Supergirl. The pair of women had a grand time catching criminals together.

Once home from the trip, Kara had eagerly told Alex everything just as the blonde always had. Everybody always had to share a secret with someone. Alex was Kara’s someone.

Maggie chuckled as she saw the look in Alex’s eyes. “I can tell by your expression that you know about Kate’s night job. I figured you would. Like I said, not all my girlfriends were aliens.”

“Why did you break up if you still love her?” Alex asked, curiosity covering her humiliation that it hadn’t been a date and her bitter disappointment there would never be a date.

“A lot of reasons. Her night job and my day job were small issues. It was all small issues. But we loved each other very much. We were even engaged,” Maggie admitted. The cop released a loud exhale. “But little issues build up and then everything exploded. We broke up, I left Gotham to come here within a week, dated current ex, and here we are.”

“You still love her,” Alex stated even though Maggie had already said it. It was not hard to hear the affection in Maggie’s voice for her ex-fiancée. It wasn’t easy to hear either.

“Yeah,” Maggie Sawyer agreed. “So it’s not fair to start anything when I’m still in love with her.”

“She probably still loves you too,” Alex commented. Because who wouldn’t love Maggie. Who would break up with the amazing detective?

After a few more drinks, Alex excused herself to go home. She didn’t really go home though. She had the cab stop by a Chinese place and went straight to Kara’s apartment.

Her mind was racing with horrible thoughts as she took the elevator up to Kara’s floor. Of course she would come in second place to another superhero. Why wasn’t she ever good enough for anyone?

She knocked while using her key at the same time, not caring about respecting Kara’s privacy in the midst of her own misery. She called out when she entered, “Hey, it’s me. I know you weren’t expecting me but I thought we could do a movie night. I picked up Chinese.”

 Alex placed the food on the island, but paused on her way to Kara’s fridge for a beer. There hadn’t been a response. “Kara?”

The apartment was quiet and Alex felt a moment of nervousness. If Supergirl had been called, she would have known about it. The agent told herself to relax. Perhaps Kara had heard a cry for help from her apartment. Perhaps she had gone out on her own date.

Alex shook that thought from her head. Kara had made it clear she had no intentions on dating for a while. Despite how tempting James Olsen or Lena Luthor were, the superhero had remarked.

Alex had been set to call Kara on her communicator when she noticed the strange device on the dining room table beside a folded note with her name on it.

Alex read it aloud as she unfolded it. “Alex, please watch and forgive me when I get back. And I will be back! Love, Kara.”

“Oh god, Kara, what did you do?” Alex gasped, dropping the note to pick up the device which looked like a see-through tablet. Supergirl’s image appeared on the screen when she picked it up and when she tapped it, the video message started playing.

The message started with Kara looking down, as if checking to see if the message was recording before looking up into the camera. “On? Okay good. Alex, I hope you are not watching this message because you are going to kill me when I get back. Now granted you are going to want to murder me when I tell you about it later regardless of if you watch this message or not, but I hope to save you some worry. I have to go save the world. Not our world, but theirs.”

The camera turned to point at a type of orange-insectoid creature before panning back to Kara. “There’s not enough time to explain before I have to go. We’re on a time-clock here. I have to go off planet for a few days. Just know that I will return home. Please know this is for a good cause and I will come back to you. I love you, Alex.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really hoping Kate Kane shows up as Batwoman some point on the TV show. Alex is going to be holding a huge gun and asking Maggie, "You never thought to mention your ex-girlfriend is Batwoman?" 
> 
> I really love Alex and Maggie on the show, but I don't think they are are end game. Maggie always ends up with Kate in the comics. They're even married in one version.


	3. Five Days

The next five days were the longest of Alex’s life. Kara was still gone and Alex had no way of getting her back. Every minute felt like an hour.

She had gone straight to the DEO with the message. It was immediately deemed top priority. They identified the species by their appearance and technology.

“Circadians,” J’onn called out the moment he saw them. “Peaceful creatures, very friendly. Superman and I had a run-in about ten years ago. They were allies of Krypton before it exploded. It is not unlikely Kara would trust one or wish to help them.”

“Where is their planet? Where have they gone?” Alex demanded to know, her gaze already shifting to the pod Kara arrived on Earth in.

J’onn caught the look and shook his head. “They are halfway located between Earth and where Krypton stood. They are advanced species. That’s how they were able to get to Earth and back to fast. There’s no way for us to reach them or even contact them. Alex, I’m sorry. I’m afraid we’re just going to have to wait on Supergirl.”

That answer was not acceptable to Alex Danvers. She stormed out of the debriefing room and into her lab where she called Clark. Superman was equally upset to hear his cousin had gone off planet without telling him. However, like the Martian, he had no way of getting to or even communicating with the Circadians’ home world.

On the third day, her phone ringing woke up Alec up out a nap. Sheer exhaustion was the only reason she had fallen asleep in the first place. Every other moment had been spent bribing and threatening the greatest minds in the world to find a way to send a message to the Circadians. She answered her phone, hoping for news.

“Yes?”

“Danvers. Sawyer. I didn’t think you’d pick up. This was going to be my last call before I accepted I had alienated you for good.”

Alex was far too tired to open her eyes, even knowing it was Maggie on the other end of the phone call. With her sister missing, her heart just couldn’t flutter like it used too when Maggie called. That and the fact Maggie was in love with her ex.

“No. I’m sorry. I have been ignoring your calls but not because of that. It’s just been very hectic here.”

“I get it.”

Alex opened her eyes then. She could tell Maggie didn’t believe her.

“No. Really. It’s…” Alex’s voice broke. She swallowed, trying not to cry. “My sister’s missing.”

“Oh my god, Alex!” Panic and concern immediately erupted on the other end of the line. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why haven’t you told the police? We could be out looking right now!”

“No!” Alex interrupted quickly, sitting up to swing her legs off the couch. She ran her free hand through her hair. “No. There’s nothing they can do it. It’s…very complicated.”

“Oh,” Maggie replied softly. She tentatively asked, “Is it because of your sister’s night job? Well…technically anytime job?”

Alex forgot how to breathe for a minute. When she remembered, it came out as a gasp. “How did you know?”

Alex could almost hear the smirk in Maggie’s reply. “I’m a detective, Agent Danvers. I detect.”

The agent allowed herself half a laugh which sounded more like a sob. “Yes. It’s because of her other job. She left to go save the day. We can’t get in touch with her and I have no idea if she’s okay.”

“Do you want me to come over? Wait with you?”

Alex swallowed. “No, thanks. I’m afraid it’s just a waiting game at this point.”

On the fourth day, she did ask Maggie to meet her at her apartment. She ranted for thirty minutes about their lack of progress and cried in the shorter woman’s embrace for fifteen when she finally broke down. The pair settled on her couch after she cried herself out. They stayed there for hours because Alex fell asleep. She woke up with her head on Maggie’s lap and the detective stroking her arm.

“I’m sorry,” Alex gasped, bolting upright. Maggie gave her trademark soft smile. “It’s okay. You needed the sleep.”

“Did my phone ring?” She asked, reaching for it at lightning speed. She saw the screen empty of notifications as the other woman answered, “No.”

Alex fell back onto the couch, exhausted and worried beyond exhaust. Maggie clapped the other woman’s leg. “I’ll order us some food.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Imagine how upset Kara’s going to be if she comes back and see’s you like this.”

Alex’s eyes flared with anger. “Well she should be upset by how much worry she’s caused me. She should be upset and sorry. She’ll be lucky if I even talk to her after I hug the hell out of her and chew her out. This has taken years off my life, Maggie. I can’t lose her!”

The agent bit the inside of her lip as her eyes started swimming. She didn’t want to cry in front of Maggie again. Maggie put her hand on Alex’s knee. “Hey, listen to me. You aren’t going to lose her. She’s going to come back. My money is on Supergirl. Yours is too. Remember how you bet on her that night at Roulette’s?”

Alex gave a weak smile as she remembered the night. When Kara landed in the cage, all the rich socialites started calling out bets on Supergirl versus Draaga. Alex had verbally bet on Supergirl; she always did. Luckily she hadn’t had to pay up as Supergirl was beaten down. Maggie had shouted police and everyone had scrambled. Alex had held her breath as she ran up to kneel at Kara’s side. She had dropped her gun to check on the younger woman and only exhaled when Kara struggled to make a joke. “I hope too many people didn’t bet on me.”

The agent ate the soup and sandwiches Maggie had delivered. She thanked the detective for staying with her and declined Maggie’s offer to spend the night. They shared a lingering hug before Maggie left. Alex soon followed the cop out of her apartment and headed to Kara’s. She spent a few hours at the hero’s place, tiding up.

The trash needed to be taken out. The apartment reeked of days old Chinese food that she hadn’t bothered to take with her on her rush to the DEO. She opened the windows to air the apartment out and swept the floor because she wanted something to do. Alex then went back to the DEO. Alex didn’t know if Kara would go there first when she returned, but it was a good a place to wait as any.

On the fifth day at 2:23 AM, Circadia Senius and Supergirl teleported into the lobby of the DEO.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do love Maggie's and Alex's friendship. I'm glad they showed them as friends first in the show.


	4. What happened?

“Hold your fire,” J’onn shouted as a dozen DEO officers un-holstered their sidearms and pointed them at the Circadian. Supergirl held out her hands and stepped in front of the insectoid. “Please. He’s friendly. He comes in peace. His name is Circadia Senius. He said you Earthlings can call him Senius.”

“Sir, should I go get Agent Danvers?” Vasquez asked from J’onn’s side. The Martian nodded before making his way down the stairs to Supergirl’s side. The director was sure it was Kara Danvers, but there was something off about her.

Kara narrowed her eyes as she studied him. The woman brightened as if she suddenly remembered something happy. “J’onzz J’onn, Martian Manhunter, Last son of Mars. We’re friends.”

J’onn’s eyes widened and he demanded an answer for the strange reaction. “What happened?”

Senius held up his hands in peace, bowing his head. “Zor-El Kara saved our planet but in doing so she suffered some memory loss. That is why our return to Earth was delayed. We have been trying to restore her memories.”

Winn came flying out of the control room the moment he knew it was Kara in the lobby. “Supergirl! Where have you been?”

Kara took a step back when he moved to embrace her. Winn stopped, hurt by her rejection. After a moment, Kara nodded and smiled. “Schott Jr. Winn. My best friend. It is good to see you.”

“Uh. Yeah.” Winn replied. He grunted when he was pulled into a hug but accepted it all the same. He retreated when he could and stood on the sidelines, inspecting Kara like the rest of them.

“Kara!” Alex cried out from the top of the stairs. Kara turned her head to find the shouter and after a moment of study, she broke into a large grin. She was even happier to recognize the woman than she had been to recognize J’onn or Winn. The superhero opened her arms to embrace the shorter woman but even in her excitement, she made sure not to squeeze too hard.

“You dummy!” Alex exclaimed into Kara’s shoulder, not afraid to hug as tight as she wanted. “Don’t you ever do that to me again!”

Kara smiled and replied, her voice full of warmth, “It is so good to see you, Danvers Alexandra.”

A cold wave of fear washed over Alex and she pulled back quickly from the embrace. “What’s wrong?”

It looked like Kara, even felt like her, but it wasn’t acting like her. Alex sent J’onn a pleading look and the Martian moved to touch Kara’s arm. After a moment, he nodded. “It really is her. Her memory is just missing pieces and it’s very disorganized. We’ll run a full scan on her while our friend here tells us what happened. Let’s head to the lab.”

Kara reached over to take Alex’s hand in hers. After a startled moment, Alex accepted the gesture and laced their fingers together. They walked to the lab holding hands.

The bioengineer found it very hard to run scans between listening to Senius’s story and Kara looking at her like she hung the moon. She left Kara to recharge on a solar panel and gestured for J’onn and Senius to follow her outside. She focused on Senius and ordered him to start from the beginning.

“When the red sun Rao exploded, it set off a chain of events that just now started to affect my home world’s system. Our planets shifted just enough to put us in the path of a meteorite we’ve always missed. The Kryptonians had been our allies. We kept track of their remaining children. We knew of El-Kal and Zor-El Kara’s powers on Earth. We, like yourselves, have what you classify as a yellow dwarf star. Time was running out and we knew Zor-El Kara could save us by using all her strength to push the meteorite off course. We had four hours remaining to save our planet when I retrieved Zor-El Kara from Earth.”

“Kara can’t survive out in space,” Alex protested. Senius raised his hands again in surrender. He suspected it was the best course of action with Danvers Alex.

“We created and provided her a suit to move and breathe in space. Not that she needed the breathing function. Kara stated she is able to hold her breath for a month of Earth time.”

J’onn’s brow furrowed. “I’m having trouble understanding. You are an advance race. You were able to teleport halfway across the universe in mere moments. You were able to design and produce a suit for her in under four hours. Why did such an advanced race need Kara to begin with?”

Senius clicked his mandibles in annoyance. “Sometimes, J’onzz J’onn, a little force goes a long way. Building a suit is child’s work. Building a machine to provide equal power and velocity to Zor-El Kara would have taken days. We had hours. And before you ask why we didn’t foresee the meteorite, please recall we are an advanced race. Not gods. Even the mighty Kryptonians didn’t foresee their planet exploded.”

J’onn bowed his head in apology, “You are correct.”

“That still doesn’t explain her memory loss,” Alex protested.

The Circadian shrugged the best he could without human scapulas. “We realized that Zor-El Kara could use up all of her solar powers in the effort to push the meteorite away. We’ve documented El-Kal’s cases. We knew loss of memory could be a side effect of Zor-El Kara expending so much energy. We downloaded her memories onto a drive in case we needed to reload them. We didn’t know or account for the possibility that the meteorite had a strong, electromagnetic field. We didn’t consider as the meteorite grew closer that it would cause some of our servers to malfunction. One of the servers that overloaded was the one we had downloaded Kara’s memory onto. We were only able to recover half of it.”

Alex could already guess which half it was, but J’onn asked anyway. “Which half?”

“The first thirteen years of her life. She remembers everything perfectly up until she flew away from Krypton as it exploded. After that, the memories are sporadic. She does remember landing on Earth, but not much of living with the Danvers. Much of her life from the ages of 13 to 25 has been forgotten.” Senius added. “She does seem to remember more of this last year, working as Supergirl.”

“We have spent the last three days trying to restore much of what was forgotten. We showed her massive amounts of information about life on Earth so she could fit in until her natural memories return. We showed her all of her battles as Supergirl and retrained her on how to use her powers. She is the Zor-El Kara you know and love, but she will need some time to regain everything she was.”

Alex couldn’t breathe. If Kara didn’t remember the first twelve of the past thirteen years than Kara didn’t know who she was.

“She’s talking like a Circadian,” J’onn observed. “You showed her information in Circadian format. Thus why she greets the way you do.”

Senius nodded. “It was not our intent for Zor-El Kara to pick up our mannerisms. I’m sure with patience and gentle correction that she will be greeting in the proper Earth manner in a few days. Given enough time, she will be the same Supergirl who left a few days ago.”

“But she doesn’t remember me. I am her sister and she doesn’t remember me. She’s lost all of her memories of me,” Alex snapped.

Senius held up his hands in surrender again. “I’m truly sorry, Danvers Alexandra. It was not our intention for this to happen. Zor-El Kara is a great hero on our planet for the sacrificed she made. She does have some memories of you. They might not make sense and it will take some time for her to sort through them. We did show Kara information on all the people she deemed to be important. She can recognize you two, Schott Winn, Olsen James, and Grant Ms. Cat. We had several of our technicians scan all archived Earth data for interactions we could show Kara.”

“What does that mean? Archived Earth data?” J’onn asked, tilting his head.

 “Your world is being recorded and archived on your internet. We searched any videos uploaded via cell phones or security cameras to find any interactions Zor-El Kara had in the past. Even if Zor-El Kara and a companion were chatting in the corner of the video, we enhanced that portion and showed it to her. She has all the memories we could possibly give back until the day she recovers her own.”

J’onn asked for both him and Alex. “So there is a chance she will recover her memories?”

Senius nodded. “Oh, yes. It is a certainty. The memories are just buried in her neural network. The pathways to those memories were severed in the electromagnetic field. It may take months, but they will reconnect.”

Alex ran her hands through her hair. “Why her? Why Supergirl and not Superman?”

“Because Zor-El Kara remembered us. She played with our Kryptonian ambassador’s children. El-Kal knows nothing of our alliance and we did not have time for him to learn. Zor-El Kara was our best hope.”

“She is everyone’s hope,” Alex replied, feeling the exhaustion of days settling on her body. She left the pair to walk back into the lab to check on Kara.


	5. Embrace

Kara didn’t need to be recharged on the solar panel. The Circadians had easily restored her powers to what they were before pushing the meteorite off course. The superhero used the time to evaluate everything around her in a blissful moment of quiet. It was nice to no longer be bombarded with information she was supposed to remember.

“Hey,” Alex softly called out when she walked into the lab. “How are you feeling?”

Kara beamed at the woman, who according to records and scattered memories held so much of her heart. “I’m fine. Thank you for asking, Danvers Alexandra.”

“It’s just Alex,” The secret agent corrected. “You call me ‘Alex’.”

“Alex,” Kara said, trying out the name. “I like it.”

Alex exhaled a laugh. “I’m glad.”

Kara rose from the table and asked, suddenly shy, “May I ask for another embrace? Earth references showed people embracing when one returns from a long journey. I know I failed to do it properly out in the lobby. I was a little nervous about seeing you in person for the first time. I don’t want you to think less of me. I will not allow my forgotten memories to come between us.”

The older Danvers gave a confused smile as she held out her arms anyway. “You didn’t fail our hug in the lobby and of course you can have another one. You never have to ask for ‘an embrace’, Kara. Consent is given implicitly for those between you and me.”

Kara shyly smiled and moved closer. It was a complete failure of a hug.

Kara placed one hand on Alex’s hip and the other cupped her face. She followed proper Earth protocols by closing her eyes as she leaned in to kiss the other woman.

Alex’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. She wanted to pull away, to ask what in the world Kara was doing. But she couldn’t. She was frozen in place.

Kara pulled away and opened her eyes, a dreamy look causing them to look glazed. She smiled, “I’m glad I got to do that properly. I was so afraid you would be upset that I didn’t do that before.”

Alex’s mind was screaming; hundreds of thoughts bouncing around in her head from a hundred different angles. It was only her training that kept her face clear and calm. She had faced down Max Lord and Astra without showing any emotion. She could do the same for Kara until she figured out what the hell just happened.

Except Kara picked up on the lack of response and immediately became apprehensive. She covered her mouth with her hands, “Oh no. It was bad. I did that wrong.”

Alex roughly swallowed. She really didn’t have another answer than “Yes. You did.”

“I’m so sorry, Danv…Alex. I can’t believe I’m messing up our embrace for the second time! I can do better,” Kara promised. Before Alex could protest, she was pulled firmly against Kara. With their bodies flush, Kara kissed Alex again.

The last kiss had been soft. This one was determined. Kara overlapped their lips, kissing Alex’s upper and bottom lips in alternating brushes. The alien knew the second embrace wasn’t going well as she continued the kisses. She could tell it was awkward. She knew it would be going a lot better if Alex would kiss her back. But Alex wasn’t which meant it was her fault.

Kara pulled away with a cry. “I’m sorry! I’m doing this wrong. Please don’t stop loving me because I’ve forgotten how to do this. I’ll relearn, I promise.”

 "Kara," Alex said in what she hope was a calming voice. "It's okay. You just got back. You're injured in a way. All I need from you is a hug."

"Oh," Kara replied. The superhero took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. "I'm sorry. What we have between us is very important to me. I’ve felt very lost these past few days. It was only when they showed me your file of memories that I started to feel connected. It's what kept me going to be honest."

"Kara, I'm going to test your memory," The agent stated, coming up with a plan to figure out what was going on. "I just need to know some basics of what you remember. Is that alright?"

Kara nodded and hopped onto the examination table, making sure to hover before she sat. The Circadians spent many hours re-teaching her that after she destroyed most of the furniture they gave to her. Deceleration was the key to proper furniture upkeep.

"Go ahead."

"Who do you work for?"

"Grant Ms. Cat at CatCo media. I'm her assistant...No, wait. I got a promotion and she left. I work for Carr Snapper under Olsen James as a reporter."

"You have to work on saying names in the correct Earth fashion. Its title, first name, and then last name. It's Ms. Cat Grant though you call her Ms. Grant. Everyone else typically wants you to use their first name unless stated otherwise. Carr Snapper is just Snapper and Olsen James is just James."

"I will work on that," Kara solemnly promised.

"Who is your best friend?"

"I have lots of friends who are the best. Recent memories show that Sch...Winn is my best friend. But I'm pretty sure Ol...James is a best friend as well."

Alex looked away; briefly hurt she wasn't on the list. She felt like a teenager asking, "Are we not best friends?"

Kara smiled, the look on her face saying she couldn’t believe Alex would even ask such a silly question. "Of course we are, but we're so much more than that."

The older Danvers let out a small sigh of relief. She asked the next question, praying Kara didn't say Lena Luthor as the answer. 

"Who are you dating?"

She got her wish. It wasn't Lena Luthor.

Kara laughed, her face scrunching up in happiness. "You. I'm dating Danvers Alex. I mean Alex Danvers."


	6. Dating who?!

***

All the government training in the world hadn't prepared Alex for that answer. Kara thought they were dating. That explained the looks and the 'embraces'.

What in the hell had the Circadians done to her memory, she wondered.

The look of shock was apparent on Alex's face and it made Kara very nervous. She grasped the sides of the table she sat on tightly, as if her world was shifting. "Did I get it wrong? Did I say it wrong? Do we call each other lovers or soulmates? We're not engaged or married are we? I don't know what I'll do if I lost those memories."

Alex watched as the metal table bent around Kara's fists. She briefly thanked God that Kara wasn't sitting on the solar-recharging station. That station cost millions of dollars. She could afford a new examination table in her budget but not a new solar-recharging station.

Unable to see Kara on the verge of being distraught, Alex rushed to her side and wrapped her in a hug. Kara immediately released the table and wrapped her arms around Alex, holding onto what she knew. She begged, "Please tell me I'm not wrong."

"You're not wrong," Alex lied. Kara sobbed in relief and held on as tight as she dared without hurting her girlfriend.

A plan formed in Alex’s mind as she held the younger woman. Alex lied to Kara about her job at the DEO for two years. That lie had been to keep Kara happy and safe. She could lie about this until Kara's real memories returned. If pretending to date Kara kept her happy and safe then Alex would carry out the lie. 

Alex was sure there would be some confusion and embarrassment when Kara's real memories returned, but she was certain they could get past it. Until then, she would keep the embarrassing situations to a minimum by setting some strict rules about their 'dating' situation.

She pulled slightly out of the embrace when she felt she could without emotionally hurting Kara. Alex used the sleeve of her uniform to gently dab away the tears in the corners of Kara's eyes.

"We're not married or engaged," Alex said, deciding it was easier to lie with the truth. "You did say it wrong. We're not dating. We say we're soulmates."

Soul mate was a safe term for them to use without alerting anyone else to the situation. It was ambiguous. They had actually called themselves soulmates a few times throughout their years together. Usually it was something they said when one brought the other much needed food.

Kara nodded, taking the words to heart. Kara was leaning in for a kiss when a hand on her chest stopped her. Alex said, "I'd like our embraces to just be hugs for a while. It doesn't feel right to...kiss... when your memories are so scattered and out of order.”

“To be honest,” Alex added, a new idea crossing her mind. “We only just started dating. We hadn’t reached that part of ‘embracing’ yet.”

Kara looked mortified. “Oh no. That means I just ruined our first kiss. I just ruined our first kiss twice!”

Alex laughed, she couldn’t stop herself. She wrapped Kara in another hug just because she had desperately missed the other woman. “No, you didn’t ruin anything. We’ll pretend those didn’t happen.”

The superhero relaxed and allowed herself to rub circles on the agent’s back. Alex wavered on her feet; the comfort of the embrace reminding her she was exhausted.

“You need to sleep,” Kara realized. “Why don’t we go home?”

“We will,” Alex promised. “I just need to have another word with Senius about your memories.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean that's a totally normally thought process right. Your adopted sister loses her memories, thinks you two are dating, and you just agree to keep dating her because what's a few months.


	7. What is this word 'sister'?

J’onn stepped in front of the Circadian as Alex stormed out of the lab towards them. “What did you do to her!”

“I’m sorry,” Senius replied. “I do not understand your distress.”

“She thinks we’re dating!” Alex shouted. “She kissed me. We’re sisters for Christ’s sake! What exactly did you do to her!”

“I’m sorry. I still don’t understand your distress,” Senius repeated. “We didn’t do anything other than we stated. We shared all the memories we could find of you to Zor-El Kara.”

J’onn laid a hand on Alex’s shoulder before she could blow up again. “I think I understand. Senius, does your translator have a direct definition for ‘sisters’.”

The insectoid clicked his jaws together as he thought. “No. My language does not have a direct definition for sisters. The nearest verbal associations are close companion, soulmate, or partner.”

“Does your species raise its young in groups?” J’onn guessed. “You never learn about your sires or if they had other children. Is that correct?”

The Circadian nodded. In his culture there was no term for siblings because they technically didn’t exist.

“Oh,” Alex softly stated. It made sense now. Kara thought they were dating because how else could the Circadians explain their close bond? All the times they spent together, all the dinners, late night talks, movies, and cuddles. The Circadians viewed all those memories and when they showed Kara the dossiers they had complied on the important people in her life, Alex’s had been labeled mate. Kara’s review of Earth’s pop culture had translated ‘mate’ into ‘dating/girlfriend’.

“I see now there is a cultural difference that is causing you great distress. I can take Zor-El Kara back to my planet where we can try to fix the error we made,” Senius offered.

“No,” Alex firmly stated. Kara was not leaving Earth ever again if Alex had any say in the matter. Which she did so Kara wasn’t leaving.

“No,” She repeated. “It’s fine. We’ll get through it. Her memories will naturally correct themselves and this will be a joke in a few years.”

“I am glad to hear it,” Senius said, genuinely happy. “May I say goodbye to Zor-El Kara?”

Alex nodded and he went into the lab to bid farewell. J’onn moved closer to his agent and placed a hand on her shoulder. She slumped into the gesture. “She thinks we’re dating, J’onn. Kara got so upset when she thought we weren’t dating that I lied about it. I’m going to have to continue that lie for months now.”

J’onn offered, “I could tell her the truth. Take her to the training room and break it to her. She’ll be upset, but that’s to be expected. What memories she does have and how she interprets them can be expected to mean a great deal to her. But if I tell her now you won’t have to in the future.”

_“It’s what kept me going to be honest.”_ Alex remembered Kara’s words and she shook her head. She couldn’t take away Kara’s reason to keep going.

“It’s okay. I’m pretty sure I can control the situation so there will be minimal things to be embarrassed about by the time her memories are returned.”

“Won’t she be angry with you for lying to her for months?” J’onn asked. Alex smirked, allowing her anger to surface, “That’s fine. I will have had two months to prepare my little ‘talk’ with her about leaving the planet without calling me first by that time. She won’t have much time for anything.”

J’onn fought against shivering at the dark look on Alex’s face. He pitied future Kara and uttered a Martian prayer for her.


	8. What exactly do you remember?

Kara looked up at the building that housed her apartment. “I must make good money as a reporter to live here.”

Alex laughed as she turned off her SUV. They were lucky to find street parking right out front. “No. Not really. Being a reporter doesn’t pay well. You let Clark buy you the apartment as a makeup gift for all the holidays you missed together. It’s kind of a guilt-present.”

The superhero frowned as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “That doesn’t sound nice. Why would I agree to that?”

“Because my mother and I agreed you couldn’t come to National City unless you had an apartment where you could live safely by yourself. And you needed to live by yourself to avoid others discovering your powers. You accepted Clark’s gift.”

“But where did Clark get the money? He’s a reporter too.”

“Superman says he has funds from various sources but even I’m not sure what that means. You said he was friends with Bruce Wayne so he could have gotten a loan. He might have even recovered a sunken ship from the bottom of the ocean. No one knows and you never asked.”

“Oh. You’re coming up right?” Kara asked, suddenly afraid to be on her own. Alex gave her a reassuring smile. “Of course. Let’s go.”

Alex had to lead Kara to her apartment and used her key to unlock the door. Kara hesitated before entering the apartment. She gasped as she was able to connect some memories to the location. “There! We ate Thanksgiving dinner at that table. You were so nervous about your mom. Were we telling her about us?”

Alex thanked God she hadn’t been taking a sip of anything otherwise she would have done a spit take. “No. That’s not what happened. We were telling her we worked for the secret, government agency called the DEO.”

Kara nodded and wondered over to the easel where a set of paintings lay balanced around it. “I remember we bought one of these together. Down by the water right?”

“That’s not entirely correct. I mean we do take walks down by the park where the artists like to paint. You have bought some but you hung them around the apartment. You’ve painted all of these.” Alex amended.

Kara’s jaw dropped as she admired the ocean painting on the easel. “I painted these? I didn’t know I could paint. But I guess it makes sense. Why else would there be paint and brushes here?”

Alex’s heart broke a little. She wondered how many other things Kara had forgotten. The older Danvers’ spirits quickly lifted when she realized she could reintroduce Kara to everything she loved for the first time.

The alien turned her attention away from the paintings to the couch.

“And we cuddle on this couch. We have date nights right here,” Kara said, turning to evaluate the piece of furniture with a smile. Alex tried not to gawk. “Uh. Yes but we call them movie nights.”

Kara nodded, filing that piece of information away. She moved into the bedroom. Alex followed her. She tried not to blush as she found Kara staring intently at the bed.

“I sleep on the right and you on the left,” The superhero declared, happy to remember more about their relationship. Alex nodded her agreement. Kara turned to evaluate her girlfriend and her happiness faded to worry. “We should go to bed.”

“Yeah,” Alex agreed, rubbing her eyes. “I’ll be back in the morning.”

“No!”

Alex dropped her hands, startled by the loud cry. Kara tried to blink away her tears and when she couldn’t, she turned away. “I’m sorry. I mean…Of course you have your own place.  I’ll see you in the morning.”

The brunette hesitated before walking up to the other woman. She placed a hand on Kara’s shoulder and it was instantly covered by one of Kara’s.

“I can stay if you want,” Alex offered, realizing Kara didn’t want to be alone.

“Please,” Kara softly pleaded.

“Then let’s get ready for bed.”

It took some time for Kara to get ready. She didn’t know where her sleep clothes were so Alex had to show her. Luckily, the alien had watched enough Earth videos to realize how to use a bathroom and brush one’s teeth. After Kara was settled, Alex pulled clothes out of her own drawer and brushed her teeth with the kit she kept under Kara’s sink. She walked out of the bathroom to find Kara in bed, staring at a picture of them as children on the beach that she kept on the bedside table.

“I don’t remember this,” Kara said, touching the image as if it would help her remember. “I have flashes of us as teenagers. I can tell they were after I crashed on Earth. We knew each other when we were young?”

Alex saw this as her moment to tell Kara the whole truth. She went and sat down on the left side of the bed, one leg on the floor and halfway turned towards the blonde. “Yes. Kara we…”

“But we didn’t date then,” Kara persisted her train of thought, not realizing she had interrupted Alex. “I remember pieces of you coming out to me. We were in the park on a bench and then back here.”

“Yes,” Alex replied. She wondered if one day she could think on that memory and not have fear clinch her heart on how horrible things could have turned out. She still remembered almost breaking down as she told Kara, “I don’t know what I’d do if you were disappointed in me.”

 Kara’s answer had been perfect, beyond perfect. She had slept easier that night without the gnawing fear she’d lose Kara. Alex was driven from her own memories as Kara started talking about their relationship again.

“We started dating after that I’m guessing. I can’t remember anything after that. I think it’s my last memory before I left the planet.”

“Then you’re missing a few weeks,” Alex said, wondering if Kara remembered Maggie was the reason she came out. “What do you remember exactly about when I came out to you?”

Kara looked to her left as she tried to focus on the memory. She turned ready to answer before she took in Alex’s state. Kara shook her head. “No. No more talking tonight, Alex. You’re exhausted. We can continue this conversation in the morning.”

Alex hesitated, debating whether or not to push for more information. She really thought it would be best if she knew all the cards Kara was playing with so she could stack the deck in their favor.

Kara could see the calculating look in Alex’s eyes. Luckily, Kara had a few tricks up her own sleeves gleaned from Earth archives. She slid over in the bed towards Alex’s side until she was behind her and reached out to place her hands on the agent’s shoulders. Using the gentlest touch, she started massaging Alex’s shoulders.

“You play dirty,” Alex groaned as Kara’s fingers tentatively probed her tense shoulders.

“By Rao, Alex, it can’t be healthy for you to be this stressed.”

“Well I wouldn’t be if someone hadn’t disappeared for five days,” Alex snapped and immediately regretted it. Scolding Kara now was like scolding a puppy days after it did something wrong. It was cruel and useless. She really had been trying to save it all for when Kara fully regained her memories. It wasn’t easy.

The fingers on her shoulders briefly paused, but moved down to massage around her shoulder blades.

“I know you’re upset with me because I left to help the Circadians. I’m guessing you are trying not to get angry with me because I’ve lost my memories.”

Alex thought it was best not to answer that and she deflected, “You got 17 minutes to stop what you’re doing.”

Kara smirked as she continued. She felt the muscles under her fingers start to relax. “I’m also willing to guess that you are planning on holding all that anger in until my memories fully return. That’s not good for you, Alex. Tomorrow, we’ll have a real talk about everything.”

The agent didn’t respond. She just focused on how much better her shoulders felt and how heavy her eyelids were. At some point she must have nodded off because when she opened her eyes again her view had changed. The room was dark and a little cold, but she was warm and safe under the covers. She could feel Kara’s arms around her waist and her steady breaths on her neck. Later, she would vaguely recall Kara helping her under the covers and cuddling against her.

She didn’t recall Kara kissing her cheek and whispering, “I love you so much, Danvers Alexandra.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I timed these chapters just right. Because Alex's coming out scene has blown my little heart away and I have to use pieces of it in the rest of the story.


	9. About our first date

When Alex woke up she was alone in bed. It had been such a heavy sleep that she felt disoriented. She forced herself to open her eyes wide and take in her surroundings. Realizing she was at Kara’s place, she allowed herself to relax and reached for her wristwatch on the bedside table. It was a quarter after nine and she was still tired. She knew it was from accruing only 20 hours of sleep in the past five days.

The secret agent lay in bed for a few more minutes. She wasn’t worried about where Kara was because she could hear noises coming from the kitchen. She finally talked her tired bones out of bed. Alex immediately regretted the decision because the floor was cold. She hissed and went to grab a pair of fuzzy socks out of Kara’s sock drawer to put on. After suitably covering her feet, she rounded the corner of the apartment to find Kara cooking her breakfast.

Still tired and just a little grumpy, Alex complained as she went to the thermostat. “It wouldn’t kill you to turn up the heat, Kara. Not all of us have heat vision.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t even notice how cold it was,” Kara apologized, giving the pancakes in her griddle a flip. “I heard you moving around so I put the coffee on.”

Alex grumbled which Kara took as a ‘thank you’. Kara took in her girlfriend’s exhausted features and suggested, “Why don’t you take your cup back to bed? I’ll bring you some breakfast in a minute.”

Alex didn’t have the energy to argue. She put a splash of creamer in her coffee and shuffled back to the bed, sipping the cup as she walked. She placed the cup on a coaster on the bedside table and got under the covers. The agent had meant to situate herself up against the headboard but soon dozed off. It felt like all too soon when she heard Kara calling her name.

“Alex? Alex, it’s almost noon. I’m pretty sure there are only so many times I can reheat pancakes.”

Alex’s eyes shot open at the comment. Had she really fallen back to sleep for another hour and a half? She reached out blindly for her watch again. Apparently she had. She groaned as she struggled upright. Luckily, Kara was there to help prop pillows behind her.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep on you. You could have made me get up earlier,” Alex said, rubbing her eyes. She opened them as a tray was set across her lap and looked up to find Kara looking extremely pleased with herself.

"I know I could have but you needed to sleep. I warmed your coffee for you.”

Alex reached over to grab her cup and gave a moan of approval. “Superhero roasted. My favorite.”

Kara snickered and went to get into bed with her own tray. Alex poured syrup across her pancakes and leaned forward to take a bite. “These are really good for reheated. Thank you.”

The superhero beamed at the compliment. “You’re welcome. But to be honest, I didn’t reheat them. I just made a batch every hour and when you didn’t wake up, I ate them. I had to wake you up this time because I was out of flour. I didn’t want to leave while you were still asleep and cause you anymore unnecessary worry.”

Alex paused mid-bite and made a motion to put down her fork. “Kara, about last night…”

“Last night can wait until you’ve finished your breakfast/lunch, Danvers...” Kara stated, adjusting her glasses to give the agent a firm look. She had misspoken Alex’s name, but decide to end with ‘Danvers’ because it sounded like she meant business.

Alex looked mildly surprised and then laughed as she obeyed. “Yes, ma’am.”

After finishing her pancakes, Alex sighed in pleasure. She was full, warm, and getting sleepy again. “That was good, thank you.”

“How about you take a nap?” Kara suggested. “Get the rest of the sleepiness out of your system?”

“I really shouldn’t. I think I’m supposed to be at work,” Alex said, reaching over for her phone.

“J’onzz J’onn called earlier to tell you to take the next few days off while I am still on ‘vacation’,” Kara said, shaking her head in confusion. “I didn’t understand.”

Alex laughed because she did. “To save you from your boss’s wrath James told Snapper he sent you on a weeklong conference for new reporters. You had best brush up on journalism these next two days so you can have something to show for your week long absence.”

Kara nodded, already mentally Googling in her mind, “I can do that.”

“Whoa,” Alex said, lifting her hands as Kara used her super speed to take their trays away and climb back into bed within a second. Kara snuggled into the covers, “How about that nap?”

Alex rolled her eyes but her body gave in for her. She tossed the few extra pillows behind her back off the bed and slid down. Kara immediately moved over. She kissed Alex’s cheek before wrapping an arm around her stomach and laying her head on the agent’s chest. She could feel Alex’s heart racing against her. “Was that okay? Kissing your cheek?”

“Yes,” Alex answered, a lite blush rising on her face. “It’s fine to kiss me there.”

Kara lifted one hand up under the covers and started drawing patterns on Alex’s stomach. “I was thinking about how unfair it is I don’t remember our first date. I don’t remember any of our dates except for some movie nights. What was our first date like?”

“Our first date?” Alex murmured, her blush darkening. “It was very fun.”

Kara lifted up to rest her head on her elbow so she could see Alex when she talked. “Tell me about it.”

Alex swallowed, unable to think of a proper lie. Instead she went with the truth. She looked away, trying not to let her blush grow any worse. “This is very hard to talk about with you.”

“Because I’m not really your Kara?” The blonde asked.

Alex’s head quickly turned and she corrected the younger woman. “What? Don’t be absurd. Of course you’re my Kara.”

Kara shook her head. “No, I’m not. Not really. You have thousands upon thousands of memories with her. I have a few hundred. I don’t remember our first date. I don’t know where we went or how badly I embarrassed myself because I’m sure I did. I didn’t know we hadn’t kissed. …Alex, I don’t even know your favorite color.”

“Blue,” Alex smiled, reaching over to brush blonde waves behind Kara’s ear. Her bedmate shyly grinned. “You said blue was my color.”

Alex shrugged with another smile. “I happen to like it too.”

“What’s _your_ favorite color?” Alex asked, wondering if Kara’s answer would change with the loss of her memories.

“Your eyes,” Kara answered instantly. Alex froze and then heartily laughed. “‘My eyes’ isn’t a color. What kind of information about dating on Earth did the Circadians give you? Bar pickup lines?”

Kara flushed and gave an uneasy laugh. “Uh. Yeah. I guess they did.”

She rolled away from Alex back to her side of the bed. She hadn’t meant it as a pick up line. The color of Alex’s eyes really was her favorite color. She had stared at videos and images of Alex for days on the Circadians’ home planet, fascinated with the secret agent and her eyes. From a distance, her eyes looked brown but when you got closer, they were beautiful stars composed of different hues of brown and green.

Alex instantly regretted her choice of words. She really had heard that line before at a bar and had shared the experience with Kara. She thought the blonde had said it as one of the infinite inside jokes they shared. She supposed most of their jokes were temporarily gone.

Desperate for a way to make the other woman feel better, Alex went with the first crazy idea that popped in her head. She didn’t think it through. “Why don’t we go on a new first date?”


	10. Is it a date? Take two.

Alex paced back and forth in her living room for five minutes, trying to talk herself in and out of going to pick up Kara for their date. She waved her hands around. “It’s not a date. It’s not. Focus, Alex.”

“Oh god,” She moaned, covering her eyes. “Why does it feel like a date? This is so stupid.”

A few minutes later sitting at her kitchen island, Alex got the nerve to call someone for advice.

“Sawyer? Danvers.” Alex gushed. “I’ve got a problem.”

Maggie rose from her desk and went to grab her coat off the back of her chair. “No problem. Tell me where to meet you. Is it a crime scene?”

“What? No. No. It’s nothing like that,” Alex stammered. “I…uh…I have a date…with a woman…tonight.”

Maggie laughed, a side-ways grin growing on her face. “Wow, Danvers. You move quickly. You’ve only been out a month. So what’s the problem?”

The secret agent sighed. “I’m…I’m not sure I want to go on a date with her.”

The detective furrowed her brow and sat back down at her desk. “Danvers, you really shouldn’t lead a girl on if you’re not into her. Just break it to her nicely and don’t go on any dates you’re not ready for. If you don’t like her, you don’t like her.”

“No, I like her.” Alex protested. “I just don’t know if I like her like _that_. And I made it seem like I do. I’ve been leading her on. I kind of suggested the date....”

Maggie sighed. “Well it sounds like you made your bed and you gotta lie in it. Why did you lead a woman on if you didn’t want to date her?”

Alex groaned. “It’s a long story. I…I just don’t want to hurt her, Maggie. She’s a great woman and she likes me. But this isn’t going to last. In a few months, she’ll come to her senses and we’ll go back to being friends.”

“Alex,” Maggie softly stated. The agent could almost see her supportive smile through the phone. “It sounds like you are dooming this relationship before it starts. You said you were already friends and she likes you. I don’t think she’s going to change her mind about that in a few months unless you tell her you don’t want to be with her.”

“I can’t do that,” Alex whispered.

Maggie nodded on her end. “This is the first date right?”

“Right.”

“Then just go out and have fun with it. Just treat it like a night between friends where you focus on her a little bit more. See if there’s any chemistry and look at the way she makes you feel. The best case is you two figure out you aren’t a match and you go back to being friends.”

“And the worst case?” Alex asked, afraid of the answer. It wasn’t what she expected.

“The worst case is you two have a great time and you discover you really like this woman. At the end of the date, she will linger by the door.”

“What’s she lingering for?” Alex asked. She had never lingered by the door on any of her dates with men. Who lingers?

Maggie bit her lip to keep from laughing. Baby gays.

“She’s lingering for a kiss. You will have to decide if you want to go there. That’s your worst case scenario.”

Alex blushed.

“Unless she decides to kiss you first,” Maggie mused. Alex blushed even harder. Given past events, that could very well happen.

“Just go have fun, Danvers. Don’t think of it as your first date with a woman. It’s just a night out with a lady.”

“Got it. Thanks.”

“Let me know how it goes,” Maggie said. Alex made a grunt of agreement and hung up the phone. She grabbed her keys and headed for the door.

“It’s not a date. It’s just a night out. Focus.”

 

*

Across National City, Kara held up one hanger with the dress under her chin as she looked into her full-length mirror. “The red?”

She switched hands to hold up another dress. “Or the blue?”

“Red?” She mused. “Or blue?”

“Oh, I don’t know!” She cried out, tossing both dresses on the bed. “I wish I knew what I wore to our first date. I could at least copy the look.”

Kara rushed to her rack of clothes and pulled out another dress before racing back to the mirror. “Or should I wear classic black?”

She yelped in surprise when someone knocked on her door. The alien lowered her glasses and let out a sigh of relief when she saw it was Winn. She sped to the door and swiftly pulled it open. “Where have you been?”

Winn hurried inside and placed his shoulder bag on the floor. “I’m sorry. Bus’s fault. Supergirl should work on fixing public transportation in the city.”

“I’ll put it on my to-do list,” The superhero mumbled before heading back to her room.

“What’s the big emergency that I had to leave the DEO and come right here?” Winn asked, looking around to realize he was the only one there.

“I need your help,” Kara called out.

“And you always have it,” Winn promised, walking to her room. “Whoa. What happened in here? Red Tornado get rebuilt?”

“I can’t decide what to wear!” Kara pouted, throwing up her hands.

Winn swallowed a tiny hint of bitterness and asked, “You can’t decide what to wear? To wear…on a date?”

Kara nodded, still upset with her lack of confidence.

“Oh.” Winn muttered. He tried to pick the mood back up. “So what’s the problem? You’ve dressed for dates before.”

“Yeah, but none have been this important. It’s our first date, Winn.” Kara said, throwing up her arms again in frustration. “I want to look great for her.”

Winn nodded, sympathetic, and then his brain registered her words. “Wait…Her?”

The hacker covered his mouth to hide a gasp of surprise when Kara nodded again.

“Are you going out with Lena?” He asked, uncovering his mouth.

“What?” Kara asked, turning to give him a look. She shook her head before moving to her rack of clothes. “No. Lena and I are just friends.”

Winn stepped forward and waved his hands in front of himself, trying to get her attention. “Whoa. Earth to Kara. If it’s not Lena then what lady are you going on a date with?”

He didn’t let her answer before he snapped his fingers. “I got it. Is Lucy back in town?”

Kara furrowed her brow. “Lucy? Lucy Lane? No, I barely remember her. Where has she been by the way? I haven’t seen her around.”

“I was hoping you would tell me,” Winn muttered. “Her and Vasquez just disappeared off the face of the planet. I’m guessing you’re not dating Vasquez either?”

“Winn,” Kara exhaled, turning to face him. “Are you going to guess every other woman in my life before you stop playing around? You know who I’m dating. We’ve been dating for weeks.”

Winn’s jaw dropped when he figured it out. “Oh my god, Kara! You’re dating Cat Grant! That’s why she left CatCo! So you two could start dating without her being your official boss! This is mind-blowing!”

“It’s Alex!” Kara shouted. “I’m going on a date with Alex!”

Winn froze. His head turned in a few different directions as he tried to compute the information just given to him. “You mean you’re going with Alex? Like you and Alex? Period? No one else? Going on a date like you like her date?”

The alien sighed. “Yes, Winn. Date like I really like her date. I’m guessing from the fact we’re having this conversation that you didn’t know Alex and I were already dating.”

“Whoa,” He said, stepping back. “I need a drink to process that information.”

Kara followed after him, suddenly afraid of losing her best friend. “Winn?”

He grabbed one of Alex’s beers out of the fridge and twisted off the top. He gulped half of it down before he spoke. “It’s a heavy thought, but it makes sense. You were never into me because you liked her. How long have you two been dating? And if you were keeping it on the down low, why are you telling me now?”

Kara slumped. “I don’t know how long we’ve been dating exactly. My memories are all out of order, but I’m guessing a few weeks. Alex doesn’t want me thinking of the past so she suggested we go on a new first date. I’m really excited about it but I’m also really nervous. I don’t want to mess it up. I thought you would know I was dating Alex. That’s why I called you over; to give me some details on what happened on our first date. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I’m sure I had my reasons.”

Winn finished his beer before nodding. “I’m sure you did too and it’s okay. You’re telling me now. I helped pick a costume for Supergirl; I can help pick your clothes for your ‘second’ first date with Alex. Let’s go see our choices.”

Kara visibly brightened and followed Winn into her bedroom. She reminded the hacker of an excited golden retriever. He immediately rejected two of the outfits. “The black one is the one you tried to seduce James in while under the influence of red kryptonite. I don’t think it sends a good signal.”

The alien nodded and hung the dress out of the way.

“The blue one is the one you wore to Lena’s gala. I personally thought you and Lena were pre-dating that night so it might send mixed messages to Alex since she knew you wore for Lena that night.”

“Off the selection,” Kara solemnly stated, moving the dress away.   

Winn rubbed his stubble before going to sort through her rack of clothing. “This one.”

“The white one?” The blonde asked, moving forward to take it from him. “But we’re going out to dinner. What if I get spill something on me?”

“Use those super-reflexes of yours to good work and make sure that doesn’t happen,” The best friend stated solemnly. “And put your hair up in a bun. It’s really sexy that way.”

The doorbell rang and Kara gasped, turning to see who it was, “Oh god. It’s Alex and I’m not ready yet! Go answer the door and stall her for a moment. Please!”

Winn nodded, but before he could move Kara was by his side and kissing his cheek. “You are a live-savor, Winn. Thank you so much.”

The hacker grinned, rather pleased with himself as he made his way to the door.


	11. The Doorbell

***

_Twenty minutes before she rang the doorbell_

Alex sat in her SUV outside of Kara’s apartment longer than she cared to admit. She knew she was going to be late for their ‘not really a date’ date, but she couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was easier to lie to Kara about a fake relationship when she thought it was just something the Circadians made up. It wasn’t so easy to lie about when she realized there was some truth to Kara’s desires to date her.

It had all started after she asked if Kara wanted to go on a new first date. The brunette had been instantly pinned to the bed in a fierce hug. Kara’s face had been scrunched up in delight. “Yes. That would be amazing. Can we go out tomorrow night?”

Alex carefully nodded, already making plans on taking Kara around to all of her favorites in the city. Who said a date had to be a romantic date anyway?

“I’ll pick you up at seven,” The agent promised and had to smile when she got another kiss on her cheek.

It hadn’t been a hardship making Kara happy, Alex reflected. She had planned on having lots of fun for their ‘date’. She would take Kara around and reintroduce her to everything she loved and a few of the things she hated. She had planned on a fantastic night of ‘amazed’ looks and ‘eww’ faces.

Then Kara had brought up the question Alex had asked about the previous night. “You wanted to know how much I remember about you coming out.”

That’s when things went awry.

*

_The Previous Day_

Alex stopped mentally planning their night out when she heard the question. She moved to sit a little higher against her pillow. “Yes. I do want to know.”

Kara sat up upright as well. “I think I remember everything. At the park, you surprised me. I tried to understand what you were saying. I remember thinking it was so out of the blue. I thought you had never shown interest in women before.”

“I think I repressed it,” The brunette admitted. “Since then I’ve remembering moments like with Vicki. I think I had a huge crush on a few of my TAs at Stanford.”

“I knew you were repressing it,” The superhero confessed. Alex’s jaw dropped. “What do you mean?”

Kara sighed and looked away. They didn’t speak for several minutes before Kara turned to face her again. “Do you remember how you came into the apartment later and said you knew when I was sad or disappointed?”

The older Danvers nodded. “Yes. I thought you were. You acted like it. But you told me you weren’t.”

Alex then added, suddenly nervous, “Were you disappointed in me?”

Kara moved to cover one of Alex’s hands with her own. “No. I meant what I said. I could never be disappointed in you. But you weren’t wrong. I was sad and disappointed…in myself.”

“I don’t understand.”

Kara sighed. “I can’t tell you exact moments or times, but I remembered thinking that day I always knew when you liked another woman. I knew you liked Vicki. Every night you spent at her house was a night I spent disappointed in my room. Every time you liked someone else beyond a casual friend, I got jealous. I was always jealous of everyone new in your life whether it was a man or woman. I wanted to be with you. I wasn’t disappointed in you that day. I was disappointed because you realized you could like women and you already liked someone else. I was sad because you liked Maggie and you didn’t like me.”

Alex hadn’t been able to breathe at that moment. She put on a fake, understanding smile when Kara looked at her, but on the inside her mind was spinning.

“But I’m sure you already knew all of this,” Kara laughed. “It’s going to sound strange, but I felt like I was telling you all that for the first time. But I must have told you this before otherwise we wouldn’t have started dating. The last memory I have before pushing the meteorite away is playing with your hair and telling you that you were so beautiful. Did I tell you my feelings after that?”

The agent made herself nod while she continued the smile. “Yes. You did.”

Kara leaned over to wrap herself around the other woman. “I’m glad I did. I hate to think I kept it bottled up and never told you how much you meant to me. You are my world, Danvers Alex, and there is no one I’d rather go on a date with.”

*

_Ten minutes before she rang the doorbell_

Alex pounded her steering wheel as she tried to shake the thoughts from her head. She had managed to excuse herself from Kara’s apartment not long after that with perhaps the best set of lies she ever told. The last 15 hours had been prepping herself to either cancel or go through with the date. With Maggie’s help, she had made it to Kara’s. Now it was up to her to make it up the eighth floor.

“Okay,” The agent muttered to herself. “You are going to get out of the car and go knock on her door. You are going to take her out for a nice night and there will be no kiss at the end. You will continue these casual night outs for however long it takes for Kara to regain her memories. Then she will be embarrassed over the understandable mistake and you’ll both agree to never discuss this again. Deal? Deal.”

The minor pep talk gave her the courage to exit her vehicle and walk inside the building. In the elevator, she regressed. She started talking to her mirror reflection on the elevator door. “Are you insane? Kara just admitted she had feelings for you. Real feelings. This isn’t a Circadian mess-up. The woman you call your little sister wanted to date you before she lost her memory. And you asked her out on a date. Granted, you asked before you knew she really liked you, but still.”

Alex instantly quieted when the doors opened on the eighth floor. Stepping off the elevator looked even more intimidated than facing down an angry alien without a sidearm. It was one small step towards keeping Kara happy, but it was one large step into a growing spider web of lies. She knew if she got off the elevator she would be instantly tangled in a mess she may never escape.

It wouldn’t be hard to hit the button to the first floor. She’d call and cancel. It wasn’t hard to cancel a date. She had done it dozens of times with men. She’d makeup some excuse and promise to talk to Kara later. When later came, she’d tell Kara the truth and shove the past twenty-four hours of memories down so deep that…

The elevator doors started to close and Alex slammed her hand against one to keep it open. It also served to keep her upright as she staggered. She realized what she had been about to do. She hid who she really was for over a decade by shoving all those thoughts and feelings about women deep down inside. It had been easier to forget than face the truth. She had been about to do the same with Kara and she couldn’t do that again.

She thought it was ironic in some ways. Her parents had always insisted she be a role model for Kara and she always tried to be. In her desire to be the best, she had hidden away her sexuality. She had kept her real thoughts and feelings suppressed until one amazing woman had unlocked that. Only trouble with her plans was the amazing woman didn’t like her back. At least not like that.

Kara had followed her instruction. Kara had apparently been hiding her own sexuality for years. She kept her real thoughts and feelings about Alex suppressed just like she had been taught to. Alex couldn’t let either of them live that way anymore.

So she stepped off of the elevator and walked towards Kara’s door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex received her lesbian badge in over-processing in the mail the next day.


	12. Winn POA: Stage 1

_Two minutes before she rang the doorbell_

Alex hovered outside of the door before she actually pushed the doorbell. She was trying to decide on her body language.

Should she go with a nonchalant pose by putting her hands in her pockets? Should she go with a confident pose and lean against the door jamb?

She asked herself why her pose mattered, but went back to worrying about it.

Alex tried both poses but silently grumbled when neither felt right. She mentally scolded herself. "Get a grip, Alex. It's not a date."

She finally decided it was time to just ring the damn doorbell and act in whatever way felt natural.

She could hear the bell echoing after she pressed it and heard Kara’s gasp. Alex couldn’t stop the grin growing on her face. It was nice to know Kara was as nervous about their date as she was. It was with that amused grin she decided to greet Kara with when she opened the door.

“Hey, ready for our…” Her sentence froze in her throat when she wasn’t greeted by a beautiful, blonde alien but instead a tie-wearing, brunette hacker.

“Winn,” Alex greeted, suddenly in agent-mood. “What’s going on? Is Kara alright? Did we get a page from the DEO?”

She looked down at her notification-free phone and back up to see Winn evaluating her. He finally gave a pleased nod. “I’m okay with this. You sly dog.”

Alex felt more mortified at that moment then she had when she realized she had been gushing about Maggie to him. She had the right to be. He knew she was going on a date with Kara.

“Hey,” Winn called out when he was suddenly yanked out of the doorway and into the hallway. He grunted when he was pinned across the chest against the wall. Normally, he and Alex were similar heights but her heels put her an intimidating two inches above him.

“What did she tell you?” Alex whispered. “And keep your voice down.”

She didn’t want Kara hearing their conversation.

“Jesus, Alex. Calm down,” The hacker gasped as quietly as he could. When he saw she wasn’t in fact ‘calming down’, he confessed. “Everything. That you two were dating before she left and you’re re-creating your first date tonight. I’m totally cool with it by the way. I read ‘Flowers in the Attic’ once.”

Winn groaned when the pressure tightened across his chest. “Bad. Bad joke. I see that now. Alex. Please.”

He took in a deep breath when the pressure eased off of his chest. Alex removed her arm, but kept her hazel eyes firmly locked on his. “You will tell no one about this.”

“No one,” Winn promised, raising three fingers. “Boy scout’s honor.”

Alex gave him a lingering glare before she stepped away. She then cast a nervous glance back inside the doorway and tried to straighten her leather jacket. Her eyes glanced at him only once. “Do I…Do I look okay?”

Winn couldn’t keep the look of affection off of his face for the adorable, awkward woman he had seen single-handedly take down aliens before. “You look great.”

The hacker could sense Alex wasn’t at-ease with her and Kara’s relationship as Kara was. The arm against his chest bone had been a small clue. So he decided to take a different tactic. He hated to do it, but he knew it would work out for the best.

“But you should wait until you see Kara,” Winn smirked. “She’s going to knock everyone’s socks off. I wouldn’t be surprised if you two were interrupted multiple times during the night.”

Alex shifted her jaw as she worked that thought over in her head. She could imagine it happening. Someone would come over and offer to buy Kara a drink. Kara would be polite and accept. And a night that was supposed to be theirs would turn into someone else’s night.

Her shoulders slumped the more she thought about it. She could almost see the night ending with Lena Luthor stealing Kara away from their date. She would never come first for anybody.

“Guys? Where are you?” Kara called out. The blonde walked out into the hallway. She had been trying to slip on her last earring which slipped entirely out of her hand when she caught sight of Alex.

“Wow,” Kara swallowed. “You look amazing.”

Alex regained some of her confidence the longer Kara stared at her with undeniable appreciation. It stroked her ego even more when she realized Kara only could base her standards of beauty on Kryptonian women or Earth pop culture. The alien remembered only the beautiful faces of a superhuman race, she had been shown the most beautiful faces on Earth, and she was looking at Alex like she was the only person worth looking at.

Feeling rejuvenated, Alex allowed herself to look over Kara. She had to admit that Kara looked amazing. She was honestly having trouble remembering when and if Kara had ever looked more beautiful to her. Well, perhaps when Kara had woken up after nearly dying in space. Or perhaps when Kara had appeared in the lobby of the DEO after being MIA for five days. Those were equally Kara-at-her-most-beautiful moments.

Winn couldn’t take the gazing anymore and stooped down to pick up Kara’s earring. He handed it to the blonde who blindly accepted it. He excused himself to go inside and retrieve his bag. He stepped back out to find them still looking at each other.

“Ladies,” He said, clearing his throat. “The night’s still young but only for so long. Perhaps you can move it along.”

Kara shook herself out of her daze. “Oh, yes. Of course. You just look so beautiful, Alex.”

“You do too,” Alex promised.

Kara finished putting in her earring as Winn excused himself to the elevator. He didn’t mind neither woman said goodbye. Alex followed Kara inside of her apartment. The superhero promised, “I just need to grab my purse and I’ll be ready. I’m sorry I’m late. I couldn’t decide what to wear.”

“You did fine,” The secret agent promised, grateful she always carried her baton. She might need help keeping people off of the blonde tonight. Alex’s jaw firmed. She decided right then she wasn’t going to let anyone get in the way of their night. It was their date after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Winn's Plan of Attack/Thought Process (and my own)  
> Winn/Others: Alex, you are amazing and great and anyone would be lucky to have you.  
> Alex: No. I'm always second to someone. No one's ever going to put me first.  
> Winn's POA: You're right. Look at Kara. Someone is going to steal her away.  
> Alex: They probably will. Why would she want me?  
> Kara: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING! You are the most beautiful, intelligent, and strong woman to ever grace this planet. You are the sun that gives me strength. I see no one else in the midst of your light.  
> Alex: o.o Really?  
> Other person: Hey, blondie, do you want too...  
> Alex: SHE'S MINE! I'M HER SUN! BACK OFF!


	13. Appetizers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter tonight. Sorry it's out late. I promise three chapters tomorrow.

The car ride to the restaurant was quiet.

Alex tapped her fingers against the steering wheel as she tried to think of something to say. How strange was it that she could sit on the couch and talk for hours with Kara but be suddenly speechless when on a date with the woman?

Kara broke the ice. “I watched a movie on Netflix today that I had rated five-stars, but I couldn’t remember what it was about.”

“Oh really?” Alex asked, thankful to have something to talk about. “What was it?”

“An animated film called Anastasia.”

“Oh,” The agent replied softly. Out of all the films Kara had to pick, she _would_ pick the one about the girl who lost her family and then her memories.

“It was really good, but I did cry several times. Like Ana sang, there are some things that I yearn to remember,” Kara confessed. “I’m scared to go back to work tomorrow. I’ve been studying, but I worry Carr Snapper will see right through me. I wish I had my memories.”

Alex reached over to place her hand on Kara’s leg in a motion of support. “Just make sure to call him ‘Snapper’ and it will work out alright. From what you said in the past, he tries to ignore you 90% of the time.”

“I just worry about the other 10%,” Kara muttered, but covered Alex’s hand to give it a grateful squeeze. “So where are we going?”

Alex smirked, “We are going multiple places and they are all a surprise.”

The alien tried not to bounce in her seat as she felt her excitement build. “I’m so excited, Da…Alex. I haven’t stopped thinking about this moment since you asked me out yesterday.”

“I haven’t stopped thinking about it either,” Alex promised though she didn’t tell in what capacity those thoughts had been.

They drove west towards the waterfront. Kara looked out of the window as she pulled up the information the Circadians had given her on National City’s layout. “Chinatown?”

The older Danvers grinned and nodded. She found parking two blocks away from their destination and parallel parked like a government pro. They walked the rest of the way.

On the walk, Kara asked, “What did you do today?”

Alex forced a laugh. “Boring stuff. Laundry and cleaning. My apartment was a mess.”

Kara flashed to an image of Alex’s immaculate home. “I seriously doubt that.”

The brunette laughed. It was true. Her apartment would never be dirty enough by Kara’s standards to be labeled a mess. However, five days of unsorted mail and dishes was more than enough to be declared a mess by the secret agent.

“Here we are,” Alex said, reaching over to grab Kara’s arm to guide her to a stop. “Mr. Cho’s. We’re going to have appetizers here.”

Kara could feel herself radiating in eagerness. Eating appetizers at Mr. Cho’s meant there would be a different place for the entrée, dessert, and perhaps even after-dinner coffee. Those places meant a long, first date with Alex where she had the chance to make it even better than their original first date. She refused to consider the outcome where it turned out to be worse than their original one.

Kara reached over to open the door and Alex found herself appreciating the sleeveless dress as she watched the blonde’s arm muscles flex. She quickly shook that thought from her head and walked inside.

“Table for Danvers,” Alex said. The hostess checked her list and looked up with a smile. “Yes. Table for two. Come with me.”

The pair was led down a table against the south wall where the hostess set their menus down. “Your server will be with you shortly.”

Alex sat with her back towards the door, not caring about possible escape exits or monitoring the room. She had her baton and Supergirl. No one was going to get the better of her tonight.

Except perhaps herself, she realized. She couldn’t think of anything to say. The server had come and gone with their drink orders and Alex’s request one of everything on the appetizer menu. The server had seemed surprised, but nodded.

“Maybe we should just start over?” Kara suggested after another minute of silence. “Like we didn’t know each other at all and this was a blind date. Here, I’ll start.”

The blonde held out her hand over the table. “Hi, I’m Zor-El Kara. This seems like a really nice place. I’m so glad you picked it.”

The brunette took the offered hand and gave it a firm squeeze. She then teased with a twinkle in her eyes. “Danvers Alex.”

Kara didn’t catch the joke. Her mind was still deeply rooted in Circadian format.

“So, Kara, what do you do for a living?” Alex asked, deciding to go along with the idea.

The blonde leaned forward, putting her elbows on the table. “I’m a journalist for CatCo.”

“I don’t like the press.”

Kara felt her jaw drop and she sat back in her chair. “What? How can you say that?”

Alex gave a half-shrug, trying to keep a smile off of her face. “I work as a government agent. The press and I don’t get along well.”

The alien didn’t try to stop her own grin. She leaned forward again, “I’m sure that’s because you are keeping secrets, agent. Tell me something: Is Area 51 real? Do aliens really exist?”

Alex leaned forward so that they were less than a foot apart across the table. “Off the record?”

A nod in response.

“Aliens are real.”

“What are they like?”

Alex grinned, leaning back as their appetizers arrived. “They eat all the food and never share.”

“I share,” Kara protested, offended. Upon seeing Alex’s arched eyebrow she quickly amended. “I… share…because I’m…an alien from Canada.”

“That’s important first date information,” Alex teased, pulling out her chopsticks. She watched, wondering if she would have to teach Kara how to use them, but the blonde did fine on her own. Kara positioned her own sticks as she looked at all the seven different appetizers on the table. “These all look amazing. Which should I try first?”

Alex was already reaching out to take a potsticker because she knew once Kara ‘discovered’ them there would be none left for her. “Just experiment.”

They didn’t talk as they sampled the food in front of them. Kara didn’t speak because she was analyzing the taste and texture of every new food she couldn’t remember eating. Alex didn’t speak because she was watching the micro expressions on Kara’s face. She stopped eating when Kara reached out to pick up her first potsticker.

“Is this a dumpling?” She asked, examining the crinkled edge.

“Yes, of sorts. It’s called a potsticker.”

“Interesting name,” Kara mused. She popped the whole dumpling in her mouth and chewed.

Alex leaned back in her chair with a pleased grin as she watched Kara’s whole body language change. The blonde rapidly swallowed the morsel in her mouth and reached for another. “Those are like the ones from home! That was delicious, Danvers Alex!”

“I knew you’d like it.” Hazel eyes watched as all of the potstickers disappeared. When Kara finished off the last one, Alex told her about the restaurant. “This place doesn’t sell your favorite potstickers, but it’s one we eat at a lot. It’s the first place we ate at when you moved to be with me in National City. We sat here, at this exact table, and made each other promise to live our lives and have fun.”

“Are you?” Kara asked, staring intently at Alex. “Having fun?”

Alex smiled. “I am.”

The look lingered between them before Alex looked away. “Was there any appetizers you didn’t enjoy?”

Kara hesitated before answering, not wanting to offend the other woman. “I wasn’t very fond of the scallion pancake.”

“That’s because you don’t like seafood,” Alex teased, already knowing Kara’s answer. Kara laughed. “I will take your word for it.”

Alex paid for the bill despite the strong argument Kara put up against it. “Tonight is on me.”

“As long as I pay for everything on the next date,” Kara argued. Alex arched a brow. “You’re being very presumptive, Ms. Zor-El. No one said you’ve earned a second date yet.”

Kara felt a moment of anxiousness despite the fact the other woman had been teasing. She hadn’t done anything to earn another date. She would have to up her game.

“The night’s still young,” Kara promised. “I’ll earn that second date. You just wait and see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara: Challenge accepted.


	14. Entree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I lied about three chapters on Saturday. I do apologize. Only one chapter tonight, but I do truly and utterly promise four chapters on Sunday. I already have two fully written chapters after the first date, I just haven't finished the date yet. We still have Dessert and Coffee.

Alex would later call it a random impulse. When they arrived back at her SUV, Alex went to the passenger’s side instead of walking around to her own side. In a moment of old-school chivalry, she open and held the door for Kara. It was hard to tell which adoptive sister was more surprised.

"Thank you," Kara finally stated. She stole a kiss on Alex's cheek before sliding into the car. Alex tried not to blush as she closed the door. Once in her own seat she said, "Onto the entree."

The pair drove twenty minutes across the city. They ideally chatted about the Chinese restaurant as they drove. Alex wanted to smack herself for the lack of smooth conversation. She knew it was her fault.

Kara looked up at the big while building and read its sign "Napoleone’s Pizza House. I recall loving pizza."

"Who doesn't love pizza?" Alex asked, coming around the car. "I'm sure your friend Senius grabbed a couple boxes before he went back home."

Kara giggled. "They don't eat food. They process it all down to sugars and drink it."

"Sounds very American," Alex drawled. Kara had to agree.

"Very random neighborhood," Kara said, looking around. There was an Italian restaurant in front of them, a Latino barbershop behind them, and tire shops on either side of them.

"It's going to be good," Alex said. "I promise."

"I trust you."

Alex took those words to heart as she led the way into the restaurant. Kara looked around and realized they were by far the most over-dressed in the place. A few people spared them a second glance but most people were more interested in their dinners. Kara was also interested in the food. The smell was intoxicating for a normal human. Imagine the effect it had on one with super senses.

"I want one of everything," Kara insisted as they sat themselves. "Do we come here often?"

"We order out a lot," Alex conceded. The waitress came up and Alex ordered for them. "Two waters, a sausage/pep pie, and a lasagna."

Kara smiled her thanks as the waitress walked away. She asked, "Are you going to order for me every time we are out on a date?"

The brunette merely shrugged. She didn’t want to think about the possibilities of future dates and their implications.

The blonde looked around at the wooden booths and random tables with checkered, vinyl table cloths. Some tables held groups, couples, and even a few single people. The walls were covered in cartoon drawings of people with pizza in different scenes.

"You know back home where I'm from we don't have places like this," Kara said.

Alex did know. They had had similar conversations before, but she didn't mind having another one that Kara could remember. "Back home? Where's that? Kansas?"

"I am so not from Kansas," Kara jested. "I have a cousin from Kansas and I'm far superior to him."

"You are," Alex stated, honestly.

Kara blushed and looked away. "I'm not, but thank you. So anyway, back home we do have restaurants but they were never arranged in rooms like this. Restaurants had dozens of private rooms for each party or they would be in a large circle so everyone could see one another as they ate. There were street venders too, of course. They should everything. My father would often pick me up after school and we would walk home together. He'd tell me about what he learned or discovered that day and I would do the same. I would always tug at his hand and give him pleading looks so that we would stop at one of the venders on the way home. It was usually to a dessert vender. My favorite was the woman who sold...I guess the closest word you have for it would be 'slushie'. Except it came in a cone and could hold that conic form in any temperature. Father would always have one too."

"My father would do something similar sometimes. Most of the time I walked home but occasionally he'd get off work early to come pick me up. We'd always stop for ice cream and he'd ask me about my day" Alex stated with a soft smile. The old Kara would already know that and had even experienced the same experiences with Jeremiah before he disappeared.

Alex's eyes glazed over in pain when she thought about how close and far her father was to her at that moment.

Kara reflected over the dossier file of memories the Circadians had given her of Alex's father, Danvers Jeremiah. She actually had no memories of her own of him. She knew they thought he had died, but could still be alive in Project Cadmus.

"We'll find him," The blonde stated firmly, reaching over to cover Alex's hand on the table.

Alex looked away and swallowed back her tears. She confessed a horrible thought she had been keeping to herself for a long time. "What if we do and he's not the same? Do you remember what they do to their pawns? They turned that human hitman into a monster in a week. They've had my father for over a decade. What if we can't change him back?"

"Alex, no. You can't think that," Kara pleaded even though she knew it was a strong possibility. She had read the file on Cadmus too. She knew in her heart that they had turned Jeremiah into something awful. She solemnly promised. "We will get the old Danvers Jeremiah back. It may take years, but we will find a way. It took years but Mellark Peeta returned into his old self after the Capital brainwashed him."

Alex laughed roughly and dabbed one eye with her knuckle. "Mellark Peeta? Peeta Mellark?"

Kara blushed. "I may have read The Hunger Game series in a spare hour."

Alex laughed again, this one more pure and turned her hand over under Kara's to give it a squeeze. "Did you enjoy them?"

"Overall, yes," Kara excitedly stated. "But the ending was so haunting. That her children would eventually learn they play on a graveyard."

Alex had to agree though she had enjoyed the ending of the novel. It was haunting, but perfect. It was a signal of hope over the memory of despair.

Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of their dinners. One was a classic sausage, pepperoni pizza for Kara and the other was lasagna for Alex.

It was greasy looking pile of cheese and meat on top of bread. It would never win a best-looking pizza contest. But when Kara took a bite, she knew it would win the best-tasting.

"This is amazing," Kara gasped.

At least, that was what Alex thought she said. Kara was trying to talk around a mouthful of the pizza. The agent took a slice of the pizza for herself. Alex took a more modest bite after dabbing off some of the grease with a napkin. It wasn't that she minded grease; she just didn't want it to get on her clothes. Kara didn't seem to have that problem. The pizza never stayed in existence long enough between the pan and Kara's mouth to make any sort of mess.

Alex slid part of her lasagna over to Kara's plate and it instantly disappeared with a nod of approval. "You have an amazing taste in food. You definitely know the way to this girl's heart."

The agent shrugged, suddenly self-conscious. “I try.”

Kara shook her head with a smile. “You have more than tried tonight, Alex. We are only halfway through this date and you’ve already made me feel more special than anyone I can remember.”

“You don’t remember a lot,” Alex pointed out. “And in a way, I’m cheating. I’m taking you to all of your favorite places. You were bound to love them again and think you were having a good time.”

Kara reached out to cover her hand on the table again. “Hey. It’s more than that. You actually know my favorite places. You knew what I was going to love and wanted me to experience that again. Do you know how safe you make me feel? I’ve forgotten over half of my life and I’m hardly worried because I know you are here to guide me. You won’t let me fall into a mistake or misconstrue a situation. I know you’ll protect and take care of me.”

Any fun or happiness Alex had felt during the evening died in that moment. Kara trusted her to keep her and her memories safe and she was propagating a lie. It didn’t matter that the lie was to keep Kara happy.

“Kara, there’s something I have to tell you,” Alex said, pulling her hand away. It was time to tell her sister the truth.

Kara frowned and her blue eyes widened in worry. “I’m listening.”

Alex took a breath. “Okay. First thing’s first. You know that I came out because I was interested in…”

“Maggie,” Kara stated.

“Yes, Maggie Sawyer. And she…”

“No,” Kara interrupted. She nodded behind Alex’s back. “Maggie. I think your friend just walked in.”

Alex spun around in the chair so fast that Kara had to wonder if Alex didn’t have some superpowers. Indeed, Maggie Sawyer had just walked into the pizza house and was chatting with the hostess at the checkout counter. The detective’s eyes looked around the building until she met panicked hazel ones.

Maggie grinned when she caught sight of a blonde, suspecting it was Alex’s date. She didn’t get a good look at her because Alex excused herself to walk over. Maggie frowned. “It’s not really nice, first-date behavior to leave a good-looking woman and walk over to another woman in the middle of said date.”

The detective tried to shift a little to get a better view of the woman, but Alex slid into her line of sight again. The cop laughed. “Jesus, Danvers. I’m not going to steal her. I just wanted a look at her.”

Alex tightened her jaw. “What are you doing here?”

Maggie held up her hands in surrender. “Calm down. I’m just here to pick up some pies for the station. This place is one of the best.”

“Here you go, Detective Sawyer,” The hostess said, proving Maggie’s story as she placed four to-go pizzas on the counter. Maggie handed over a set of bills, “Keep the change.”

Alex allowed herself to relax and she felt ashamed of her attitude. “I’m sorry. I…don’t… this isn’t going well. I can’t seem to figure out how to talk around her. I’m not acting like myself.”

“You’re just nervous,” Maggie said, reaching over to clasp Alex’s shoulder. Neither woman noticed Kara’s narrowed eyes at the gesture.

“I promise it’s just the first date jitters,” Maggie stated. “I told you to act like it was a night on the town. That still stands. Just be yourself. That’s all she wanted to begin with or she wouldn’t be interested in you.”

The detective squeezed Alex’s shoulder before letting go. She grabbed her pizzas and said before turning to leave, “Don’t over think this, Danvers. Tomorrow is for over-processing. Tonight is about having fun.”

Alex nodded dumbly and turned to go back to her table once Maggie was safely out of the building. The detective was even polite. She didn’t double back to check out Alex’s date. She knew she would find out who it was later if the couple worked out.

The agent sat back down in her chair to find an extrospective Kara in place of a worried one. Alex knew by the look on the alien’s face that Kara had heard every word.

“I’m sorry,” Alex apologized, looking away. Kara shook her head. “No. I’m the one who is sorry. We’re doing it again.”

Alex looked back. “Doing what?”

“Making everything about me,” Kara admitted. “This whole night has been about me. That’s why you’re so worried. I asked for the second-first date. I let you do everything to prepare. Most of the conversations have been about me. This isn’t going to create a, good environment for a real relationship.”

Kara leaned forward so she had Alex’s full attention. “So that’s going to change. I know you have dessert planned out, but I would really like if we could go somewhere neither of us have gone. I want us to be equals in this experience.”

Alex smiled. “How about we compromise? We still pick up the dessert I had planned, but we go somewhere new together to eat it?”

Kara beamed. “I can live with that. And Alex?”

“Hmm?” Alex replied, her attention focused on the check the waitress left for them. She left a proper tip of 20%.

“You shouldn’t be nervous. I really think this date is going well and I have a feeling it’s about to get better,” Kara pledged. Alex looked up to see a twinkle in Kara’s eyes and wondered what the superhero had up her sleeves. It would be interesting to see since the woman wasn’t wearing sleeves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex is like a Katy Perry lyric. She's hot then she's cold. She's yes then she's no. She's out then she's in. 
> 
> What do you think Maggie will do when she finds out who Alex's date was?


	15. Dessert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so much easier to think and write after during the day then after midnight :D
> 
> Regretfully, no desserts were harmed in the making of this chapter.

“Whatever they sale, I want ten of each,” Kara firmly stated as she and Alex walked into the bakery. Kara never thought a bakery would be open so late, but this one was. And everything smelled incredible.

“You’ll have to wait and see what you get,” Alex teased. “I’ve already ordered. I’ll just go pay for it.”

Kara nodded and stayed at the display case near the door, eyeing all the different types of cakes. She could see by the price tags that this was probably not a bakery she was able to afford eating at much on the salary of a reporter.

“Kara?” A questioning, feminine voice asked. Kara glanced at the woman who had just entered the shop and gave her a quizzical look. She smiled when she recognized the dark-haired woman. “Luthor Lena. It’s so good to see you.”

Lena grimaced at the use of her last name and returned Kara’s quizzical look. “That’s a strange way to greet me. Is everything alright?”

Kara’s eyes briefly widened in panic. “Yes. Of course. Everything’s fine. It’s…I …I was reading this book earlier about difficult cultures and how they say last names first and I’ve sort of been doing that all day. I’m sorry, Lena.”

Lena smiled affectionately. “It’s quiet alright.”

Kara made a motioning gesture. “What are you doing here?”

Lena’s smile widened and she moved closer as if to tell a secret. “Well after we came here together last week, I’ve been addicted. I dropped by for a chocolate éclair.”

“Those sound amazing,” Kara stated, the smell of the shop getting to her. Lena’s smile briefly faltered. “Well of course they are. You introduced me to them.”

“Right,” Kara beamed, trying to hide her mistake. “I know. I was just thinking they would be amazing right now.”

The CEO relaxed. “You know, I’m free for the rest of the evening. How about I buy us a dozen and we go off and talk? We really haven’t gotten the chance to truly get to know one another yet.”

Neither woman noticed Alex listening in on the whole conversation as she waited at the register. They also didn’t notice her slide her baton out of its hiding spot and reluctantly put it back up as soon as it came out.

“That sounds great,” Kara admitted. “But I’m on a date right now. How about next week?”

Lena ignored the question in lieu of the comment. She tried not to let her jealousy and disdain show. “You’re on a date? I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”

Alex quickly snagged the bakery box handed to her and thrust a set of bills back at the server. She needed to get back to Kara before she said anything else. “Keep the change.”

“Hey,” Alex asked, sliding up beside Kara. “Are you ready to go?”

Lena turned to evaluate Alex and then relaxed when she realized who Kara’s ‘date’ was. She laughed. “Oh. It’s Alex. I thought when you said…never mind. I’ll call you next week, Kara.”

Alex didn’t bother hiding her displeased look as Lena walked away. That woman had never acknowledged her except when she was saving her life. The obvious infatuation she had on Kara didn’t help Alex’s opinion of the Luthor either.

“Hey?” Kara asked softly, touching Alex’s arm. “What’s wrong?”

The agent shook her head as she realized her worst worry of the night had just happened and it hadn’t turned out like she thought. Kara had stayed with her.

“Nothing. It’s just…you could go with her if you wanted.”

Kara gave Alex a look that asked ‘Are you insane?’ “You and I are on a date, Danvers Alexandra. I hope you haven’t forgotten that.”

Alex laughed as she shook her head. “No, I haven’t. I just wanted to give you an out if you needed one.”

The blonde shook her head. “No. I don’t need one. There’s no place I’d rather be than right here by your side, Danvers Alex.”

A small piece of fear that felt like ice on Alex’s heart fell away at Kara’s words. She beamed. “Then let’s go. You did want us to walk down to that park with the merry-go-round.”

“It should be fun,” Kara said, eagerly. “So what’s in the box?”

 

*

“What’s in the box?” Kara begged for the eleventh time, bending a little at her knees in her plea.

Alex shook her head, grinning from ear to ear. “Not telling. And you wouldn’t be saying that line if you remembered watching the horror film ‘Seven’ with me. Now, you wanted your cake and to eat it too so you are just going to have to wait until we get to the park. You did pick it out as the place we should go.”

Kara stopped in the middle of the street. “You know I can just x-ray it if you don’t tell me.” She started to raise her hand towards her glasses.

Alex moved into Kara’s personal space and used her free hand to catch Kara’s. “No, you won’t.”

Kara found it suddenly very hard to remember what they were even talking about with Alex inches away. She forced herself to focus. “And how are you going to stop me, Danvers Alex?”

The agent smirked. “Because if you don’t play nice, you won’t get a second date.”

Kara bent her knees again with a whine and a pout, but she nodded. Alex took the moment to lace their fingers together as they continued towards the park.

 

*

“You never said we had to get on the Merry-Go-Round,” Alex complained as she mounted up on a handsome, yellow horse while balancing her bakery box. “This is what you had planned wasn’t it? I thought we were just going to watch.”

“Who just watches a Merry-Go-Round?” Kara asked, mounting her own pink, horse side-saddled because of her dress. She patted its solid mane. “I’ve wanted to do this after watching the Earth film ‘Mary Poppins’.”

Alex laughed. “You do know they aren’t going to come off the carousel right?”

She tried valiantly not to laugh at the mildly disappointed look on Kara’s face. The blonde had had the tiny hope that the horses could come off and ride away.

The brunette couldn’t deny it was fun as they rode around with the lights. Kara whooped as she held onto the poll as the horse when up and down. She giggled. “I don’t think these things were meant to be ridden like this.”

“If either of us is in a dress next time, we’ll get one with a seat,” Alex promised. Kara grinned when she realized Alex was promising another date. Kara knew they were be future dates, they were already dating after all, but it was nice to hear Alex say it.

After the ride, they went to sit on a nearby bench to watch. Alex decided it was time to open the white box and showed Kara the twenty-four treats inside, two of a dozen types.

The alien’s eyes lit up like she had been shown her the secret to the universe. “These look amazing.”

“From what you told me in the past, there are ten types you like and two types you don’t,” Alex explained. Kara gave her an incredulous look. “I hardly believe I have met a dessert I didn’t like.”

Alex merely grinned. “We shall see then.”

The older Danvers made a show of splitting one of the treats and handing half to Kara. The blonde eagerly took a bite and moaned. “I don’t know what it is but I love it.”

“Chocolate éclair,” Alex told her. Kara nodded, inhaling the rest. She could see why Lena said they were amazing.

They continued their taste testing. Kara discovered she loved lemon squares, but disliked the passion fruit tart.

“It’s just…” Kara fought for a way to explain. Alex patted her knee. “It’s okay. You’re allowed to dislike things with no justification.”

Kara accepted the words because she had the same reaction when she tried the mint Oreo cupcake. It just wasn’t to her taste. “But I like Oreos, I like mint, I like chocolate, and I like cupcakes. I should like this.”

“The heart wants what it wants and doesn’t what it doesn’t,” Alex said, putting on a sage-accent. Kara groaned and bumped shoulders against the other woman. The next treat was a half a cruller.

“By Rao, this is amazing. I will marry you in his name if you give me the other one right now.”

Alex handed it over with a faint blush across her cheeks. “No need to go that far.”

Kara disregarded the sentence as she inhaled the other cruller and licked her fingers after she was done. “This is by far the most amazing date I’ve ever been on. I don’t know what our first one was like, but I have a feeling this one is better.”

Considering there had never been a first date, Alex couldn’t disagree with the statement. “Yeah, it is.”

 

*

“Do you want to go get some coffee?” Alex asked as they walked back to her vehicle from the park. Kara hesitated in answering. She didn’t want the night to end but she was also eager for the end activities of the date. Eager, excited, and nervous.

“Don’t make any noise and give me your wallets,” The mugger said, holding a large knife out between the two women. Both ladies gave him a flabbergasted look. Kara even asked, “Are you really serious?”

“Yes,” The man snapped. “Not stop playing around.”

Kara could only shake her head. She lazily half-rolled her head to look at Alex. “Do you want this one?”

A dark smirk crossed Alex’s face and something about the city lights made her eyes look black and sinister. The mugger adjusted the knife in his sweaty palm. He really thought this would be an easy score.

“Hold this,” Alex ordered, giving the box to Kara. “This won’t take a minute.”

The superhero had complete faith in Alex and regarded her duty as protector of the pastries as sacred. She carefully held their leftovers as she watched Alex quickly disarm the mugger and kick him into the alley. After ten seconds of watching and fifteen seconds of almost leering, Kara made herself focus on something else besides Alex’s strong and graceful body. The box made a poor substitute, but she gave it her full attention.

“Danvers Alex?” Kara called out, flipping open the white lid of the bakery box. “Can I have the last lemon square?”

“Seriously, Kara?” Alex asked, slamming their would-be mugger against one of the alley’s buildings. “Are you asking me that right now?”

Kara glanced up and gave a brief nod when she saw Alex had to situation under complete control just as she thought. She reached in to pull the lemon square out of the box.

“Don’t even think about it,” Alex called out. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her mugger had an accomplice who was trying to creep up on her in the shadows. She waited, palming her baton, until he was in reach. She drew her arm back hard, flicking the baton open and swung at his knee. He screamed and fell to the ground.

“I’ll only eat half,” Kara promised, already taking a bite. “They’re just really good.”

“Damnit, Kara. There had better be half of it left when I get over there. Not a third, not two fifths, a half!”

The alien did stop after she ate her half. It was a close thing, but Alex was already zip-tying the guys together. The alien did wonder who carries zip ties on a first date.

Alex sent a text to local law enforcement and stalked back over to Kara, her blood racing a little from the small scrimmage. She walked into Kara’s personal space and only stopped until the bakery box was the only thing between them, pressing against their stomachs. Kara still held the lemon bar aloft in her hand.

“My lemon bar,” Alex ordered. Kara smiled as she completely disobeyed the order. “Tisk, Tisk. That’s not very polite. What’s the magic word?”

Alex’s eyes briefly flared in indignation, “I just saved my date from muggers. I think I’ve more than earned my half of the lemon square.”

Kara made a noise that sounded like reluctant agreement and she moved the square towards Alex’s mouth. Alex reached up to take it from her, but Kara quickly pulled it away. She pursed a corner of her mouth in mild annoyance. “I can feed myself, Kara.”

“Yes, but in my review of Earth Protocols, it is customary for the damsel in the distress to feed her heroine the first bite of her half of a lemon square.”

“That’s an oddly specific Earth Protocol,” Alex drawled. Both women knew she was calling Kara a liar. The alien persisted with the ruse. “I know. You Earthlings have strange customs, but I, Zor-El Kara, am determined to uphold them.”

“Fine,” Alex relented. “Just one bite.”

Kara beamed as she brought the square back towards Alex. The older Danvers felt a little ridiculous about the whole situation. Two tied-up, unconscious muggers were behind them, the cops were on their way, and she was standing still with her mouth open waiting for a bite of lemon square.

Kara didn’t find the situation ridiculous at all. She found it rather warm. She knew that wasn’t a proper adjective for the situation, but it was what she felt as she watched Alex bite off a piece of the square. She watched as lips close to chew and swallow and a tongue briefly slide out to lick some of the powdered sugar on her lip.

“Yep. Right,” Kara said, suddenly panicked. “Protocol complete. Here you go.”

They almost dropped the remainder of the square between them in Kara’s rush to hand it over and back away. Kara started walking a few steps ahead, taking deep breaths as she tried to push what she had just scene out of her mind.

“Kara, wait up!” Alex called out. Kara thought she was walking, but her lack of control made it a super-walk. She was halfway down the block when Alex called out. She sheepishly stopped and waited for the other woman to catch up.

“What’s up?” The agent asked once she was back by the blonde’s side. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Kara lied, trying to infuse enough pep into her voice to make it believable. Alex saw right through it and merely arched a brow as she waited for the truth.

Kara sighed as she glanced away. She nervously swallowed. “I…I really wanted to kiss you back there. But I know Earth Protocols state I have to wait until we are back at my place.”

“Oh,” Alex gasped. In hindsight, she realized her question had been a stupid one. Of course their actions had been provocative and that her ‘date’ would find them so. Even she couldn’t deny it had been an intense moment.

But Alex didn’t focus on those thoughts. She focused on the thought that Kara expected a good night kiss. She was contending with the fact that her first kiss (first three kisses actually) with a woman would be with her adopted sister. As they walked back to her SUV, she was already considering angles and body positions to make it the least awkward, first kiss for both of them so that Kara wouldn’t get upset now or in the future when she regained her memories.

The thought of not kissing Kara never crossed Alex’s mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luthor Lena jealous. Danvers Alex jealous. Why not run into Grant Ms. Cat and have her get jealous during coffee? And Zor-El Kara is oblivious during it all.


	16. Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coffee was hurt in the making of this chapter.

“Do you want to get some coffee?” Alex repeated once they were safely back in her SUV. She wasn’t really thinking about coffee though. Her mind was trying to comprehend the physics of upcoming kiss.

Kara fidgeted with her seatbelt. It felt too tight across her chest. “I have coffee back at my place.”

Alex’s jaw dropped as she looked over at the blonde. Kara caught the look and immediately blushed. “What? Oh! No! I didn’t mean it like that. I mean…maybe one day… I really meant we could drink coffee and just talk back at my place.”

The agent wanted to laugh, but her throat seemed to be frozen. She pointed the car in the general direction of Kara’s apartment. It took them twenty minutes to get back to the building, and they had to park a street over.

Kara slowly let her seatbelt slid into its holder as they sat in the park car. She cleared her throat. “So…are you coming up? For coffee?”

“Yes,” Alex replied, her voice sounding hoarse. She was so worried about doing the kiss right.

They walked the block over to Kara’s building. The blonde pulled her keys out of her tiny purse and hesitated. She blushed. “I know you’re coming up…but Earth Protocols said the door…”

Alex swallowed and wet her lips. Kara was fidgeting and lingering. Maggie had told her that her date might linger. That meant their date had been her worst case scenario. They had both had a fantastic time and now Kara was lingering for a kiss.

The secret agent had a moment of terror when she wondered if she should be the one to instigate the kiss. Did she have to be the one because she was the most butch dressed that evening? Was this a rule in the rule book? Alex made another mental note to find the lesbian rule book. The idea of the book went out of her head when Kara took a step towards her so they were mere inches apart.

Kara leaned forward, tilting her chin down, and closing her eyes. It was up to Alex to do the rest.

Damnit, Danvers, she scolded herself. Get a grip. You’re acting like this is your first kiss ever.

In a way, it was a first kiss. It was her first kiss with a woman where it was up to her if she wanted to partake in the event. She wiped her sweaty palms on her pants and mentally nodded to herself. She could do this.

Alex had been leaning in for the kiss when her phone started beeping. It was the ringtone from headquarters; one she couldn’t ignore.

“Supergirl, report to the DEO.” J’onn’s voice filled Kara’s ear through her communicator at the same time as the phone went off.

Blue eyes shot open and the blonde groaned. “You have got to be freaking kidding me.”

She tapped her ear. “Yes, sir.”

Kara then sighed. “That was probably a message asking you to come in. Just our luck huh? To be continued?”

The blonde turned to fly away. She had to change out of her dress and into her super-suit before reporting to the DEO. A hand on her arm quickly turned her around. “No.”

It was on Kara’s lips to ask ‘no, what?’ when Alex’s hands cupped her face and pulled her in for a kiss. Kara’s eyes closed as she leaned into it. She had been right. Kissing was so much better when Alex was into it. She felt Alex’s thumb stroke her cheek before they gently leaned away.

“Wow,” Alex softly gasped. That had not been what she expected their first kiss to feel like. She hadn’t expected her heart to start beating out of her chest or to feel strangely out of breath. And why on God’s green Earth were her lips slightly tingling? Was that a side-effect of kissing a Kryptonian? The brunette’s mind was whirling in thoughts as she lowered her hands off Kara’s face.

Kara grinned. “I have been wanting you to do that.”

Alex was saved from having to reply as Supergirl took off into the sky. She let out a long sigh. “Oh boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a reverse Maggie/Alex kiss but I couldn't help myself. Maggie and Alex did have an awesome kiss even though it didn't go the way Alex wanted.


	17. The Second Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tacos were harmed in the making of this chapter, but no Taco Bell.

_Nine days later_

“Hey,” Kara smiled as she walked into the DEO headquarters wearing her Supergirl outfit. She walked over to kiss Alex’s cheek, a compromise the two had settled on for public displays of affection. That compromise had been made an hour after their ‘second first’ date back at the DEO.

“I brought you lunch.”

“Thanks,” Alex smiled. Kara had brought her lunch every day she worked since their first date. She had worked eight out of the nine days since that date. Most of the time Alex wasn’t able to stop and eat with her, but Kara didn’t seem to mind. She always brought along her lunch in case they could eat together and left if she couldn’t after giving Alex another kiss on the cheek.

They had never been actually alone or on another date since their first one. The new Cadmus monster of the week was keeping them really busy. Alex didn’t know how Kara was handling her day job and going out to fight every night. Yet the blonde still made time to bring her lunch.

The lack of privacy meant there had also been no more kisses on the lips.

Internally, Alex was confused. Kara had been so much more attentive since they started ‘dating’. Not that their friendship/sisterhood wasn’t fine before. They used to meet for lunches, dinners, and movies nights more days than not. They spoke daily and even texted frequently, usually about an exciting or funny moment.

Yet Kara had never stopped to make sure Alex ate a proper lunch every, single day. Kara had never randomly texted to check up on her or just to say ‘I was thinking of you’.

Their relationship really hadn’t changed except for the increased displays of affection and Kara making sure that their conversations did not revolve around herself or Supergirl. Since Kara’s realization during their pizza dinner about how most of their relationship revolved around the blonde, she had been trying to make sure that didn’t happen again.

Alex had to wonder if Kara was reading self-help blogs on how to be a good girlfriend. She was reluctant to admit they were really helping Kara and their relationship.

Her own emotions added to her confusion. How could she be happy by the girlfriend treatment while feeling horrible about propagating a lie that was going to cause Kara so much embarrassment in the future? How could she be so excited and nervous about the thought of a second kiss?

The Cadmus monster of the week had honestly been a mixed blessing for Alex. It allowed her to focus on something other than how she felt during the kiss. It also meant she was avoiding processing it.

“I actually can take a lunch break today,” Alex added. Kara lit up at the thought and then slumped when she remembered she had other obligations. “I’m so sorry, Danvers Alex, but Carr Snapper ordered me to go check out a story. It’s actually really important. They want to tear down a park on the Upper East Side for a new mall, but people are protesting. I have to get over there.”

Alex was disappointed she wouldn’t get to spend her lunch with Kara. She had been looking forward to seeing the blonde all day. She found herself offering, “How about I drive you to the park?”

Alex mentally slapped her forehead. Kara was only going to reply she could fly.

Kara smiled, “I have a better idea. Why don’t _I_ drive us to the park while you eat your lunch?”

Alex decided to put up a fight even though she was already mentally agreeing. She crossed her arms. “You know there is a strict no eating rule in my SUV after someone got chili-cheese on my floor mat.”

The alien laughed. “Which is why said someone will not be eating in your car but driving you around. Come on Alex, let’s go for a drive.”

Alex relented with a smile and handed over her keys. If the garage security guards thought anything of Supergirl driving Agent Danvers’ SUV out of the parking lot, they said nothing about it. Once out of site of the building and away from cameras, Supergirl stepped out of the car to whirl around. Kara Danvers got back inside. She adjusted her glasses as she refastened her seatbelt. “So which one is the brake again?”

The agent rolled her eyes as she chewed her sandwich. After she swallowed, she said, “It would be more humorous if you hadn’t just driven us out of the DEO. You have a class C, M, and E license thanks to the DEO, Kara. You’re not fooling anyone.”

“One day, me and Bertha will hit the open road,” Kara said in a dreamy tone. Alex rolled her eyes again. Bertha was Kara’s imaginary semi-truck.

“I’m sure you two will be very happy together.”

The trucking industry would be pretty lucky to have Supergirl, Alex reflected. She could unload trailers by herself and eat all the junk food she wanted without health issues. She could even fly after she ran out of the driving miles.

“So how was your day?” Alex asked.

Kara shared a little bit about her day. Most of the main events involved her Circadian mannerisms. She had lied to everyone that it was a habit she picked up at the conference she went to. No one seemed to believe it, but they allowed her habits to continue without protest. Except for Snapper. He criticized everything she did. She was still surprised he gave her this story.

After the blonde finished her little tale, she debated asking if there was any new information on Cadmus. She decided against it. So instead she asked, “Do you want to go on another date once we get this monster all settled?”

Alex almost joked on a French fry and she coughed it up. “Uh…yeah. That’d be fun.”

Kara leaned over to gently probe Alex’s arm with her elbow. “And remember, it’s my turn to buy.”

“A date on _your_ budget?” Alex mused, rubbing her chin. “I suppose I haven’t been to Taco Bell in a long time. The dollar menu sounds interesting.”

It was Kara’s turn to roll her eyes as she signaled to change lanes. “Hilarious. I can afford a higher class of fast food than Taco Bell. Not that there is anything wrong with it now that I think about it. I might have some for dinner.”

Alex shivered. Only an alien stomach could handle such food. She remembered the late nights in college consuming the cheap meals. It had been delicious and often, regrettable.

The agent finished the rest of her meal when they were five minutes out from the park. “That was very good. Thank you for bringing me lunch.”

The agent reached over into her console to grab the tin of mints she kept in there. She popped two into her mouth and offered the tin to Kara. “Mint?”

Eyes still on the road, Kara held out her hand. Alex deposited two into offered palm. Kara laughed as she put them in her mouth. “Two, Alex? I don’t think my breath is that bad.”

“You never can tell with alien breath,” Alex solemnly stated. “You never know how your powers will develop.”

Kara rolled her eyes as she kept driving. A few blocks away from the park, she spotted an open space and pulled in. She could walk the rest of the distance. “You are most welcome for the lunch by the way.”

She unfastened her seatbelt and she leaned over to kiss Alex’s cheek. However, at the same time Alex turned to face her. That is how an innocent kiss on the cheek turned into their second kiss.

It started off a peck on the lips, both woman backing away an inch in surprise. Kara had barely opened her lips to apologize when Alex moved back in to kiss her again. Her bottom lip was nestled between Alex’s and she closed her lips to seal the kiss.

The pair slowly pulled away. An inch away, Kara decided she wanted one more for the road and leaned back in for a quick kiss. Alex leaned into it only to be surprised when Kara immediately drew away.

“I’m sorry,” Kara apologized. “I have to get to the park. I feel like I’m giving you mixed signals; always kissing and running.”

Alex forced a laugh. “Don’t worry. I’m not getting any mixed signals from you.”

Kara smiled and got out of the SUV after handing Alex the keys. She gave a wave before disappearing in a crowd. Alex stayed in the passenger seat for a few minutes as she thought about what had happened. She was right about one thing. She knew exactly how Kara felt about her. Any mixed signals were coming from Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Alex is overdue for some processing.


	18. Winn POA: Stage Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that makes four chapters today. Phew.

Kara adjusted her cardigan as she evaluated every woman in the cell with her. “Hi. I’m …Kara.”

An older woman, an illegal prostitute if Kara had to guess from her clothes, laughed as she took in Kara. “Kara huh? Sounds fake. What are you in here for, blondie?”

“Daddy’s attorneys not answer fast enough when you got busted with drugs?” A Latina woman asked, moving closer. Kara evaluated the tattooed tear drops under her left eye. She thought about complementing them, but decided she should probably keep to herself.  Some of the other, rowdier women weren’t going to allow that.

“She said, what are you doing in here, bitch?”

Kara sighed; it was going to be a long afternoon.

*

_Earlier that morning_

“So where do you want to go to lunch?” Kara asked, half turning as she held onto Alex’s hand as they walked. It was the beginning of their third week of ‘new’ dating. Alex had finally agreed on a second date. It was decided to be a lunch date.

Alex felt comfortable enough to hold hands in public. People who knew them would shrug it off as them being sisters and people who didn’t would assume they were dating. Alex never thought to worry about other people having a problem with it simply because they were women.

“Fucking dykes!”

Alex’s shoulders stiffened, knowing instantly they were referring to her and Kara. A small part of her was tempted to let go of Kara’s hand and shy away. To give into social demands and not make a scene. That part of her was overridden by the badass in her that didn’t give a fuck what any piece of trash said. She squeezed Kara’s hand. “I’m thinking Thai food. There’s a place around the corner.”

Kara, who had spotted their hackler, returned her attention to Alex. She forced a smile. “That sounds good. Let’s go.”

Alex saw the stress on Kara’s face. “Hey. Ignore him. He’s nothing.”

“Supergirl wouldn’t stand for this,” The superhero gritted through her teeth. Alex sighed. “Supergirl is not here right now. It’s just me and you on our way to lunch. Just let it go. I’m sure I’ll hear this and worse the rest of my life.”

Alex’s words did nothing to sooth Kara’s anger. If anything, she made it worse. So when the piece of trash said his next line, it really shouldn’t have been a surprise that Kara snapped.

“Like she said, blondie, move along. Maybe your faggot girlfriend can munch you later.”

“Kara, don’t!” Alex shouted.

Kara moved across the sidewalk where the guy had been standing near a doorway and punched him. She did nothing to expose herself. She pulled her power back to normal level, just enough to bruise his jaw. The superhero just hadn’t counted on him falling backwards and through the store’s glass door.

*

“And that’s how I ended up here,” Kara explained, crossing her legs as she sat on one of the wooden benches. “The storeowners called the police and I’m being detained for assault.”

Carry, the probable illegal call-girl, patted her shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, blondie. It’s your first time. I’m sure they’ll get the other guy to drop the charges and the owners won’t fuss if you pay for the door.”

“Your girl,” Angela asked, a woman in for a DUI. “Why hasn’t she busted you out yet? You got your free call right?”

Kara bowed her head and nodded, feeling very sad. She had called Alex, but she had been sent to voicemail every time. She had asked the officer to look in her cell phone for Hank Henshaw’s number, but when dialed he also declined to take a call from an inmate at National City Jail. The same thing had happened when she called Winn.

She knew Alex was mad at her. That had been very obvious when Alex shouted at her in front of the growing crowd. “They’re going to take you to jail and you’re going to sit there until you realize what you just did.”

After the scolding, Kara had gone meekly along with the police officers who came to arrest her and the guy she had knocked through the door. The cops actually felt really bad for her and patted her shoulder. “She’ll come around. Women take some time to cool off.”

The blonde didn’t know who else to call. Alex was refusing her calls. J’onn and Winn were probably refusing her calls under Alex’s death threats. She couldn’t dare call Clark, Ms. Grant, James, or Lena in her current predicament. She was too ashamed about how she lost her temper to face them.

*

Winn looked at his phone when it rang on top of his desk at the DEO. Alex glared at him. “Don’t you even think of answering.”

“But she’s in jail, Alex,” Winn protested. He felt like he had to stand up for his best friend no matter how deadly the situation. And it was a very deadly situation given the death glare he was currently receiving.

When Alex wasn’t looking, Winn slipped away. He called the National City Jail and left a message for the officer in charge of giving detainees phone calls.

*

“Danvers,” The guard called out. “A guy named Winn just called and said to try Eliza Danvers.”

Kara gulped and several women gave her a confused look. “Who’s that?”

“My girlfriend’s mother,” Kara sighed. A resounding groan of sympathy echoed in several of the detained woman.

“Sorry, Blondie. The mother-in-law? That’s going to be rough,” The tattooed Latina acknowledged.

Kara nodded and was released from the cell to make her call. Somehow Winn had known Eliza was in National City for a conference. She was a little shocked to find out where Kara was being held. She promised to come bail her out, but Kara could sense a future scolding in the back of Eliza’s tone.

Thirty minutes later, her name was called to be released. She was escorted to the front where she saw an unhappy Danvers Eliza waiting for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex may or may not kill Winn when she finds out he gave Kara the idea of calling her mom.


	19. Lockup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you are still very iffy about what Alex did. I do agree it was completely out of character for her. I was trying out a few scenes in my head and went with it. I may decide to rewrite the past few in the long run, but I think I'll play it by ear. 
> 
> Hopefully I can show you how the action of Alex letting Kara go to jail really was true to a side of her deep and complex character in this chapter and the next few down the line.

“Training room,” J’onn ordered Alex. “Now.”

She reluctantly followed. If it were just training and the opportunity to punch something, she’d be eager and ready. She knew this training session was going to be a lecture. And if she was honest with herself, it would be a much deserved one.

They never got around to physically training that day. Once in the secure room on the platform, J’onn crossed his arms. “Agent Danvers, I consider Supergirl to be part of this team. That means I have an agent out of commission. I ignored her calls out of respect of whatever argument you two may have had, but I thought you would have left to release her hours ago.”

“She’s only been in there three hours,” Alex stated, crossing her own arms. “I spent longer in National City Jail the night I met you.”

“Is that what this is about? Are you hoping Kara will learn a lesson if you leave her there? Just like you did?”

The agent worked her jaw around. She couldn’t deny that was part of her reasoning for leaving Kara in lockup. She argued, “Do you not realize what she could have done in that situation? She could have killed him! She could have revealed herself as Supergirl! She’s supposed to have better control! She risked everything just to punch some asshole who couldn’t keep his mouth shut!”

“Kara with all of her memories might have learned a lesson in lockup,” J’onn pointed out. “Alex, this Kara is more like the one who landed on Earth 13 years ago. She’s not going to learn any lesson. All she’s going to know is that the people she loves left her in jail for defending the woman she cares about. No one here can believe you are allowing her to stay in there. They think it’s a classified, undercover operation. In what world would Alex Danvers leave Kara Zor-El alone and cut off from the ones she loves?”

Alex was determined not to break down crying.

J’onn continued. “As a soldier and a leader, I do understand. If any of the other agents pulled the stunt Kara did, bringing attention to themselves and our organization, I would be busting their asses so hard right now after letting them stew in lockup. Our work is important and you can’t risk everything for the personally satisfaction of punching a jerk. So I get why you are upset with her. But you need to figure out what’s really bothering you.”

Alex ground her teeth. She didn’t want to think of the real issue.

J’onn lowered his voice, “Alex.”

“I’m mad at myself,” She forced herself to admit. “I’m irritated with Kara but I’m really angry at myself.”

“You’re more than angry, Alex. You hate yourself,” The Martian observed. She nodded; it wasn’t something she could deny.

J’onn hesitated. He knew she wasn’t ready for his next comment. He couldn’t predict how she would react. She could cry, run away, or attack him. But it needed to be said.

“You hate yourself because of your feelings for her.”

He watched Alex tighten her jaw as she wrapped her arms around herself tighter. He walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’s alright.”

“No it’s not,” She denied, her voice cracking as she tried not the cry. “She can’t be with me.”

J’onn moved so that he was directly in front of the other woman, placing him in her line of sight. “Alex, there is nothing wrong with having feelings for Kara. There is also nothing wrong with taking your time to figure them out. Kara has felt that way about you long before she lost her memories, but that doesn’t mean you have to rush into the same feelings. You may discover you don’t feel the same and that’s alright.”

Alex nodded, unable to speak. The Martian made an educated guess about what really was bothering Alex.

“Alex, the term ‘sisters’ is just an Earth construct you and Kara decided to use. She lived in your house, she needed an identity, and adopted sister was the easiest and least complicated title. You do not share blood.” J’onn stated.

“Did you know that my wife, My'ria'h, came to live in my household when I was a child? The white Martians killed her parents and as part of being in same tribe, my family invited her in. It was annoying, sharing things with her at first but over the years I grew to love her. I suppose some of the endearment could have been defined as sibling-affection, but that affection is usually derived from the fact you like a person as a friend. My’ria’h was my friend long before we fell in love. I do not regret any moment with her. I don’t believe you would regret any moment with Kara if you took the chance.”

“It’s not…that,” Alex confessed. She amended the statement, “Well, not entirely that. J’onn, my life has been about protecting Kara. I gave up everything for her; to keep her safe. I didn’t want to start this ‘fake’ relationship because I knew it would cause her pain in the long run. I never…expected to feel things while pretending.”

She rubbed her eyes before continuing. “I still don’t know what I feel. I know it’s something. I can’t deny that any longer. The past few weeks have been confusing and great at the same time. It was just so easy to go along with the relationship. It didn’t feel like pretending. So I decided to stop acting like it was. I decided to go along with it. Just to see how it felt and take one step at a time. So today, I agreed to go out with her again. I agreed to hold hands.”

“Today proved that I should put an end to everything about our real and fake relationship,” Alex stated firmly, squaring her shoulders. “Today proved being with me is not safe for Kara. Holding my hand was the reason that guy started harassing us. I was so stupid, J’onn. So naïve. I thought it would be okay to walk around in public like that. I thought…”

“Hey,” He interrupted. “It _was_ okay and you are not stupid for wanting to hold hands. Love is not stupid. That is no reason to end things with Kara before you even got a chance to start.”

“But it was my decision to ignore the guy. I didn’t want draw attention to myself, to us, and that’s why she stepped in.”

J’onn reached over to squeeze her arm with a laugh. “Alex, Kara stepped in because that’s what Kara does. Do you think for a moment the situation would have gone differently if he had been harassing another couple on the street in front of her?”

Alex had to shake her head, briefly smiling. “No. However, she would have tried to talk to him first before punching him.”

“I’m sure that comes from her lack of memories and her amount of feelings for you.”

A frown resumed on Alex’s face. “I’m serious, J’onn, about ending things. I can’t be what Kara needs. She needed me to stand up to that guy. She needed me to stand up for her. She needs someone who isn’t freaking out about being in a relationship with her. J’onn, I almost let go of her hand today when that guy shouted at us. She doesn’t need someone like that by her side.”

J’onn shook his head. “You are very confused, my friend.”

Alex pulled away to throw up her hands in frustration. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Kara needs to find someone else. I barely just figured out I like women. I can’t handle figuring out I like my sister! What we have isn’t going to work so it’s better to end it now.”

The Martian had heard enough. He went over and wrapped his arms around Alex who immediately fell into his embrace. She started to cry into his shoulder. “I’m not what she needs, J’onn. I’m not. I’m just going to hurt her.”

“Is that why you left her in jail? Do you want her to see you are just going to hurt her and abandon her in the end? So it’s easier to break up with her?”

Alex only cried harder as a response. She hated herself for leaving Kara alone. She hated herself for knowing she had hurt Kara and would continue to hurt her in the future. And most importantly, she hated herself because she knew she couldn’t stop what they were doing despite what she had just said.

J’onn held her as she cried out everything she had been keeping bottled up inside for the past few weeks: lingering thoughts of inferiority, fears of coming out, and utter confusion about Kara. She pulled away, breathing in broken pieces.

He half-smiled. “I think it’s time to go bail out our renegade agent out of jail.”

Alex pulled in a deep breath and nodded, wiping away her tears. “Yes, sir.”

“And take the rest of the day off. You don’t have to spend it with Kara, but you definitely need to sort through some of this.”

“Yes, sir.” She softly agreed again. He left her in the training room.

Alex pulled in a few more deep breaths before pulling out of her phone.

“Sawyer? Danvers.”

“Danvers,” Maggie grinned on her side of the line. “Are you calling to ask me out for a drink to tell me how that date went?”

Alex blushed. “Uh…another time. I actually called to ask you a favor.”

“Name it,” The detective declared.

“My…sister Kara Danvers is down in lockup. She got into an altercation. Do you suppose you could go bail her out and sweep this off the record for me? I would owe you big time.”

Maggie grinned, already leaving her desk to go to the lockup area. “Are you sure this is in my jurisdiction? Wouldn’t a member of the FBI run such a case?”

The agent dug the tip of her boot into the training mat. “I’m never going to live that down am I?”

“Nope.”

“Will you do me this favor?” Alex begged. “Please.”

“Already on it,” Maggie promised. She put the phone to her chest as she talked with the cop at the desk. After a moment, she put the phone back to her ear. “Well it seems Kara Danvers has already posted bail and left.”

“Who bailed her out?” Alex asked, walking out of the training room to head towards her car.

“Any relationship to an ‘Eliza Danvers’?” Maggie asked, looking at the clipboard on the desk. There was a complete moment of silence. “Alex? You still there?”

“Yes,” Alex stated which sounded more like a pained groan. “That’s my mother.”

The detective winced in sympathy. “Ouch. Well I’ll try my best to clear up the charges on this end. Good luck with that. Call me if you need me.”

“I will,” Alex said, truly meaning it as she hung up. However, she had the feeling that no authority on Earth was going to save her from whatever was coming next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And what lessons did you ladies learn today?  
> Kara: Don't let my temper get the better of me.  
> Alex: Don't let my temper and fear get the better of me.


	20. The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to 'Endless' for Eliza's descriptor of Alex's behavior.

Kara and Eliza didn’t speak as they took a cab back to Kara’s apartment. There was an unspoken understanding between them that Kara would explain once safely in private.

As soon as the door closed to Kara’s apartment, Eliza tossed her purse aside and placed her hands on her hips. “Explain.”

Kara took in a deep breath, “Well it started about four weeks ago when an alien showed up in my apartment and asked me to leave Earth to go save his world. So I…”

Eliza held up her hand. “Pause.”

The younger blonde clicked her mouth shut and watched as Eliza went to her wine rack and selected a bottle. She rattled around in one of Kara’s drawers for the corkscrew and popped open the bottle. Only after she filled a wine glass to the brim and took a seat at the kitchen table did she say, “Continue.”

“So I went with them. They needed me to push a meteorite out of the way. I…”

“Pause,” Eliza firmly ordered again. Kara tried not to give an exasperated sigh. The older woman rose from the table and picked up the bottle she left on the kitchen island. She had a feeling she was going to need it. She sat the wine beside her at the table and took a seat again. “Go ahead.”

“They are called Circadians. They built me a suit…”

Half an hour past as Kara told Eliza everything and didn’t leave out a single detail. Her dossier file on Eliza Danvers said she was a woman Kara trusted and who helped care for her when she first landed on Earth. She also felt comfortable with Eliza so she couldn’t imagine there wasn’t anything she would keep from her. She told Eliza everything.

“He said these horrible things that I won’t even repeat and I couldn’t control myself. I walked over and punched him,” Kara explained. She quickly added when she saw Eliza’s look of worry. “No, no. I punched him with the strength of a normal human. But he fell through a door. He’s okay, but they called the cops. Danvers Alex was furious. I’ve honestly never seen her so mad. She let them take me away. She wouldn’t answer my calls and no one else at the DEO would either so…I called you.”

Kara braced herself for the scolding she was going to receive about losing her temper. She knew she deserved it, but it still didn’t make it easy to hear. The alien didn’t realize that the part about her going to jail was suddenly the least interesting part of her story.

“So,” Eliza started, speaking slow to think of the proper words. “You and Alex are dating?”

“Yes,” Kara answered equally as slow. Shouldn’t Eliza already know that? Had the half bottle of wine gotten to her memory?

“And Alex is a lesbian?”

“Yes,” Kara answered again, slightly more afraid than confused. Eliza had to know right? She and Alex were dating. Surely they had told her that.

“And you two are dating?” Eliza asked again, wanting to make sure she got that part correct.

The blonde gulped as she nodded. Oh, Rao, she didn’t know! Kara had just outed Alex and herself to Eliza. Alex is going to kill me!

The bioengineer refilled her wine glass and took a sip. “Alex is a lesbian and you two have been dating for months. Are you also a lesbian?”

“Bisexual.”

“So Alex is a lesbian, you are bisexual, and you two have been dating for months and this is the first I’m hearing of it?”

The alien cleared her throat. “Well…you see…I’m suffering from memory loss and I just assumed you already knew.”

“Well I didn’t know,” Eliza snapped. “Do you know how it feels to discover the two people you consider to be your closest family can’t tell you something as profound as their sexuality or dating life?”

Kara shook her head. Eliza swallowed. “I thought…I know our relationship wasn’t perfect. I was always hard on Alex. I wanted her to be better than me. And I never truly developed a real relationship with you either. I always gave you praise and comfort even when I should have given you critique and firmness. I know our relationships weren’t perfect but I still thought you both would tell me something so profound to your lives.”

The superhero hesitantly reached over to cover Eliza’s hand on the table with her own. She relaxed, slightly, when Eliza turned her hand to grip it. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why Alex didn’t told you about her sexuality once she figured it out nor can I remember why I never told you about mine. I suppose we were afraid of disappointing you. I’m also sure that’s why we didn’t tell you about us.”

Eliza sighed. “I must confess I never foresaw you two in a relationship. I…do have some concerns. But I think now is not the time to express them.”

Kara nodded. “I understand.”

The older woman took a deep breath. “Since we aren’t going to focus on that matter, let’s refocus on why I had to bail you out of jail.”

The superhero pulled her hand away as she tried to sink further down in her chair. “If we must.”

“Kara, you are not ordinary. You know that, missing memories or not. You cannot behave in such a fashion. While that situation called for action, it did not call for that one despite what it felt like in the moment.”

The younger blonde tried not to pout. She liked it better in lockup. Everyone there had been on her side. She had even promised to go out to lunch with a few of them once they all got released.

“I was defending myself and Danvers Alex,” Kara stated. “And he’ll think twice before he talks about any women again.”

“Will he?” Eliza asked, giving the other woman a hard stare. “Do you think you’ve changed his mind about female couples? All you may have taught him is to stand a little further away or to carry a weapon.”

Kara slightly paled. She hadn’t considered that. “But…”

“Kara, I’m not saying that will happen but individuals such as him that thrive on attention. You gave him some. Now perhaps he learned his lesson and he never hackles anyone again. What would you have done if he had cut himself as he fell through the glass? What if there had been a child walking out of the store behind him? There are so many scenarios where today could have ended horribly wrong for you, Alex, Supergirl, the DEO, or other aliens.”

“I didn’t consider anyone other than myself or Danvers Alex,” Kara admitted. “I should have. Do you think that’s why she wouldn’t bail me out?”

Eliza took another sip of her wine before answering. “I can’t begin to comprehend what’s going on with my daughter in this situation. Leaving you in lockup and having others refuse your calls is very startling, mean, and out of character for Alex.”

Kara had thought all of those things but hearing someone else say them made her feel very defensive of her girlfriend. “In fairness, I did deserve to be arrested. I did assault a man and damage private property. I shouldn’t have a get-out-of-jail-free card because I’m Supergirl or because Danvers Alex works for the government. Anyone else would have gone to jail.”

“But she left you there,” Eliza pointed out. Kara sighed. “Yes, that is the strange part.”

She leaned forward, suddenly worried. “Do you…think she’s having second thoughts? About me and her?”

Eliza pinched her brow. “I didn’t even know there were first thoughts, Kara, so I’m not sure I can give a helpful reply.”

Kara leaned back against her chair. “Of course.”

The older blonde sighed. “I suppose if I place myself in Alex’s shoes, I can slightly comprehend why she did it. Part of the reasons we’ve already discussed. She probably thought you needed time to reflect and learn a lesson. However, there is more to the story. There always is with Alexandra.”

Kara nodded. “I guess I need to talk to her.”

“Hmm,” Eliza agreed, taking another sip of wine. They both turned to look at the front door when the heard a knock.

“Kara?” Alex called out. “Are you in there?”

Eliza pointed at the door, but Kara was already standing to go open it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have to admit, Kara is very privileged for an illegal alien. As J'onn pointed once, she gets away with a lot for looking like a blonde cheerleader.


	21. White Wine

“Hey,” Alex softly said when Kara opened the door. The blonde gave her a tentative smile in return. “Hey.”

The smile shifted into a frown when she noticed the redness around Alex’s eyes. “Were you crying?”

The brunette looked down. Kara watched her swallow before nodding yes. The blonde stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind her. Eliza could wait a few moments. There was still a third of the wine bottle left.

“It will be okay,” Kara promised even though she had no idea as to why Alex had been crying. She moved forward to cup Alex’s face and gently brushed a kiss across her lips. She gave a wisp of a smile when she felt Alex lean into the kiss. The superhero leaned back and placed a kiss on Alex’s forehead before pulling her in for a hug. Alex immediately wrapped her arms around her. Kara pressed a kiss to the side of her head before asking. “Why were you crying?”

“Because I’m an idiot,” Alex mumbled into Kara’s shoulder. Kara leaned back in the embrace and reached to tilt the brunette’s chin up. “Hey, that’s my girlfriend you’re talking about. You had better be careful about what you say.”

Alex tried and failed a smile. “So we’re still dating?”

Kara gave her an incredulous look. “Are you kidding? Of course we’re still dating. Danvers Alex, we had a mild disagreement over how to take out a piece of trash. That’s hardly anything to make a fuss over.”

“How about the part where I let you go to jail and didn’t bail you out?” Alex asked. Kara shrugged. “That is probably something we should talk about at some point. You not-bailing-me-out part anyway. I did deserve to go to jail.”

Alex swallowed her lingering worry to deal with later and cracked a smile. “Did you make any friends?”

Kara’s blue eyes lit up. “Actually, I did…But before I tell you about them, you probably should know Eliza is in my apartment.”

The agent squared back her shoulders. “Yes. I figured she would be. How much did you tell her?”

The blonde hesitated. “…Everything.”

“Everything?” Alex repeated. “Like…everything?”

“Everything that has happened from the moment I left Earth to go help the Circadians,” Kara explained.

“So everything,” Alex whispered in horror. Kara nodded. “I didn’t know she didn’t know. I didn’t…I don’t remember. She kind of kept repeating the fact that you’re gay, I’m bisexual, and we’re in a relationship together.”

“That’s a lot of everything,” The brunette gasped, pulling out of the embrace. She went to go lean against the wall. “Anything else I should know?”

“She’s had two thirds of a bottle of wine,” Kara offered. She turned and lowered her head to see over her glasses. A quick glance with her x-ray vision had her correcting her statement. “Actually, about four fifths of a bottle.”

“The red or the white?” Alex asked. Kara blinked in confusion. “The red.”

Alex nodded. That meant the white was still there and she could get through this. “Okay. I’m ready to go talk to her.”

 "Hey," Kara said, holding out her arms. "Come here."

The agent hesitated for a heartbeat before stepping into another embrace. Kara hugged her as tight as she knew she could. "We're ready to go talk to her; not just you. We're in this together."

"Together," Alex promised. She pulled away after a moment and braced her shoulders. This would be perhaps the most terrifying encounter she would ever have with her mom. It was time to be brave. She walked into the apartment ready to face whatever her mother threw at her.

Mother and daughter met eyes when they walked through the door. There was a long moment of staring between them with Kara awkwardly shifting her feet off to the side. "Guys?"

"Is there something you wish to tell me, Alexandra?" Eliza asked.

Alex's jaw tightened at the use of her full name. "Mom, I'm gay. I like women."

Her mother's look softened. "I know. I knew long before Kara told me earlier."

The agent felt her knees buckle and Kara placed a hand on her elbow to help keep her upright. "What do you mean you knew?"

The older blonde shrugged. "You were never interested in guys, at least not like other girls when you were younger."

"What are you talking about?" Alex argued. "I was always trying to get with the most popular or attractive boy in school. That's what Kara and I were doing at the beach that day I was injuried in the car explosion."

"You got hurt in an explosion?" Kara interrupted, suddenly worried. "When? Are you alright?"

The brunette turned to give Kara an affectionate look. "It was a long time ago and yes, I'm fine. You can hardly see the scar."

"It left a scar?" Kara gasped, moving closer. "Where is it? Let me see."

Even though the scar was in a completely decent area, the idea of showing Kara almost made her blush. "Later."

Eliza watched the interaction with an arched brow. Kara's memory loss was very obvious as was her daughters’ feelings for each other.

"Back to your question, Alex," Eliza said. "I think you did that because it's what you thought I expected of you. Once you dated the most popular boy, you would inevitably break up with him in a few weeks. You were more interested in spending time with your female friends than your boyfriends. Vicki Donahue comes to mind."

Alex went to open a bottle of white wine at the comment. It was one thing for her to remember having a crush on Vicki; it was another for her mother to know it.

"Kara, would you be a dear and go get us some dinner?" Eliza asked. "And go get it at normal speed please."

Kara hesitated. She had promised Alex they were in this together. Eliza noticed the hesitation. "Kara, please. Alex and I need to talk and it will probably be easier if you aren't here."

"I'm not going if you are going to come down on her," The superhero protested. "Alex and I are in this together. I'm not going to let you blame any of this on her."

Eliza raised a brow. "Is there anything that anyone needs to be blamed for?"

Kara paused. "Well...no."

"Then I can't blame her can I?" The mother asked. The alien had to nod her head in agreement.

Alex softly exhaled a laugh. Kara had been nicely backed into a corner. She said, pouring a glass of wine for herself. "It's alright, Kara. We'll be fine."

Kara looked between the two Danvers before nodding. She sulked as she went to get her coat and wallet. She didn't like being left out of the conversation. Alex laid a hand on her arm to stop her as she walked by. "Hey. We'll be alright. I promise."

The blonde almost leaned over for a kiss, but realized Eliza probably wasn't ready to see that. Instead she smiled and covered Alex's hand with her own before leaving. She was out of the building before she realized she hadn't asked what they should have for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara's going to go pick up some food. Do you also know who picks up food? Detectives who know Kara was in jail earlier that day.


	22. Swedish Crepes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish crepes had been hurt in the making of this chapter.

The superhero decided on comfort food for all three of them. She needed comfort and she was certain the pair of Danvers would need something to combat the bottles of wine in their stomachs. She went to Aunt Emma’s Pancakes. It was like the International House of Pancakes but so much better.

Even though she promised she would go get dinner at the normal speed, she assumed that meant fly to the restaurant, order and wait for the food, and then fly back as opposed to order first and then fly to go get it. So the former is what the superhero did and she waited in the sitting area of the busy restaurant after placing her order.

“Kara? Kara right?” A voice asked her. Kara looked up from reading the latest CatCo magazine she had found in the lobby to see who was calling her name. It took a moment for her to place the short, Latina woman. She smiled when she realized who it was. “Detective Sawyer?”

Maggie grinned and held out her hand. “I don’t think we officially have met. Despite Alex calling me Sawyer, please feel free to call me Maggie.”

“Maggie,” Kara repeated, shaking the offered hand. “What are you doing here?”

The detective smirked and arched a brow. “What am I doing in a pancake house?”

The reporter blushed as she pushed her glasses further up on her nose. “Right. Of course. Silly question.”

Maggie waved it off. “Hey, let me go check on my order and I’ll be back to talk.”

Kara nodded as she watched the other woman walk away. She looked down at herself and straightened her blouse. She carefully set the magazine off to the side and immediately picked it back up when she couldn’t decide which looked better. Alex really cared about Maggie. Kara wanted to make a good impression on Alex’s friend.

The detective came back empty handed. “They said it would be about ten more minutes. That leaves us some time to talk if you want.”

Kara patted the empty seat next to her on the bench she was sitting at. “Sure. What do you want to talk about? Pancakes are a nice topic. Crepes are also a safe conversation. I really love the Nutella ones here.”

“The Swedish ones are also nice,” Maggie stated, accepting the chosen conversation. She laughed as Kara almost melted at the dish’s name.

It was funny how she couldn’t remember Alex being in an explosion but remembered eating everything off of the entire Aunt Emma’s menu. “I know right! Who doesn’t love cranberry butter and powdered sugar? What do you think of the coconut waffles?”

“Not a big fan of coconut,” The detective admitted with an apologetic smile. “But…”

After a moment, Kara prompted, “But what?”

Maggie shook her head. “Oh. It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” The blonde pointed out as kindly as she could. “We don’t have to talk about it though.”

The detective pursed her lips. “Did…Alex tell you why I turned down the opportunity to date her?”

Kara adjusted her glasses in confusion. She had no idea what Maggie was referring to. She remembered Alex coming out and mentioning she liked Maggie. She didn’t remember Alex saying Maggie turned her down. The alien didn’t have memories of what happened after Alex came out but she had assumed, and Alex had confirmed, that Kara had confessed her feelings for the brunette. Then they had started dating.

Knowing she was missing a piece of the puzzle, she lied. “She told me you turned her down but not why.”

“Probably to respect my privacy,” Maggie mused. “Anyway, I realized I couldn’t date Alex because I still had feelings for one of my ex-girlfriends, ex-fiancée really. Her name was Kate.”

“What happened to her?” Kara asked. Her sad eyes met Maggie’s and she laid a comforting hand on her leg. Maggie startled and then laughed. “No, no. I’m sorry. She’s not deceased. I just meant…anyway, she’s alive. We’re just not together.”

The blonde pulled back her hand with an embarrassed blush. “I’m sorry.”

Maggie waved off the apology, “No. Really, it’s my fault. What I was going to say earlier but decided not to was that Kate loves coconut pancakes.”

Kara gave her a quizzical look. “It really does sound like you still have feelings for her.”

“I do,” Maggie agreed.

“Then why don’t you tell her that?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Is she seeing someone else?”

“No…I don’t think so,” Maggie said, tilting her head in confusion over where Kara was going with the question.

The alien shook her head. “If I still had feelings for my ex-girlfriend and she wasn’t with anyone else, I would tell her that.”

Maggie snorted. “And do you have any experience in telling ex-girlfriends that.”

Kara adjusted her glasses. “Ah, no. I can’t say I do. I’m hoping to keep the one I have.”

Dark eyebrows shot up Maggie’s forehead in surprise. “You have a girlfriend?”

Kara nodded. A laugh was forced out of Maggie’s chest. “Wow. You’re gay too?”

“Bisexual,” Kara corrected. Maggie laughed again. She then teased, gently elbowing Kara’s side, “Your poor mother.”

A curious and confused look from blue eyes was her reply. “What do you mean?”

The detective smiled. “You’re bisexual and Alex is a lesbian. Some people would say your mother has it rough.”

Kara shook her head. “Alex and I don’t share a mother. My mother passed away.”

Maggie paled slightly in the horror of realizing her mistake. “Oh, Kara. I’m so sorry. I…”

The blonde waved off her reply. “No, it’s alright. You didn’t know. It happened when I was a young. I lost her and my father at the same time.”

“I’m sorry,” Maggie repeated again, her heart going out to the blonde. Kara nodded.

“I’m sorry for the confusion too,” The detective added. “I just thought Eliza was your mother when she came to bail you out earlier.”

Kara blushed. “Oh. You know about that?”

Maggie smiled in sympathy. “Yeah. Alex called and asked me to bail you out. However, your mom…I mean Eliza had beaten me to it. Don’t worry though, I fixed it for you. It won’t go on your record.”

The reporter frowned. “It’s not that I’m not grateful, but I wish you hadn’t done that. I broke the law.”

Maggie snorted. “Yeah, I read the file and yours. You don’t even have a speeding ticket, Kara. The National City Police can let you off with a warning.”

“It doesn’t feel right,” Kara protested. “I feel like I’m getting off because of what I look like and who Alex knows.”

The detective had to admit she was pleased Kara knew and checked her privilege in that moment. Not many people would realize how lucky they were.

“To be honest, you are only getting off because of who Alex knew,” Maggie admitted. “So take advantage of this moment of kindness and never let it happen again. No punching anyone who doesn’t try to attack you or someone else first.”

“Yes, detective.”

“Sawyer? Your order’s ready,” The hostess called out, lifting a large bag.

Maggie retrieved her order and went back to stand in front of the blonde. She said after looking in her bag to make sure everything was there, “It was really nice officially meeting you, Kara.”

“Likewise,” Kara beamed. “And once again, I know it’s not my business but perhaps you should call your ex, Kate.”

Maggie rolled her eyes. “Maybe. Maybe she’ll want to get back together and maybe it will be perfect this time around. We could go on double dates with you and your girlfriend.”

She turned to leave and only caught Kara’s reply as she was headed out the door. “Alex and I would love that.”

The door closed as she stood outside, trying to comprehend what she had just heard. It sounded like Kara said her girlfriend was Alex. Alex’s date _had_ been a blonde that night…

Maggie shook her head. Alex had specifically said Kara was her sister. Not biological sisters apparently, but still sisters in some way. She must have heard Kara wrong.

Though she did wonder if perhaps she had heard Alex wrong instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In tomorrow's chapter, the ultimate battle of red wine versus white wine will begin.


	23. We might need another bottle

“Please come here,” Eliza said, gesturing to the chair beside her. When she saw her daughter hesitate, her look softened. “Alex, please.”

Alex mentally scolded herself. What was it about being with her family in this apartment that made her scared to sit and talk? She had done the same thing with Kara by the couch. She grabbed her glass in one hand and the bottle in the other before moving to the table. Once there, she focused all of her attention on her glass, gently twirling the stem between her fingers.

Eliza didn’t say anything for a few moments. Finally she said, “Kara told me a lot today. So much in fact that I think we should only focus on perhaps a third of what she said.”

“Mom…” Alex started, but her mother interrupted her. “No, Alex. Please. Let me finish. Before this conversation goes any further and whatever either of us may say, I need you to know that I love you.”

Eliza slid her glass aside and reached over to take one of Alex’s between both of hers. She waited until her daughter looked at her and she could see a shimmer of tears Alex was trying so hard not to release.

“Alex. I love you for who you are. I know I was tough on you in the past, but I never pushed you about your love life. You never mentioned anyone so I always assumed you were obsessed with your work like I was when I was your age. It never occurred to me that you were struggling with your sexual identity. I just always hoped you would find someone as amazing as your father was to me. And I never cared who that person would be as long as they loved you and you loved them.”

Alex held her breath. “Did you really know…about me?”

Thumbs stroked the back of her palm. “I had my suspicions. There are moments in every child’s life that leaves a parent wondering who they would grow to love. Alex, I’m so sorry you couldn’t tell me. I’m sorry if I ever let you believe it wouldn’t be alright to tell me. I thought your father and I made it clear we didn’t care who you loved.”

Her daughter exhaled a laugh. “I always thought that meant it would be alright if I married a man who wasn’t a bioengineer.”

Eliza grinned. “Jeremiah and I used to joke you would bring home a liberal arts major just to spite us.”

Alex almost laughed before realizing Maggie and Kara held degrees in the field of liberal arts. It was a very sobering thought.

“So you’re not…disappointed in me?” Alex asked. She could hear her mother explaining her acceptance but she needed to hear Eliza say it. Eliza shook her head. “Alex, I could never be disappointed in you over who you love. Man, woman, or…alien… They will never be good enough for my daughter. But I will accept anyone you choose to love and never be the least bit disappointed in you.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex cried. “For not telling you sooner. It’s only been a few months and I was trying to…”

“Hey, hey,” Eliza said. She stood and pulled Alex into a hug. “It’s alright. I can understand how difficult that must have been when you realized the truth.”

“It was,” The brunette admitted. “I couldn’t have done it without Maggie or Kara.”

She felt her mother slightly stiffen at Kara’s name and all the relief and happiness she had started to feel evaporated. She pulled away, or at least tried to. Eliza Danvers was stronger than she looked.

“No,” Eliza said, keeping her arms tightly around her daughter. “I don’t get enough hugs from my girls. This is me hugging my incredibly, strong daughter for being brave enough to be herself.”

Alex wanted to enjoy the embrace. It was more acceptance than she dared hoped to receive when she thought about telling her mother in the past. She just couldn’t enjoy it while waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Eliza could feel her distress and pulled away. She went back to sit at the kitchen table and finished the inch of red wine left in her glass. She then poured the rest of the bottle into her glass and took another large sip.

Alex swallowed her urge to throw up and picked her own glass of wine off the table. Any wine connoisseur would have gasped at the way she downed it all without savoring the flavor. Her mother had had a lot of wine and if she was going to have this argument, she needed to catch up with her. She poured another glass of the white wine.

“I really think we should save this conversation for later,” Eliza said, bracing her hands on the table.

“And I think we should have it now because I don’t want to be worrying about this for weeks,” Alex argued. “Go ahead and say what you think.”

Eliza rubbed her forehead. “You left her alone in a jail cell, Alexandra. What were you thinking?”

The agent almost fell at the comment and had to brace herself against the back of the chair. “What?”

Upset, blue eyes met hazel ones. “You refused to go bail Kara out of jail and cut off access to her friends. Alex, what were you thinking? You know how she sees the good in people. Someone in there could have tried to hurt her and then what? They would have only hurt themselves and found out she was Supergirl at the same time.”

Alex couldn’t even focus on what her mother was saying. All she knew was that her mother wasn’t upset over what she should have been upset with the most.

“Really? You’re focusing on what happened today instead of the fact that Kara and I are supposedly dating?”

“What do you mean supposedly?” Her mother asked, narrowing her eyes.

Alex loudly exhaled and took another large gulp of her wine. This was going to be a long night. She just prayed Kara took a long time getting dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my theory that Eliza is going to be absolutely supportive of Alex coming out. She was hard on Alex about Kara and her career. I think she absolutely want Alex to find someone to love as much as she loved her husband and she's not going to care who they are.
> 
> Now she has other feelings about leaving Kara in lockup and them 'dating' of course.


	24. Mother Knows Best

Alex Danvers had two options. She could tell her mother the truth; that her relationship with Kara was a lie built off of a misunderstanding. Or she could tell her mother a lie; that her relationship with Kara was real. Except it was hard to understand what was true and false these days. Was her relationship with Kara a falsity if they both acted like they were in one? Where all her feelings for Kara a lie?

Alex only knew she couldn’t keep everything in any longer. She had to tell someone the whole truth and it couldn’t be Maggie and sure as hell couldn’t be Kara. So she told her mother everything. She told her about coming out to be with Maggie, Maggie rejecting her, Kara disappearing, Kara returning with the idea they were dating, and agreeing to go along with the charade to spare Kara’s feelings.

Her mother said nothing as she listened but she helped herself to a glass of Alex’s white wine after completing her own bottle.

“Well?” Alex asked. She was standing by this point and she rubbed her sweaty palms on her jeans, trying not to have the panic attack she could feel itching to happen just under the surface of her skin.

“It seems like you have a problem,” Eliza mused, setting her glass off to the side. The older Danvers was met with a flabbergasted look. “Really, Mom? Really? I just told you that your daughter has been faking a relationship with your adopted daughter and that’s all you have to say? I have a problem?”

Eliza nodded. She could feel the wine affecting her balance, but she was still sober enough to give a true answer. “Yes.”

The agent stalked over to the couch and collapsed on one end. “Thanks. Great talk.”

The older woman rose from the table and briefly had to brace herself as the world shifted without her. Perhaps switching from red to white was a bad idea, she thought as she moved over to sit on the other end of the couch.

“This is entirely your fault,” Eliza firmly stated. Alex clenched her jaw as she fought against crying. She knew this was the moment she had been regretfully waiting for. Her mother would blame her and ask her what she had been doing instead of protecting Kara. She would be told it was dishonest and immoral. She fisted her hands into her jeans and waited for the vicious lecture.

Instead she got a soft hand touching her shoulder and she looked over to see kind eyes. Eliza smiled, “Alex, I’ve already told you this last Thanksgiving. You make the hard choices and you look to help others before yourself. What you did was a selfless act to try and spare Kara’s feelings in a time she felt very lost and alone. You made a hard decision between devastating Kara in that moment and upsetting her in the future.”

“So how is this entirely my fault?” Alex asked.

“You neglected to take your feelings into account.”

“What?”

Eliza nodded, wisely. “Everything that happened today, everything that is happening in you and Kara’s ‘fake’ relationship is because you neglected to take your own feelings into account.”

“Feelings about what?” Alex asked, her brow scrunching up. “My feelings don’t matter.”

Eliza squeezed her shoulder. “That’s where you’re wrong, Alex. Your feelings do matter. You matter. You walked into this pretend relationship with only the thought of protecting Kara. You never stopped to think what would happen to you if you pretended to be in a relationship with her.”

Alex resisted the urged to shrug out of her mother’s touch. “I may be a lesbian, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to fall for the closest attractive female in my life after another woman turns me down.”

“I never said that,” Eliza calmly retorted. “Alex, did you ever stop to think about who you are pretending to be in a relationship with?”

The agent shook her head, wishing she had brought her wine with her. “I don’t understand the question.”

The blonde stopped and mentally repeated the question to herself to see if it made sense in her tipsy mind. Deciding it did, she pressed forward. “You are pretending to be in a relationship with the girl you’ve known since you were 14 years old. She is your closest friend, the one you share almost everything with, and the woman you swore to care for and protect.”

Alex shook her head, still not understanding. Eliza cursed mixing wines even though she knew as an intellectual that it was more the amount than what she drank. “Okay, let me try again. Alex, you’ve always been a lesbian whether you realized it or not.”

“I guess so,” The brunette hedged.

“Did it never cross your mind that somewhere deep down inside of you, you wanted the chance to date the beautiful, alien that was dropped onto your doorstep when you were 14 years old?”

Alex completely refused to follow that train of thought. She jumped off the couch. “Mom! I did not have a crush on Kara when I was little! I treated her like crap when she first arrived. She was annoying and broke everything. She couldn’t even speak English and when she learned, she followed me around and embarrassed me in front of my friends.”

Eliza nodded, all true. She let Alex continue her rant, watching her start to pace.

“Really, that’s ridiculous. I didn’t even know I was gay then. I didn’t start repressing those feelings until high school and definitely in college. I mean sure, Kara was always attractive in a can’t-get-pimples kind of way, but that doesn’t mean I thought about her like that. She was just…Kara. Nothing else. And why are you smiling?”

Her mother shrugged and Alex groaned in frustration, throwing up her hands. “You know, I might just prefer you being upset over how you’re acting now.”

“Because if I was upset, you’d have an excuse to break things off with Kara and you’d never have to process your feelings,” Eliza shrewdly pointed out. Alex shook her head. “I can’t believe this. I just can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you.”

Her mother smiled. “I can’t believe it either. I have to admit I think the wine is helping smooth this out. Alex, please, come sit down. Stop pacing.”

The agent grumbled, but moved to sit back on the couch. Eliza decided to be honest. “The idea of you and Kara dating is confusing. I’ve spent many years considering you two as close as sisters and loving you both as my daughters. However, I don’t care that you’re gay or Kara is bisexual. This fake relationship seems to have caused a lot of confusion for you as well. And Alex, you couldn’t be confused about it if you didn’t have actual feelings for her. I really can’t help you with this. You have to decide what to do.”

“What if I find out I don’t feel the same about her?” Alex asked, suddenly unsure. “What if I break her heart because I thought I should try this out? What if I just end up causing her pain and suffering when I’m supposed to be protecting her?”

Eliza had seen the looks Alex and Kara shared earlier that evening. She knew there was no way Alex’s worries would come to pass. Yet she decided to let her daughter figure that out. Alex always did learn more when discovering things by herself. She moved closer onto the couch and hugged her daughter. She just had to. She hadn’t seen Alex look so uncertain and afraid since she was a little child. “Everything will work out as it should. I promise.”

Alex accepted her mother’s hug, but worried the promise couldn’t be kept. She didn’t have the chance focus on the worry too long as Kara took that opportunity to fly into the apartment with three large bags of takeout. It smelled deliciously like breakfast.

“Alex? Eliza?” Kara called out when she landed. She looked at the one and three fourths empty bottles on her table and then relaxed when she spotted the pair on the couch. She hoped that meant the talks had gone well. “Hey, I got Aunt Emma’s. I hope you two are in the mood for breakfast for dinner.”

“That sounds amazing,” Eliza declared, slapping Alex on the thigh. “Let’s eat.”

The blonde took a moment to inventory her wine. Just how many bottles had the two had? “Let me get you two some water.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Thanksgiving. I don't have the heart to make Eliza anything other than confused about Alex's and Kara's relationship. I mean she's still upset about Alex leaving Kara in jail. That is so not protecting your sis...frie...girlfriend? She'll figure out proper titles later. 
> 
> By the way, did you catch it? It was small, but huge. It actually started in Chapter 22, but it shows here to.


	25. Hangover

“Did you get Mom safely back to her hotel?” Alex asked from where she lay on the couch when she heard Kara fly into the window.

“Yes. She mentioned something about mixing wines as I tucked her into bed. It’s nice to know you get your drinking affliction naturally.”

“No,” Alex said in a tone that sounded more like a groan as she struggled upright on the couch. “It’s just from being a scientist. We can drink like sailors. Do you know they have free open beer and wine bars in pretty much every science convention you go to?”

The brunette patted the seat behind her and Kara gladly slid into the spot. Alex leaned back against her at the same time an arm wrapped firmly around her waist.

“Why’s that?” Kara asked.

“Hmm?” Alex asked, unsure what they were talking about. Being in Kara’s embrace made her feel warm, safe, and capable of forgetting the rest of the world outside. “Oh, the open bar? It’s because scientists have the stereotype of being a little introverted and shy. It takes some liquid lubrication to help some people open up and talk.”

“We don’t have free open bars at my conventions,” Kara mused. “That’s a little unfair.”

“Journalists and superheroes hardly need alcohol to open up and talk. The exact opposite is the problem.” Alex laughed and squirmed as Kara gently tickled her side. “Stop, stop. I’m much too tipsy for that.”

Kara snickered. “Only because you tried to out drink your mother.”

Alex didn’t focus on a retort. Instead she whispered, unable to believe her own words. “It went really well with her. I never dreamed she would be so accepting.”

The blonde kissed the side of her head. “She loves you, Alex.”

“I worried about coming out to her. But she said I could never disappoint her and she didn’t care who I loved as long they loved me. She said she didn’t care if it was a man, woman, or…alien.”

Kara squeezed Alex in a tighter hug. “It makes me very happy to be included in that list.”

Alex’s laugh was cut off by a yawn. Kara kissed her head again. “You should probably go to bed. You’ve had some very emotionally charged experiences. I think sleep would do us both some good.”

The agent didn’t get a choice in the matter. “Whoa. Jesus, Kara!” she cried out as she was suddenly scoped into Kara’s arms and carried a few feet around the corner into the bedroom. “Was this really necessary?”

The blonde shrugged, acting nonchalant. “My cousin shouldn’t be the only one who gets to carry attractive brunettes around in his arms.”

“Really?” Alex drawled. They were standing by the bed and Kara continued to hold her when she could have put her down instead. “You’re comparing me to Lois Lane? I don’t need rescuing nearly as much as she does. Put me down.”

She gave a short shriek as she was dropped the three feet onto the bed. Luckily Kara’s bed was thoroughly padded so she only bounced a little. “You brat.”

“You’re a strong, independent woman,” Kara retorted. “You asked to be put down.”

Alex shook her head as she climbed out of bed to change into sleep clothes. “Put down, not dropped.”

“Semantics,” The blonde argued, waving a dismissive hand.

The pair got ready for bed in silence after that. Kara changed into her sleep clothes and went around turning off the lights in her apartment while Alex was in the bathroom. Once she came out, Alex climbed into the left side and took off her watch to lay it on the bedside table. It only took the superhero a moment to thoroughly brush her teeth and climb into bed on her side. She switched off the light and laid down in the dark.

It was there, in the dark, that Alex allowed herself to focus on everything that had happened that day. It felt like days ago that Kara was arrested; it was difficult to believe that had just happened at lunch. Since then she had had talks with J’onn and her mother over being gay and in a relationship with Kara. Hell, her mother had even accused her of having a crush on the blonde. Which she hadn’t. …Right?

Alex released the tiniest sigh of frustration which of course Kara heard. The blonde turned on her side to face the brunette. “What’s wrong?”

Alex didn’t want to lie, but she couldn’t tell Kara the truth either. “I’m upset we didn’t get to go on our second date.”

Kara laughed. She moved to cuddle into Alex’s side. “Don’t worry. I plan on us completing that date and several more. No jail will get in my way.”

Alex tilted her head to try to see Kara’s face in the dim, city lights filtering through the windows. “We should talk about that, shouldn’t we?”

The blonde made a non-committal sound. “I think we’re both talked out. How about we save any emotional talks for tomorrow?”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Alex mused. She was startled when Kara suddenly moved up onto her elbow. “What’s wrong?”

She couldn’t see it, but she could almost hear the blush in Kara’s voice. “Can I have a goodnight kiss?”

The question made Alex blush which she _knew_ Kara could see with her glasses off. The agent tried to pull off a composed reply. “Of course.”

What Alex prepared herself for was not what she received. Kara placed a gentle, almost tentative kiss on her cheek, just touching the corner of her mouth. She placed another kiss on the exact same spot before whispering, “You are so beautiful.”

Alex gulped, but before she could reply Kara had settled back down. She couldn’t think of an appropriate reply before she heard the steady breaths of the alien falling asleep.

Part of her wanted to stay up and over process everything that happened that day. Yet most of her was tired, tipsy, warm, and comfortable. It was easier to fall asleep than to force herself to stay awake worrying so that is what she did.

 

*

Kara let out a soft moan when her alarm went off. She did not want to go get up and go to work. She especially did not want to go to work when Alex was curled up around her. She leaned out of bed to turn off the alarm and tried to slide out of bed. A strong arm held in her place and Alex said, her voice hoarse from sleep, “Five more minutes.”

“I need to brush my teeth,” Kara protested. She was self-conscious about her morning breath.

“You can’t get cavities,” Alex protested. She turned her face into her pillow and made some grumbling sounds of protest. She had a small hangover from the amount of wine she drank. She had a mild headache, her body felt icky, and she was incredible thirsty. “Can you get me some water?”

“Can I get out of bed?”

“No.”

“Then it doesn’t seem possible,” Kara replied.

Alex grumbled, “Some superhero you are.”

The blonde rolled her eyes and tried to get out of bed again. This time Alex let her go. The superhero made an executive decision and texted James that she was taking a sick day. He would understand. She was certain Winn had told him about her trip to jail. She then tossed her phone aside and went to gather supplies to coddle her girlfriend.

A bottle of water, four pieces of toast, and two headache relievers later, Alex was feeling almost like herself again. She was able to get out of bed, brush her teeth and pee, and immediately got back into bed. “Shouldn’t you get ready for work?”

Kara shrugged as she also got back into bed. “I’m taking a mental health day. We have those in our contracts at CatCo.”

“One would need them when working for Cat Grant,” Alex mused.

“She wasn’t that bad,” Kara protested, defending her boss’s honor. Alex made a sound of disagreement. Kara rolled her eyes and slid further under the covers. She lay on her side facing Alex. Her bedmate did the same action.

“So what are you going to do on your day off?” Alex asked. Kara smiled. “Well I love would to continue our lunch date but I promised some of the girls from lockup to meet them for lunch.”

“And who are these girls and what were they in for?”

A look of concentration grew on Kara’s face as she tried to remember. “Hmm. Well I’m meeting Carry. She wouldn’t say what she was in for. Maria is coming too. I don’t think she really likes me, but I think I can win her over. A few other people.”

“You can win anyone over,” Alex declared. “You won Max Lord over and that’s saying a lot.”

“Let’s not talk about Max Lord,” Kara requested. The thought of him put a damper on her feelings.

“Okay,” The agent agreed. “What do you want to do?”

Kara knew what she really wanted to do as she glanced at Alex’s lips. She had wanted a proper kiss last night, but had been afraid of taking a full kiss. She felt it was too soon after everything to request one the night before. But would it be alright to request one the morning after?

Alex caught the look. She was used to guys looking at her and they were always easy to spot. It was a little more disconcerting for Kara to be looking at her. She felt safe and desired at the same time. It was a strange combination, but she didn’t spend time focusing on it.

Instead, she decided to focus on kissing. Later, she would rationalize it out in her mind. There was no point in worrying about a relationship with Kara if she didn’t enjoy a proper kiss with the woman. She wanted one proper, long kiss with Kara Zor-El and she would make her decision about their relationship after.

The blonde reached out and wrapped an arm around Alex’s waist, pulling her closer. They met halfway, equals in the kiss with neither surprising the other. This one was less tentative and more determined. Alex fell naturally onto her back and Kara followed, neither breaking the kiss as lips overlapped again and again.

It was completely different from the other kisses, Alex’s mind had time to briefly muse. It was incredible.

Kara could only whisper one word as she pulled back for air. It shocked the superhero that she actually felt out of breath. “Wow.”

“Why did that feel like a first kiss?” Alex asked in wonder, her eyes still closed. Kara smiled as she brushed some brown hair behind the agent’s ear. “How many of those have we had now if it was like a new first kiss?”

“Four,” The agent answered. She opened her eyes and grinned. “But what’s one more?”

Kara chuckled and leaned forward for another kiss. Alex couldn’t stop reveling in the fact that these kisses felt so much better than the ones before. She wondered if it was because she was more accepting of the idea of being in a relationship with Kara than she had been a few days ago.

Their kisses progressed naturally into a slow French kiss. Alex had been nervous to progress to the next level. She had always hated French kissing with men. She never liked their stubble, smell, or taste. She was worried she’d feel the same about Kara, but she found out that was entirely not the case. Kissing Kara was amazing. Kara smelled amazing, she didn’t have a beard, and she kissed so incredibly right. Part of Alex knew it was just unfair Kryptonian genes but who was she to complain when she was reaping the benefits. At no point during the kiss did it cross her mind she was French kissing a woman she used to call her sister. That thought would come later.

Kara would admit later it was her fault. She got really into the kiss, more than she should have. The blonde moved to be in closer contact with her body and placed her on left hand on Alex’s waist. She loved the fact that her hand was touching bare skin because Alex’s night shirt had ridden up. It felt so natural to rub her hand along Alex’s stomach, enjoying the contrast of soft skin on top of hard muscles. Alex seemed to like her touch. There had been a soft moan of approval.

Even though Kara took the blame for the event, it really had been an accident. Kara’s hand had slid a little under Alex’s shirt, exploring more of her stomach. Alex had shifted to start touching Kara as well. This caused Kara’s hand to slip further under Alex’s shirt and when her hand encountered a naked breast, she naturally cupped it.

Both women froze at the touch which paused them mid-kiss. They realized how far they had gotten with something that had started out as a simple kiss. They became embarrassed. Alex pulled away and Kara furiously blushed from head to toe.

“I’m so sorry,” She apologized. “I didn’t mean…I would never…Please forgive me.”

“Its fine,” Alex stated. It wasn’t fine, but that was because she wasn’t fine with their relationship. She needed to get away and think so she climbed out of bed.

Kara buried her face in her hands. She couldn’t believe what she had just done. She had groped her girlfriend and they hadn’t even gone on an official second date yet.

Kara looked up to find Alex dressed and putting on her watch. The superhero frowned in confusion; how in the name of Rao had Alex gotten dressed so fast while she was internally panicking?

“Alex…” Kara started. The agent shook her head. “I really have to get to work, Kara, and you have your lunch date. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wait,” The blonde called out, but Alex was already out the door. Kara grabbed one of her pillows and shouted as she ripped it in half. White fluff flew everywhere as she started to cry. “Rao, please. Don’t let me mess this up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dang, Kara, you can't just go grabbing a woman like that. Didn't the Circadians teach you manners?
> 
> I'm thankful for Supergirl, Kara, Alex, and all of you readers and commenters. You are the reason I find time and energy to write and post everyday while working on this story.


	26. Quid Pro Quo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The natural progress of this story should have been Kara's day and then Alex's day. But Kara's upcoming chapter does a big reveal so it comes next. Also, I wrote this chapter a week ago. It was a lot of fun.

Alex would never remember what she worked on at the DEO that day. Perhaps she ran some tests, chased down some aliens, or just stared at her laboratory walls. All she knew was about six o’clock, instead of calling Kara like she normally would, she called Maggie.

“Sawyer? Danvers. Do you want to go out for a drink?”

The detective have readily agreed and they met at the Dolly Parton Dive bar.

“So tell me about that date,” Maggie ordered as she placed two beers in front of them. She had barely been seated when Alex told her everything; the whole truth. It took twenty minutes for the DEO agent to explain it all and all Maggie could do was stare.

“Well?” Alex prompted when she was done with her tale. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

Maggie took a long drag from her beer as a response to what Alex had just told her. She then pursed her lips and nodded as she reviewed the information in her head. “So you got to second base with your sister this morning?”

“Jesus, Sawyer,” Alex gasped, looking around the bar to see if anyone overheard. “Could you say that any louder?”

Maggie gave a rough chuckle. “I’m just processing here, Danvers.”

Alex rubbed her hands over her face. “What am I going to do? It would devastate her to learn the truth before her memories come back, but it’s killing me to keep up this charade. It feels like lying.”

“Is it though?”

First J’onn, then her Mom, and now Maggie. Alex uncovered her face to see a soft, comforting smile on Maggie’s. “What are you saying?”

A corner of the smile tilted upwards now appearing a little less comforting and a little more know-it-all. “I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with my siblings. Even the thought of kissing them is stomach-churning. I would literally vomit and would not have been tempted to start any sort of fake relationship. I imagine most people feel the same about their siblings. You’re not disgusted. You’re disoriented.”

Alex’s jaw fell open. She opened and closed it a few times, trying to think of the perfect come back. It was hard to think of a reply when you’re angry, afraid, and shocked all at once.

Maggie leaned across the table to cover one of Alex’s hands. “Hey. It’s okay you don’t feel that way. If it wasn’t for Batwoman, Supergirl would be my favorite superhero crush if you get what I mean. She’s an amazing woman, Alex. It’s okay to have feelings for her. You’re not sisters. You don’t share blood. I’ve seen plenty of older foster siblings get together later in life.”

“What if…what if I let this continue and she doesn’t feel the same when she gets her memories back?” Alex asked one of the questions that had been plaguing her heart since talking with her mother the night before.

The detective chuckled. “I’m willing to bet my badge she felt this way about you before she lost her memories. She seemed jealous about us at times before she lost her memory. She didn’t seem that way once she thought she was in a secure relationship with you at Aunt Emma’s.”

Alex was set to protest there was never an ‘us’ between the two of them when she realized Maggie was right. She sensed something was not at-ease with Kara when she talked about Maggie or the three hung out before Kara left Earth. She just thought Kara was worried about her.

It never crossed her mind that Kara could have been jealous B.C. That was what Winn called it, Before Circadians.

She gestured for another round of shots.

“Just go with the flow, Danvers. It sounds like it’s pretty easy.”

“Well it’s not fucking easy,” Alex grumbled, really upset.

Maggie placed a hand over her heart. “Oh my. Do you kiss your sister with that mouth? Oh right…”

Maggie ducked the punch aimed at her head with a laugh. If glares could melt, she’d be a puddle right now. “Alex, relax. The only one overthinking this is you. It’s a key sign of a lesbian, but it’s not one of our more attractive traits. You just sat there and described an amazing girlfriend with weeks of amazingly normal moments. The amount of kissing that happened earlier should clue you in on the fact you two have chemistry. You have intimacy, passion, and commitment: all three sides of the relationship triangle. Most people in the world would kill for a relationship like that.”

Alex nodded to the waitress, Maggie’s ex, when their shots arrived. She drank hers and Maggie’s. “What are you? A marriage counselor and a detective?”

“I did take a sociology class or two while working on my criminology degree. The classes are often co-listed.”

“Fantastic,” Alex said, gesturing for another round. Maggie shook her head, canceling the order.

“I’ll dumb down what I’m about to say to FBI level. You need to go and talk to Kara. Tell her the truth and see what she says. I’m willing to bet she still wants to be with you.”

Alex narrowed her eyes at the detective. “I’m risking everything if I do that. It’s so hypocritical for you to sit over there and give me advice you won’t even take yourself.”

It was Maggie’s turn to narrow her eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re still in love with Kate and you won’t go talk to her. I’m willing to bet she still wants to be with you too.”

Maggie worked her jaw around. She finally snapped, “Fine. Do you want to play quid pro quo? I’ll call Kate up right now if you promise to tell Kara the truth tonight.”

“Do it and I will,” Alex accepted the challenge. In her tipsy haze, she hadn’t really thought Maggie would call her ex. She learned that night to never dare a Sawyer.

Maggie pulled out her phone and tapped a few places on the screen. She turned the phone around to show Alex she had Kate Kane’s number pulled up and she hit the phone symbol. Alex’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as Maggie tersely put the phone to her ear and waited. The detective flinched when Alex assumed Kate answered. “Hey, it’s me.”

Alex watched as all of the tension flowed out of Maggie’s body and a soft smile crossed her face. “It’s nice to hear your voice too.”

A pause. “Yeah, I’m in a bar.”

“Actually, yes, there’s a beautiful lady beside me. But would you believe she dared me to call you?”

“Why? Because… she knows I’m still in love with you.”

“Kate…wait…slow down. There’s no need to take the jet to get here. I have to work tomorrow…”

“Well, yes, I should have considered that before I told you I was still in love with you…”

Maggie slipped off the bar stool and shrugged into her jacket, switching the phone between hands to get in the sleeves. She pointed firmly at the door to Alex and mouthed, “Go tell her.”

“The friend? Well she dared me because I dared her to go talk to the woman she likes. Ironically enough, the woman she likes also told me I should tell you I was still in love with you.”

“Yes, I will introduce you to them and yes, you can buy them a drink. Actually you already know the woman my friend likes. It’s Supergirl.”

“…How on Earth did you know my friend was Alex Danvers?”

“Well yes, you do know a thing or two about women in love…”

Alex shook her head as she watched Maggie leave. She sucked in a deep breath and ordered an Uber to take her to Kara’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course Kate Kane would instantly know Kara was in love with Alex when she met her a few summers ago.


	27. Groping Incident

_A year before the groping incident_

Clark smiled, “Kara, I’d like to introduce you to Bruce’s cousin, Kate Kane. Kate, this is my cousin Kara Danvers.”

Kate grinned as she moved forward, offering Kara her hand. “Clark, I never knew you had a much better looking cousin.”

Kara blushed as she shook the other woman’s hand, using her free one to adjust her glasses. “Thank you, Ms. Kane. You are lovely as well.”

The other woman grinned. “Call me Kate.”

Bruce looked at Clark. “Kate and Kara. Why do I have a feeling we may regret introducing them?”

The way Kate had grinned made Kara realize she was not going to have a boring trip to Gotham. The red-haired woman pulled her off to the side. “So, Supergirl, what do you do for fun?”

Kara’s jaw dropped and she fiddled with her glasses again. “What are you talking about? I’m not Supergirl.”

She gave a nervous laugh which did nothing to prove her point. Kate only grinned in return. “I know Bruce is Batman and Clark is Superman. Superman’s blonde cousin is Supergirl. I can connect the dots.”

The blonde lowered her glasses and gave Kate a full look up and down. Kate laughed, “Really, Kara. I find the look really flattering, but I’m already seeing a wonderful woman.”

Kara almost dropped her glasses as she instantly blushed. “No. No. That wasn’t what I was doing. I mean…you do look nice, but I was…anyway. I like stopping bad guys for fun…Batwoman.”

Amused green-eyes met blue ones. “I knew it wouldn’t take you long. I bet all my hidden gadgets gave it away.”

“And the batarangs,” Kara teased. “Aren’t you afraid of keeping them so close to such a delicate area?”

“Years of practice, my dear.”

*

“So you like women too?” Batwoman asked as she punched one of the would-be assaulters unconscious. Supergirl sighed as she slammed the other one against a building. “Is this really the appropriate time to be asking me such questions?”

“I’m only trying to make conversation,” The dark, female knight stated. “No need to get huffy over there.”

The alien checked to make sure both unconscious men were tied up. “I’m not huffy. Sirs, are you alright?”

The gay couple who had been attacked nodded. The shorter of the pair said, “Thank you, Supergirl and you too, Batwoman. You saved us.”

The pair of superheroes smiled. Batwoman allowed Kara to pick her up and fly them both away, waiting for the next call.

“You never answered my question,” Kate pointed out as she checked her scanner for any other signs of crime. The four pair of superheroes had made an agreement. Kate and Kara would work one night so the boys could play and the boys would work the next night.

Kara sighed and crossed her arms. “Yes. I do like women as well as men. How did you know anyway?”

Batwoman hesitated. She wasn’t sure Kara was ready to hear the truth on how she had known Kara was bisexual. But the blonde was giving her an expecting look that she hardly felt like she could deny. “It was the way you talk…about women. One woman, in particular actually. It sounded familiar to my lesbian ears.”

“Lesbian ears?” Kara repeated. “And what woman? I mean I know I talk about Ms. Grant a lot but…”

“Oh, yeah, forgot about your boss,” Batwoman laughed. “Make that two women in particular. You most certainly do have a little crush on your boss. But I wasn’t referring to her.”

Kara’s face scrunched up in confusion. If it wasn’t Ms. Grant than whom could it be?

Kate waited, hoping Kara would realize it on her own. She gave some prompts, “The woman you never stop talking about. The woman who you cuddle and eat dinner with. The one that makes you smile every time you say her name.”

She received a blank look in return. Kate sighed. “Alex. I’m talking about your Alex.”

“Alex?…My Alex?” The blonde nervously laughed. She looked away. “I don’t…not that way. Not about Alex. I thought I told you she was my sister.”

“Adoptive sister,” Kate pointed out. “Something you remember very well. It’s clear to see you are head over cape in love with her.”

Kara looked defeated. “I can’t believe it shows this bad. I’ve tried so hard to hide it.”

“Hey,” Batwoman said, moving over to place a comforting hand on Supergirl’s shoulder. “It’s just easier for me to notice because I know what a woman in love looks like. Alex sounds like an amazing woman who would be lucky to have you.”

“She doesn’t like me like that,” Kara muttered. “She’s straight.”

Kate squeezed the blonde’s shoulder in sympathy. The sound of the bat-communicator startled them both. She checked the incoming message.

“Bank robbery,” Batwoman reported. “Looks like Harley and Ivy decided to steal some jewels. Shall we?”

Kara gasped. “I get to meet Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy tonight? This is going to be so amazing. Let’s go.”

Kate just hoped Kara was up to some heavy flirting and banter once they apprehended the pair of criminals. She was certain Harley was going to make some jokes about Batwoman’s new blonde girlfriend.

*

“I can’t believe Poison Ivy kissed my cheek,” Kara later gasped.

“She was trying to poison you,” Kate pointed out.

“Oh. Well now that just takes all the fun out of it.”

*

_The day before the groping incident_

“Mommy! I see Supergirl,” The little girl exclaimed. Her mother chuckled. Everything that flew by these days was declared to be Supergirl; birds, planes, or satellites. She was used to the exclamation.

“Really? What’s she doing?”

“She’s just sitting on the edge of that building,” Her daughter explained. The mother was tempted to leave her dinner preparations to see what was going on outside the window, but decided against it. Supergirl wouldn’t really be sitting out on the edge of a building when it was almost dinner time.

Twenty minutes later, her daughter left the window. She ran up to her mother. “She just left, Mommy. She waved at me and everything.”

“That’s wonderful, darling. Now go wash up for dinner.”

 

*

_Twenty Minutes Earlier_

Neural pathways picked the oddest time to reconnect after weeks of being severed. The superhero had often wondered how she would regain her memories. She had wistfully hoped it would happen while kissing Alex or while she was fighting the monster of the week. Instead, it happened while she was flying to Aunt Emma’s Pancake restaurant.

One minute she was worrying about Alex and Eliza while trying to decide what type of breakfast food each woman would want. The next, she was free falling through the air as all of her memories came crashing down on her. At the last minute, she was able to regain control over herself and avoided crashing through the roof of the building.

Kara gently touched down on the concrete surface and walked over to the edge to take in the view. She sat down on the edge to think and focus.

It was hard to think when you were mortified, she realized. She had been actively pining over Alex for weeks, flirting with her, and kissing her. Kara scrubbed her face as she remembered all the kisses on the mouth they had shared. All her feelings for Alex that she had kept properly shut off inside had been actively released and there was no way she would ever be able to pretend they weren’t real if Alex decided she didn’t want to be in a relationship.

Kara shook her head at her naivety. Her old self had never doubted Alex’s feelings. She had thought Alex was only being shy or reserved for her sake every time the brunette had hesitated, blushed, or pulled away. It should have been so obvious that Alex was only pretending to date her.

Part of her was undeniably angry. Everyone important to her had kept the truth from her for over six weeks. Winn, J’onn, and Alex had all pretended their relationship was real. No one had bothered to correct the Circadians’ assumptions. It made her feel betrayed and horribly alone.

But past the mortification and anger, she was ridiculously happy and hopeful. It was clear to see that while Alex had only pretended to date her in the beginning, they had become something more. Kara knew their last kisses had been real. Alex had kissed her back; the brunette had even initiated the third one. Maybe there was a chance that her unrequited feelings would become requited. Perhaps Alex felt the same about her or was growing to feel the same.

There was really only one thing to do, Kara decided. She had to keep pretending to be the Circadian-formatted Zor-El Kara. She knew she should tell everyone the truth, but the truth could mean losing Alex. And she couldn’t lose Alex. She would give anything for another day with her.

“Oh Rao,” Kara whispered when she realized everything she had told Eliza. She hadn’t really appreciated how calm Eliza had been earlier. Her foster mother had taken everything extremely well. She only hoped everything was going alright back at her apartment. She wouldn’t be able to bear it if Eliza talked Alex out of their relationship.

Supergirl took a deep breath and stood up on the edge of the building. She finally noticed the little African American girl staring at her from a window across the street. She smiled and waved before taking off into the air. Pancakes would not go fetch themselves.

*

_Lunch after the groping incident_

Kara hadn’t felt up to going to lunch after Alex had left. She just couldn’t stop worrying that she had screwed everything up with the other woman. She almost went into work to take her mind off things. If there was anyone capable of focusing Kara on everything besides Alex it was Snapper Carr. She knew if she went in, he would have infuriated her to a tizzy over some small detail or story. It was strange to think she actually felt like she was becoming a better journalist because of him.

Yet Kara didn’t go into work. She moped around her apartment all morning, hoping Alex would show back up and talk. She knew it was an idiotic hope. She hadn’t even texted the other woman. Kara watched a black and white movie before dragging herself out of the house to go to lunch. She had promised her friends in lockup she would be there.

“Hi guys,” Kara greeted, walking out of the alleyway where she had landed and changed into her normal clothes. Carry was there, the probable prostitute. She had changed her hair color. It was now a dark brown instead of the red it had been in lockup.

Maria was also there. Maria was been the shorter Latina woman who had called her the b-word in lockup. Her taller counterpart with the tear-dropped tattoos was absent. They had been in lockup for stealing from cars out in the parking lot of a mall. When Maria smirked at her, Kara wished her counterpart had come with her. The blonde was almost certain the tattooed woman liked her and knew Maria didn’t.

The last woman out from was Libby. Libby was an African American woman who looked to be in her sixties. She was the most amusing character out of the whole bunch to Kara. When asked what she was in for, Libby had declared. “Running a stop sign.”

That had hardly seemed like a reason to be taken to jail and Kara had stated so. One of the other women in lockup had snickered. “I heard the cops talking. Yeah she ran a stop sign, right into a cop car. Then she started blaming the police chick like it was her fault.”

“It was,” Libby had firmly stated. “I was very upset to see that officer was parked in the bicycle lane. I was kindly trying to move her. Who is going to protect this city from those in authority? I am.”

Libby had actually been released before Kara had. The older woman had laughed. “It’s my daughter bailing me out. I told her not to bother.”

Kara caught a glimpse of Libby’s daughter as the woman was escorted out before the door closed. Her jaw dropped when she saw her daughter was the house representative for the district containing National City. She was certain that conversation had not gone over well between mother and daughter.

The four women entered the diner together and ordered. If their waitress thought anything of the strange pack they made, she kept it to herself as she brought them glasses of water, coffee cups, and a pitcher of coffee. Kara took charge of pouring everyone’s coffee.

“So how did things go with Alex’s mother?” Libby asked, reaching over to take the sugar for her coffee.

“Uh…it went well, I think. There was a lot of wine involved.”

“There should always be a lot of wine involved,” Carry stated. Libby and her clinked coffee cups over the statement.

“I suppose,” Kara hedged, unable to see the appeal of getting drinking. “She took it very well. Gave me a scolding for assaulting the piece of trash that was hackling me and Alex.”

Libby scoffed. “That guy is just lucky you were there. He would have not been so lucky had I been walking down that street.”

Kara believed her. She tried to turn the conversation away from herself. “So how did it go with your daughter? I couldn’t help but notice she was…”

“The house representative?” Libby finished. She laughed. “Yes, she is.”

Maria looked impressed. “No wonder you got off for hitting a cop car. I’d still be in there if I had done that shit.”

“Giving birth and raising one of the most influential people in the city does have its privileges. But sometimes my daughter likes to forget about the common man’s plight. She doesn’t stay woke on issues she should and ignores me when I try to talk to her about them. So I have to do things like that to get her attention.”

It took everything Kara had not to pull out her notepad and start taking notes. She wanted nothing more than to report Libby’s story, but she controlled her urges.

“Respect,” Maria declared. Libby nodded her thanks and then said, “But we all came to find out how your situation went, Kara. Did you talk to Alex?”

Maria snickered as Kara fought valiantly against blushing and utterly failed. Carry laughed. “I guess you two did more than talk.”

“I want to see a picture of Alex,” Carry declared. Kara pulled out her phone and searched her gallery. It didn’t take long for her to find one of Alex sitting on her couch, giving her a bemused smile about taking the picture. She showed that image to the other women at the table. Libby nodded. “She’s beautiful. A little too light-skinned for my taste, but very attractive.”

Kara laughed. “Yes, she is very beautiful.”

“So what happened?” Maria demanded to know. Kara hesitated for only a moment before telling the women a modified version of the story that didn’t include anything relating to the fact she was an alien. That included the memory-loss, her powers, or the fact Alex was her adoptive sister.

“So innocent,” Carry chuckled as Kara finished her groping story. Libby also laughed. “Kids these days, freaking out over a little touching.”

The older women didn’t make Kara feel better. The pair turned to talk to each other about how silly the couple was being and the blonde just sighed. Maria nudged her.

“Don’t listen to them, blondie. You take your time with this. You have to tell her the truth. Tell her like it is or she’ll never be with you. My girl doesn’t care that I’m out robbing cars all hours of the night because I tell her what I’m going to go do first. Carefully, of course. I don’t want her to be an accessory to a crime.”

“That’s very sweet of you,” Kara stated, truly believing it was. The Latina grinned. “Yeah, I know. You’re so lucky I’m here. These broads would have just laughed at you instead of telling you like it is.”

“Thank you. You know, I didn’t think you liked me,” Kara whispered. Maria smirked. “I don’t. You are just more entertaining than television, blondie.”

Kara was really glad she had been sent to jail. She never would have met such interesting women otherwise.

*

Later that night, Kara sat on her couch in her pajamas with her hair up in a bun. She rubbed the back of her neck, wondering if she should go out and make Alex talk to her. At that moment her phone buzzed with a message. Her heart jumped when she saw it was from Alex and quickly swiped to see the message.

“I’m coming over. We have to talk.” It stated.

She replied. “Yes, we do. I’ll see you soon.”

She typed another message to send, but hesitated to actually send it. She hit backspace to delete the seven letters, not sure Alex was ready to hear “I love you”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would give anything to see Batwoman and Supergirl interact with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. Toss in Sara Lance and it would be heck of a party. Maggie, Alex, and Renee Montoya aren't invited. No law officers allowed. They're too morally strict.


	28. At the beginning

 “Hey,” Kara greeted softly, holding her door open. Alex couldn’t even attempt a smile as her chest hurt from the thought of their upcoming talk. “Hey.”

Alex walked inside and threw her purse aside. She marched over near the couch and gestured towards it. “I need you to sit down, Kara. There’s something I have to tell you.”

Kara moved towards her instead. “Alex, please. Let me go first…”

“No,” Alex interrupted, holding up her hand to keep Kara from closing the distance between them. If Kara touched her, she wouldn’t be able to think straight. She had to stay focused and tell Kara the truth.

The blonde regrettably went to sit on the couch. She tried not to look as scared as she felt. “Okay. Tell me the truth.”

Alex tried. She just hadn’t meant for it to come out so wrong.

“We can’t continue this relationship,” Alex firmly stated. She then mentally scolded herself. That wasn’t how she intended to start.

“Why not?” Kara gasped, moving to sit on the edge of the couch. “We’ve both had a great time these past few weeks. You said so. Is it about earlier? I’m sorry I got carried away. It’s just…”

“It’s not about having a good time and it’s not about earlier,” Alex argued, looking away. “We can’t date any longer.”

“Why?” Kara pleaded. “Alex. Tell me what’s wrong? What changed between us?”

“Nothing has changed between us. I’ve changed. I can’t keep lying to you, Kara, and I _have_ been lying to you.” Alex took a breath and said what she should have weeks ago when Kara first returned to the planet. “We can’t date because we never actually dated to begin with. You only thought we had dated because the Circadians didn’t have a word for what we really are, Kara. We’re sisters.”

Kara shook her head. “No, we’re not. We are not sisters.”

Alex couldn’t hide her look of hurt at the response. She had to push away memories of Kara on Red Kryptonite. “Yes, we are.”

“I remember everything about my life on Krypton. I did not have a sister, Alex. I met you on Earth.”

“That’s true,” Alex conceded. “We’re adoptive sisters. You remember us together when we were young right? That’s because my parents raised you when you came to Earth. You lived with us. We’re family.”

“Family is biological bonds or it is the bonds you chose to mean as much as biological genetics. You, Winn, and J’onn are my family.”

“Sisters don’t date,” Alex pointed out what she had wanted to for weeks. It didn’t make her happy to point it out, but it relieved some of the pressure off her chest.

“We’re not sisters,” Kara reiterated. “I understand there are incestuous taboos, but we are not biological sisters. I know we shared a bond over these years. The Circadians told me I cared for you more than anyone else on this planet, but that was something I could plainly see from a single memory. All of my memories together show me I am in love with you, Alex.”

Alex shook her head, unable to believe Kara’s words. “Did you miss the part where I said we’ve never dated before Kara? I lied to you when I said we had. Your memories are just mismatched. You aren’t going to feel this way when you regain all of your memories.”

Kara rose off the couch angrily and moved a few steps away. She turned around, her fists clinched. “My feelings will not change when I regain my memories; I promise you this. I know in my heart I’ve always felt this way about you. Do you remember when you said you always knew when I was sad or disappointed? We were right here on this couch and you thought I was disappointed in you for being gay. I wasn’t. I was sad and I was disappointed but at myself. I remember because for years I loved you. You realized you liked women and it broke my heart when I wasn’t the one you said you liked. I know my feelings will not change.”

“I understand if what I just said upsets you. I do understand the concept of sisters, but I think what we have is not the same. We do not interact the way my mother and my Aunt Astra ever did and I remember when they were inseparable. What we share goes beyond sisters. I know you are my heart, Alex. I know I couldn’t live without you. The Earth’s yellow sun may give me superpowers, but you are the sun that gives me strength to keep going every day. These past six weeks have been the best of everything I can remember. I love you, Alexandra Danvers. I’m in love with you. I want to wake up in your arms every morning and kiss you before you fall asleep every night.”

The superhero took a breath before continuing. “If you just want to be sisters or friends, I can live with that. Just tell me and I’ll never bring this up again. Tell me you don’t feel the same and I’ll never act on my feelings again. I promise you this.”

Alex didn’t say anything. She didn’t know what she wanted. It’s one thing to come out as gay. It’s completely another to come out and start dating the woman you called your sister for over a decade.

The old Kara with all of memories would have taken the silence as a rejection and left. That came from years of hiding who she was on Earth. It was better to run away and avoid confrontation. However, the new Kara was able to forget the years of memories of hiding on Earth. She had the years she had been a brave and fearless girl on Krypton. This Kara wasn’t afraid of taking a risk if the rewards were great.

Kara slowly moved back towards the other woman. She wasn’t going to take a risk if it meant hurting Alex. She gave the other woman more than enough time to make a decision before moving inside of her personal space, stopping when they were a foot apart. She could hear Alex’s heart racing in her chest. Kara slowly reached out to take one of Alex’s hands in both of hers.

“Are you scared?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because this could ruin everything,” Alex confessed. Kara gave a wisp of a smile. “The best things in life can. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try for them.”

Alex opened her mouth to argue, her cautious side firmly disagreeing with her sister, but Kara leaning forward startled her silent.

“I want to kiss you, Alex. I want this to be our first real kiss as a couple. Everything else from before, it no longer counts. You were playing along with a lie. I don’t want this to be a lie. I want to really date you. I want to be with you because I love you. I want you to be with me because you feel the same. Or… at least because you could grow to feel the same. So I’m going to kiss you and this will be the start of a new us. Just say no at any moment you don’t want me to. I’ll stop and we’ll never talk about this again. Just say no.”

Kara could hear Alex’s heart racing faster than it had been. She took her time moving the remaining inches forward. She lifted a hand to cup her face. Blue eyes met worried, hazel ones. That made Kara pause. She really didn’t want to hurt Alex. She may have stopped altogether if the hazel eyes hadn’t glanced down to look at her lips. It gave Kara hope that there was some consideration. She continued moving forward.

“Say no,” Kara repeated. Her words warmed Alex’s lips as their mouths were inches away from each other.

Alex couldn’t say no. Not when her body was screaming yes. More importantly, she was Alex Danvers. If this was to be the first, real kiss of their relationship then she wasn’t going to settle for being a spectator in the event. So like their first kiss that happened outside of the building, she was the one to close the distance between them.

 Realistically, the kiss they shared then was no different than the kiss they shared that morning. The only thing that was different was Alex no longer felt burdened or guilty. Kara knew the truth and still wanted to be with her. Everyone Alex cared about had already given their blessing for her to be with Kara. Actually, everyone had already _insisted_ she be with Kara. So this kiss, the first of their official relationship, was the best in Alex’s opinion.

“How many first kisses are we going to have?” Alex asked, a little out of breath when they broke apart. Kara replied, feeling strangely lightheaded. “As many as it takes.”

Alex leaned in for another kiss, but Kara broke away. She felt a flare of panic. Had Kara changed her mind?

“I have something to tell you,” Kara confessed. “Everything I said earlier was based off a little lie.”

“What?” Alex gasped, ice flowing into her heart. She looked away, trying to blink back the desire to cry. If Kara didn’t really feel the same about her after everything she just laid out on the line, she wouldn’t survive.

“Alex, look at me,” Kara firmly stated, waiting until the other woman did. “I meant everything I said earlier. I just wanted to tell you the truth as well. Earlier, I acted like I was basing my feelings off of the memories the Circadians gave me. The truth is my memories came back yesterday when I was flying to Aunt Emma’s Pancake restaurant.”

“You mean…” Alex gasped, trying to comprehend. Kara nodded, giving her a shy smile. “I’ve been the old me for over 24 hours.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Alex exclaimed. “You just let me believe that…"

“ _You_ let me believe we were in a relationship for six weeks and that turned out pretty well for us,” Kara interrupted, crossing her arms. She wasn’t going to apologize for not telling the truth. Alex had lied to her for weeks. It had been an amazing lie, but still a lie. She wasn’t going to feel bad for keeping that lie going for another day.

Alex’s growing anger over being lied to burst. It would be hypocritical to get angry over Kara lying to her for less than a day when she had done so for weeks. It hadn’t changed anything. Everything Kara had just confessed had been the real her.

“I guess that’s why it felt different last night and this morning,” Alex mused. “You felt different.  Better.”

Kara couldn’t keep a proud smirk from growing on her face. “It’s nice to know the original recipe is the best.”

The agent had to shake her head at the line. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t realized Kara had regained her memories. It was clear to see now that her Circadian-mannerisms had disappeared.

“It’s strange to think that the Circadians have more than paid off any debt they feel they owe me,” Kara mused. “I saved their world and they fixed mine. I can’t help but think this never would have happened if I hadn’t lost my memories. Losing my memories allowed me to shed years of social constructs and hidden feelings to tell you how I felt.”

Alex felt uneasy when she realized she hadn’t told Kara how she felt. Kara was surprised to find herself pushed down onto the couch as Alex stood before her. Alex said, running a hand through her brown hair. “Okay. It’s my turn to confess my feelings.”

“Alex, you don’t have to,” Kara pointed out. “We have plenty of time to work through this together. This is new for you. I’ve had years to think it out.”

Alex gave a single laugh. “Kara, please. Hush.”

The blonde hushed.

“I’ve been thinking about us a lot these past twenty-four hours. I mean, I’ve thought about us constantly since you left Earth to begin with. But these past twenty-four hours I finally allowed myself to really thing about being with you. I always thought…these weeks were temporary. I really thought you would regain your memories, blush, and we’d never talk about this again. I knew if I got attached, if I allowed myself to relax and just feel that my heart would be broken. I couldn’t let that happen. I never told you that the night you disappeared Maggie rejected me.”

Kara nodded. “I figured it out. She let pieces slip when I met her at Aunt Emma’s and I put them together. Her loss. My gain.”

Alex allowed herself a brief smile. “It didn’t feel that way at the time. You kissing me when you got back, Kara, it shocked the hell out of me. And then, you wanted more and I didn’t know if I could give it. So I slowed us down, suggesting we started over with dating. I never thought it would be an amazing first date.”

“It was pretty amazing, wasn’t it?” Kara interrupted.

“Hush,” Alex ordered again. Kara made a show of zipping her lips which caused the brunette to smile.

“But I started falling for you after our date. These past few weeks, Kara…they’ve been…I don’t know how to describe them. You made me feel so special with just stupid little things. You showed me what it was like to have a girlfriend. It was the best feeling in the world to have a beautiful woman listen to what I was saying, bring me lunch, ask me about my day, and cuddle me in the evenings. Anything I asked for or needed, you gave. No questions asked. I needed slow and you gave me that. It’s been impossible for me to deny I have feelings for you because of these past few weeks.”

“Between my mother, J’onn, and Maggie I realized I actually had feelings for you a long time ago. I think I had a crush on you when you first landed on Earth. I mean, how could I not develop feelings for the beautiful, interesting alien who was dropped off on my front yard? I repressed those feelings. Do you remember what you asked me to promise during Myriad?”

Kara nodded.

“You told me you wanted me to find love and be happy. That you wanted me to do all the things that I couldn’t do because you were my sister. There was some truth to that. If I stop thinking of you as my sister, I know I can find love and be happy…with you. I realized today that it’s you, Kara. I think it’s always been you. I had feelings for you a long time ago. These past six weeks have been me falling in love with you or at least, realizing I already was.”

Alex grinned. “So, Zor-El Kara, I love you.”

Kara felt her heart burst with happiness. She beamed and replied, also using Circadian formalities. “I love you too, Danvers Alexandra.”

With a squeal of happiness, Kara pulled Alex down onto her lap for a kiss. The agent happily went along, enjoying the sensation. After a minute of the kiss, before things could get heavy, she pulled away with a laugh. “Does that count as another first kiss? How many times are we going to officially start this relationship over?”

Kara laughed. “Hopefully, that was the last time. I have nothing else to tell you besides that fact that I love you.”

Alex smiled. “I love you too.”

“May I sing to you?” Kara asked, biting her lip.

The agent was struck dumbfounded. If Kara hadn’t been holding her, she might have fallen off of the couch. Kara rarely sang even though she had the most beautiful voice. Singing was something she had done back on Krypton with her family. It hurt the blonde too much to try so she only hummed or spoke-sang Earth songs, never trying for melody.

Seeing the shocked expression, Kara quickly explained. “When I lost my memories, I must have watched Anastasia a dozen times. The movie just hit something within me with the memory-loss and romance. At the end of the movie there is a song that Donna Lewis and Richard Marx sing as a duet called ‘At the Beginning’.  I listened to that song on replay for hours after hearing it play during the credits. It made me think of us. May I sing a part of it to you?”

Alex nodded and Kara sang, “We were strangers, starting out on a journey, never dreaming what we'd have to go through. Now here we are. I'm suddenly standing at the beginning with you.”

The brunette swallowed back tears. The beautiful voice and words touched her. She wanted to return the favor but remembered little about the song. Kara had made her watch the animated rom com two times in exchange for the blonde watching Hellraiser 2. She struggled to remember the next line. “Doesn’t the guy start singing next?”

Kara nodded with a grin. Alex crinkled her nose in concentration and tried to sing, her voice nowhere near as beautiful as the blonde’s. “…No one told me I was going to find you. Unexpected, what you did to my heart…”

 “When I lost hope, you were there to remind me. This is a start.” Kara finished the line for her when Alex’s memory ran out.

“It is the start,” Alex agreed. The alien delightedly kissed Alex’s cheek. “I expected you to roll your eyes at how sappy I’m being.”

The brunette chuckled. “I suppose I’ll have to get used to you singing Disney songs to me more often and wanting to duet.”

“Technically, Anastasia is a Fox Animation production,” Kara felt the need to point out. “You will be subjugated to all types of musicals and animations in this relationship.”

“Sounds fun.” Alex grinned at a thought. “At least now I don’t have to bribe you to come to horror films with me. As my girlfriend, it is your requirement to attend.”

Kara’s jaw dropped. “No. No. That’s not part of the rules.”

Alex firmly nodded. “Yes, yes it is. In exchange for sappy duets, you have to watch horror movies with me. We have to start tonight because of what we just did.”

“No.”

“Yes. I think we should watch ‘Seven’.”

Kara groaned. “No. Not that. I know I asked ‘what’s in the box’ during our first date, but I remember it now. We don’t have to watch it again.”

“Fine,” Alex relented. “We’ll watch Halloween.”

Kara sighed. Blue eyes looked over a smug Alex and they paused over on how long and graceful Alex’s neck was. She leaned over to place a kiss on the spot where Alex’s shoulder and neck met. The brunette gasped in response.

“Or,” Kara mused, placing another kiss further along Alex’s clavicle. “We could just sit here and talk, get to know one another better.”

“We know each other pretty well,” Alex argued but adjusted on Kara’s lap to make it easier on the blonde. “And that doesn’t feel like talking.”

“I’m recovering from memory loss,” Kara explained with a doleful expression. “I have forgotten how talking starts. I believe it is preluded by lots of physical contact and kissing around this region.”

The blonde placed another kiss on Alex’s neck. Alex couldn’t lie to herself. The thought of spending the evening being able to touch and kiss Kara without feeling guilty over lying sounded like a great night. Still, she felt the need to give Kara the same warning she had given every boy/man she had tolerated physical affection with.

“Kara?” Blue eyes looked up to see affectionate, but serious hazel ones. “Do not leave a hickey.”

The blonde snorted into her neck. “Geez, Alex. I’m not a teenager.”

She left three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole fiction was really a song fic and I lured you in under false pretenses *evil laugh*
> 
> So what do you think? End it here or one more chapter tomorrow? Perhaps that a double date between Maggie, Kate, Alex, and Kara?


	29. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA The Double Date
> 
> Here we go.

Alex ducked behind a car and checked her communicator when it started beeping. Seeing it was Maggie calling, she tapped her earpiece.

“Danvers? Sawyer.”

“Little busy right now, Sawyer.” The secret agent replied. She tried to glance around the side of the car and quickly ducked back when a wave of icicles slammed into the front.

“Yeah, I’m watching the news. Supergirl’s looking pretty happy today if I say so myself,” Maggie smirked.

Alex, who had been fiddling with a DEO rocket launcher, stopped to roll her eyes. “Jesus, Sawyer. Why did you call if you knew I was busy?”

“Why did you answer if you were busy?”

The agent made a noise of disgust and moved along side of the car towards the rear. She shouldered the rocket launcher and nodded to another DEO agent hiding a few cars away. He nodded back and came out of hiding to fire his rifle at the alien. His bullets bounced harmlessly off of the female alien, but it got her attention. She shot slivers of ice towards him and he quickly fell to the ground to avoid them.

Alex took the six seconds to aim and fire. The alien screeched as it saw the missile racing towards it and ducked at the last moment. The ice woman shouted. “You missed.”

“Actually.” The alien turned around to find Supergirl behind her holding the delayed-detonated missile. “She didn’t. Catch!”

As with many species across the universe, when someone throws something at you and shouts ‘catch’, you catch it. So the alien caught the missile that tried to bounce off her chest and then made a hissing noise when she realized her mistake. Kara was already taken cover under her cape when the rocket exploded.

The alien wasn’t killed, only knocked out from the force of the explosion. It did leave one heck of a crater in the middle of the road. Something the transportation department of National City was not going to appreciate, Alex thought as she brushed some debris off her uniform. Maggie was laughing in her ear.

“Genius, Danvers.”

“Thanks,” Alex smirked. She signaled her troops to go restrain the Fort Rozz escapee. Supergirl flew over towards her. Kara looked her up and down, reaching over to brush some more debris off. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” The agent said. She adjusted the collar of her uniform to help cover the hickeys on her neck. They were already completely covered with makeup, but she still felt a little self-conscious about them. Kara saw the gesture and gave an apologetic smile which Alex didn’t quite believe.

“Why are you calling again, Sawyer?”

Maggie laughed. “Almost forgot. Kate and I wanted to invite you and Kara out for a drink. She came into town last night.”

“Kate’s here?” Kara cried out, her super-hearing able to eavesdrop on Alex’s conversation. She moved closer, as if desiring to take the communicator out of the brunette’s ear and do the talking herself. “I’d love to see her.”

“Stop being nosy,” Alex admonished, but Kara knew she wasn’t really upset by the twinkle in her hazel eyes. The brunette returned her attention back to the detective. “Wouldn’t you and Kate like some alone time?”

“We got plenty of time for alone time,” The detective replied. “We’d like to hang out.”

“I’d love too,” Kara called out, moving even closer so she knew Maggie could hear her.

On the other side of the line, a red-head wrestled a phone away from her renewed lover. “Kara?”

Alex tried to swat Kara away as the blonde got even closer to her ear. “By Rao, Kate. Can you hear me?”

“Well enough. It’s so good to hear your voice!”

“Yours too,” The blonde gushed. Alex and Maggie gave both of their respective girlfriends incredulous looks for taking over their phone call.

“So what say you, blondie, feel up for a round of drinks?”

“We’d love to,” Kara happily declared. A look of horror washed across her face when she realized what she had done. She quickly backpedalled. “Wait. No. I’m sorry. I need to ask if it’s okay with Alex first.”

Alex rolled her eyes. It wasn’t like she could say no now without looking like the bad guy. She nodded in agreement.

Kara, remembering that she was very close to Alex’s ear, tried not to squeal. “She said yes. You and Maggie decide when and where tonight and we’ll be there.”

“Roger that, Supergirl. Alex, did you want me to put Maggie back on the phone?”

“No, I think we’re good,” Alex grunted, ending the call.

The agent had to fight against laughing the entire way back to the DEO where Supergirl followed her the whole time looking like a guilty puppy. As soon as they were alone, Kara apologized. “I’m sorry. I was really excited about seeing Kate that I didn’t take your feelings into account. I can call and make an excuse if you don’t want to go.”

“Are you going to remember to ask me next time?” Alex asked, crossing her legs and arms as she leaned back against one of her lab tables. Kara nodded.

“Then I guess it’s okay if we go.”

The blonde laughed in delight and went over to give the other woman a kiss on the cheek. “We’re going to have so much fun. Kate is a hoot.”

“I’m sure,” Alex drawled, imagining the woman who had kept Maggie’s attention and love over the years had to be amazing. It was just mildly annoying that Kara seemed to think so as well.

Stop it, she told herself. There’s no reason to be jealous. Kara loves you, not Kate Kane.

Kara glanced around with her supervision. Most of the new DEO was not lined with lead and she was able to see no one in their general location. So she moved to stand in front of Alex, her feet on either side of Alex’s crossed ones and she leaned forward, bracing her hands on the table. She effectively had Alex pinned very close to her.

Alex arched a brow as she glanced down. “I thought we had a discussion about PDAs.”

“You had that talk with memory-loss Kara. I’m a completely different woman,” Kara grinned. “But if you want me to move I’ll…”

Alex unfolded her arms to take hold of Kara’s hips, keeping the woman in front of her. “It’s probably best if you stay right where you are. Otherwise you might upset another ice-slinging alien.”

Kara pouted. “That was totally not my fault. I was helping a traffic accident. She just decided to start throwing ice around when she saw me from across the street.”

A sudden desire to kiss and maybe nibble on Kara’s pouting lip shot through Alex’s mind and she looked away with a blush. She was not used to feelings like that. They would take some getting used to.

“Are you really okay with going out tonight?” Kara asked once more, wanting to be triple-sure she wasn’t pressuring Alex into something she didn’t want to do. The brunette nodded. “Yes, Kara. I’m fine with it. It should be interesting at the least to meet the woman you developed a crush on in Gotham.”

Denial was instantly written all over Kara’s face. “I never had a crush on Batwoman.”

Alex laughed, leaning forward to steal a kiss that she really wanted. “Yes, you did. You had a crush on her, Cat Grant, Lucy Lane, and Lena Luthor. There’s no use in denying it.”

There really was no use, Kara realized. But her Kryptonian brain didn’t let her down on a reply.

“What can I say?” Kara said, leaning forward to kiss Alex’s neck. “I find strong, powerful, beautiful women attractive. That’s why I’m in love with the best of them all.”

“Flatterer. Stop it,” Alex said as she swatted Kara’s side, blushing from the words and the kiss.

Kara moved her head back up to kiss Alex on the lips which the other woman eagerly accepted. They would have continued if not for someone clearing their throat causing them to jump apart.

“Ladies,” J’onn said, carefully looking at each of them. “This is not the best behavior for work.”

“Of course. Sorry, sir,” Alex replied. Supergirl meekly smiled.

J’onn chuckled, “That said, I’m very happy Kara has regained her memories and you two are properly together. I shall take my leave you.”

J’onn heard Kara ask ‘how did he know about my memories’ as he walked away. He merely shook his head. It was all about her body language. He decided to go find Winn and alert him of the news. Then perhaps the hacker would get back to DEO work instead of plotting to get the two women together. His POA was already 23 stages long.

*

Alex carefully evaluated her neck before applying a bit more yellow color corrector to the purple bruises. She grumbled, “Really, Kara. Three?”

“Sorry not sorry,” The blonde called out from Alex’s kitchen where she was eating all the leftovers in Alex’s fridge. She considered it part of her duty as the agent’s girlfriend to help keep her fridge clean.

Alex picked up a concealer that matched her skin tone to powder over the bruise. The bruises didn’t look as red as they had that morning as she had been using icepacks and other tricks to help breakup the blood underneath the skin. She reevaluated her work and gave a satisfied nod when you couldn’t tell where the hickeys were.

Kara chose that moment to walk up behind her and wrap her arms around Alex’s middle. She couldn’t stop herself from placing a kiss on the brunette’s exposed neck.

“Don’t even think about it,” Alex warned, placing the makeup in its proper place on her bathroom counter.

The blonde laughed after placing another kiss. “You could have stopped me. You had to know what I was doing at least by the second one.”

Alex tried not to blush as she looked up into the mirror to see amused blue-eyes. She had known what Kara was doing last night. She hadn’t stopped her because the action felt so much better with Kara then it had with any guy. In the past, she had tolerated kisses and sex. She had not enjoyed it when they stopped to lick and suck on anything so she asked them not to. Asking them to stop such activities had the added bonus of completing sexual intercourse a lot faster.

It had been different with Kara. Alex hadn’t been put off by her smell and loved running her fingers through the blonde’s long hair as she enjoyed the open-mouth kisses on her neck. Alex had known what Kara was doing the first time she felt the blonde tentatively suck on the corner of her neck. It just felt so amazing that she didn’t ask her to stop.

There was no telling how many more hickeys she would have had if she hadn’t pinned Kara to the couch in a desire to try necking herself. Alex (or any other Earthling) wasn’t capable of leaving hickeys on the blonde’s neck. The Kryptonian’s body would heal them in a nanosecond. But that didn’t stop Alex from giving it an old college try anyway. Kara had been delighted with her attempts.

Another kiss at her neck caused Alex to shiver. Kara would have smirked if she hadn’t felt like shivering herself. Instead, she laid her head on Alex’s shoulder and whispered, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Alex stated, forcing herself back under control. “We should go or we’re going to be late.”

Kara nodded against Alex’s shoulder before pulling away. She allowed herself to fully appreciate how Alex looked. “So beautiful.”

The agent grinned. “You look pretty incredible yourself. Let’s go.”

*

“Kara!” Kate called out, waving the Danvers down when they walked into the Dolly Parton Dive bar. Kara eagerly waved back and took Alex by the hand to lead the way. Alex gave their linked hands a glance, feeling like she had the night Maggie first took her hand, and quickly refocused on the mission.

Double date, she corrected herself. Not a mission.

Maggie wiggled her eyebrows at the taller brunette as Kara pulled away from Alex to hug Kate. “Do you get the feeling they didn’t really want to double date and just wanted to see each other?”

“That had crossed my mind,” Alex mused. They both laughed and exchanged their own hug.

Kate pulled away from Kara, having heard the comment. “You can’t blame me for wanting to see her. Harley still asks about my blonde girlfriend and I never have a proper answer.”

Maggie pursed her lips. “I see I need to have a chat with Harley Quinn when I return to Gotham.”

Alex gasped, feeling kicked in the stomach. “You’re leaving?”

“Not for a few months,” Maggie reassured her. “Kate and I are taking it slow. We’re going to visit each other on weekends and see how it goes. I really like my job and she likes hers. If we can make long distance work then it should be a good sign we can make it work in _close_ distance.”

“We’ll come and visit,” Kara instantly stated. “I’ve been dying to go back. They had the most amazing Italian place and free batarangs everywhere. You can just find them on any building.”

The trio laughed at the blonde. Kate beamed. “But I’m told I owe you ladies a round of drinks for persuading this one to give me a call.”

Green-eyes found adoring brown ones. Even though Kate was explaining to the set of Danvers, it was clear Maggie was her whole world in that moment. “Stubborn pride kept me from calling her the first few weeks we were apart. Then she moved away. I just assumed she moved on even though I thought about her every day. You will never know what I felt when I saw her calling me. I knew it had to be a request for Batwoman, but I hoped she was calling me to say she missed me. What I got was even better.”

“She said she loved her,” Alex explained in a whisper when it looked like Kate and Maggie wouldn’t stop gazing into each other’s eyes.

Kara whispered back, “Do we look at each other like that?”

The pair instantly turned to face each other and Alex felt her face soften. She knew the answer to Kara’s question was yes.

“So, how about that round of drinks?” Kate asked, finally able to tear her eyes away from the beautiful detective.

Alex nodded and Kara followed after the red head, trying to explain she couldn’t get drunk.

“So,” Maggie started, now that she and Alex were alone. “It looks like it’s going pretty well. You seem to have gotten over a lot of your hang ups.”

“I have,” Alex acknowledged. “It’s perfect to be honest. You know I really thought after you…rejected me that I wouldn’t find anyone. That it was stupid to try.”

The detective looked pained. “I never meant for you to feel that way, Alex.”

Alex waved off her comment. “No, it wasn’t you. It was me and…some issues of mine. But it turned out for the best. I didn’t need to go find anyone. She was actually there all along.”

Maggie nodded with an understanding smile and turned her head to watch their girlfriends return to the table.

Kate was carrying three shots of something and Kara was holding a tall, pink, slushy drink.

“Virgin strawberry daiquiri,” The blonde explained. Maggie snickered, “It fits.”

Alex and Maggie took their shots and the four women looked at each other. Kate grinned. “It’s sappy but here’s to love.”

“To love,” The trio echoed as they tapped glasses. Kara took a long sip as she watched the others shoot their shots.

“Another?” Kate asked. Maggie shrugged and Alex nodded. The red head was about to wave for another round when Alex’s phone went off.

“Damn it,” She cursed, realizing it was a DEO page. “Two humans have gotten hold of some of Cadmus’s guns again. They’re tearing up the street a few blocks over.”

Kara had already set down her drink and started towards the door. Kate followed after her without excusing herself to either of the law enforcement agents. Maggie arched a brow after her disappearing lover. She asked the agent, “Do you need some help?”

“Probably not,” Alex laughed. “But you should come along anyway. I’ve been wanting to show you my guns.”

“I bet you say that to all the girls,” Maggie quipped, following the brunette out of the bar.

 

*

The couple of shooters honestly didn’t know what hit them when Supergirl, Batwoman, and two heavily armed women showed up. They were taken down within five minutes and the four went back to the bar for another drink. They spent an hour chatting before each couple bid goodnight. Talking was fun but the women really did want private time with their girlfriends.

After two large pizzas and two pints of ice cream between them, the Danvers couple found themselves in a similar position as the previous evening. Alex was sitting on Kara’s lap again. She blamed Kryptonian genes. It really was unfair how good Kara smelt. She paused kissing to give a teasing warning.

“Kara?” The blonde looked up to see Alex giving her a similar expression as the night before. “No trying to make it to second base.”

“I already stole second base.” Kara kindly pointed out. When she received a pointed look from her girlfriend, she laughed. “Really, Alex. I’m not some rambunctious college student.”

She made it halfway to third.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex: *thinking of guys* Kara, don't.  
> Kara: *respectfully tries just a little, ready to stop instantly if Alex is not okay*  
> Alex: *pleasantly surprised* Kara...maybe.
> 
> And so we've reached the end. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and checking back every day for this story's updates. I don't have another story planned at the moment but who knows. I had only planned for this story to be a short couple of thousands words about Circadian-mannered Kara going around and kissing Alex everywhere. Look where it turned out.


End file.
